Ever wondered if the state of your bedroom reflects the state of your
life? In my case, I think it is a perfect comparison - disorganised,
messy and filled with random objects. There is the occasional nod
towards order and a good intention; a pile of files and paper, a music
stand with a book open ready to be practised, and the odd tap shoe
lying around in a discarded fashion. However, these good intentions are
surrounded by everyday detritus; clothes, bags, bits of paper, unopened
mail and a calendar that's two months behind. This therefore results in
the inability to find anything, creating an infuriating sense of
frustration at my own laziness. It is unfortunately a vicious circle.
This is the same for my life/career, I know I could probably be doing more to up my chances of getting work, and I have every intention of writing that letter/ sending that email/ going to see that show, but somehow I just don't get round to doing it! Or when I do, it's a least a week after I intended to. Why is this? I want to succeed, I want to be able to create a life for myself being an actress and I love performing and everything about theatre, so why on earth can't I sort myself -and my room- into something organised, efficient and focused? I have no one else to blame but myself, it's not my personal circumstances, money, or any other factor that can excuse why I am not more committed to furthering or indeed starting my career. So why am I wallowing in this apathy??
It is true I have not exactly just been sat around doing nothing, I have been filming student films all week, and have attended workshops run by the Actors Centre North, I always practice singing, I try and apply for a lot of jobs online, and do occasionally make it to the theatre (Accidental Death of an Anarchist by Northern Broadsides last week - brilliant!), but what have I got to show for it? Absolutely nothing. I have a growing fear of being left behind, especially as friends or colleagues are getting work, meeting new people and generally leading a more exciting life than I am. Sometimes I do feel quite positive and excited for the future, but the moments of doubt and insecurity, although not a dominating influence, do have their impact on my outlook. I know I just have to buck my ideas up and get on with it, and until I can say I am doing absolutely everything I can possibly do, I am not allowed to moan about being an unemployed actress!
It is true I have not exactly just been sat around doing nothing, I have been filming student films all week, and have attended workshops run by the Actors Centre North, I always practice singing, I try and apply for a lot of jobs online, and do occasionally make it to the theatre (Accidental Death of an Anarchist by Northern Broadsides last week - brilliant!), but what have I got to show for it? Absolutely nothing. I have a growing fear of being left behind, especially as friends or colleagues are getting work, meeting new people and generally leading a more exciting life than I am. Sometimes I do feel quite positive and excited for the future, but the moments of doubt and insecurity, although not a dominating influence, do have their impact on my outlook. I know I just have to buck my ideas up and get on with it, and until I can say I am doing absolutely everything I can possibly do, I am not allowed to moan about being an unemployed actress!
I say moan, you've gotta let it out. Being unemployed ain't exactly fun, even if you're not firing full cylinders 100% to get work.
But I know what you mean, I go to the theatre and networking events and spotlight workshops and does *anything* come of them? Bugger all, to be honest. And that's what brings me to those "what's the point" moments. You write the letters, send the emails, meet the casting directors, go to theatre openings, do the networking thing and nada. It makes one wonder exactly what the heck you have to do.
For the record my room is... haphazard, piles of clothes, random bits of rubbish, and uneaten food. I'm so bad for that. Mouldy bananas turn up in the weirdest of places. Perhaps it's a metaphor for good intentions, but letting them go to waste? I dunno. All I do know is that the only options are try more, or give up. So what's it gonna be?
Hi, Take a week off the theatre stuff. Tidy your room up. Give everything a specific place...everything. Draw yourself a diagram of all your possible storage places, drawers, wardrobes, baskets etc and then decide what should be stored in them and in exactly which drawer etc. Then put it all away. I am just a messy so and so and i found this really helped me to get organsied, and instead of making little piles of random "i don't know where to put this' items, i a now able to put it away as i know for isntance that my mp3 player cable needs to go in the box with all the other cables and electrical things. It sounds totally anal but does help.
As for the theatre. Well it is difficult. Have you got the talent? Sounds really harsh i know, but do you believe you can do it? if the answer is yes, then it is just a matter of perserverence and persistance. You always hear the storys about the actor who got turned down a zillion times but just kept knocking. How about taking a little time out. Get a job in a different sector or even in a different field of theatre, and then review it in 6 moths. be aware though that this route can be difficult to wriggle out of, when, six months down the line you are enjoying a regular wage in a mundane job and the money is now funding a better lifestlye than you had and now you have more out goings to pay for so going back to being unemployed again might seem daunting. I'd say go for it. give yourself a year and that's it. no longer. the deadline will help you to focus and to take action. Do everything you can. remember everything you do is a learning process and is just preparing you for the acting job that is just right for you and you for it! Also tidy up as you go along. life is just too short to waste full days tidying up. Be aware of what you are leaving lying around and put it away instead. A tidy room/home really does liberate you and makes life so much easiner. Good luck x