We Are Family...

In one of those meaningless surveys conducted by FMCG companies in a brazen (if successful) attempts to get their brands into the media, Caroline Aherne’s The Royle Family have come out top as Britain’s best loved TV family.

The survey, commissioned by Dr Oetker pizza of all people, places the Royles above the Trotters, the Simpsons and the Osbournes. But wait! Before you can say, “Clearly, eating Dr Oetker pizzas deprives you of all concept of televisual history”, also making the Top 25 list include The Carringtons from Dynasty (somewhat bizarrely beaten by Californian neighbours The Colbys), the Cranes (Frasier), Six Feet Under’s Fishers and The Addams Family.

The full list reads:

1. The Royle Family (The Royle Family)
2. The Trotters (Only Fools and Horses)
3. The Simpsons (The Simpsons)
4. The Osbournes (The Osbournes)
5. The Cranes (Frasier)
6. The Addams Family (The Addams Family)
7. The Waltons (The Waltons)
8. The Dingles (Emmerdale)
9. The Mitchells (Eastenders)
10. The Fishers (Six Feet Under)
11. The Boswells (Bread)
12. The Ewings (Dallas)
13. The Battersbys (Coronation Street)
14. The Cunninghams (Happy Days)
15. The Slaters (Eastenders)
16. The Huxtables (The Cosby Show)
17. The Connors (Roseanne)
18. The Cohens (The O.C.)
19. The Kennedys (Neighbours)
20. The Ramseys (Neighbours)
21. The Robinsons (Neighbours)
22. The Colbys (Dynasty/ The Colbys)
23. The Bristows (Alias)
24. The Sullivans (The Sullivans)
25. The Carringtons (Dynasty)

Surely, the most curious — certainly the most dysfunctional — family in the list is the Bristows, from J.J. Abrams’ spy series Alias. There aren’t many families where the daughter finds out that, while she thinks she’s working alongside her dad for a top-secret division of the CIA, they’re actually both working for the enemy — and the mother she thinks is dead is actually a Russian spy. But still, it’s a more interesting life than the bloomin’ Ramseys at No. 20 — especially since they pretty much all left in the first few years of the soap, although cousin Madge did stay on for a bit longer.

I can’t help feeling there are several families missing from the list, though. Who would you like to see on there? The Tylers (Rose, Jackie, Pete and — by extension — Mickey Smith) from Doctor Who? The Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie? The Monsoons from Absolutely Fabulous?

TV Todayers, it’s over to you!