December 2006 Archives

The Sarah Jane Adventures
BBC1 4.50pm
The second spin-off show from Doctor Who in a year — and if anything, I’m more excited about this than I ever was in the lead-up to the Torchwood launch. Seventies icon Sarah-Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen), fresh from her guest role in an episode of Doctor Who in the spring, gets her second stab at leading a show after the Eighties’ dire K9 and Company. This special, to be followed by a full series later in 2007, sees the intrepid journalist team up with a team of kids to unmask the evil forces behind a suspiciously addictive new soft drink… With the guest villain role taken up by Samantha “James” Bond, and a cracking script from Gareth Roberts and Russell T Davies, miss this at your peril.

The Wind in the Willows
BBC1 6.20pm
I have to say, I don’t think any adaptation of Kenneth Grahame’s classic novel could ever surpass the brilliant Cosgrove Hall stop-motion version, voiced by David Jason and Michael Hordern. While the cast list for this new version is stellar — Matt Lucas, Mark Gatiss, Bob Hoskins — and their performances convey the animals they are portraying particularly effectively, somehow the charm of anthropomorphised animals doing silly things palls a little when they look so human.

Dead Clever
ITV1 9.00pm
Suranne Jones and Dean Lennox Kelly lead a great cast in another one-off drama from ITV1 that’s better than the channel’s current reputation may have you believe. There’s nothing especially ground-breaking at work here, but you’llenjoy the two hours you spend in its company.

The Vicar of Dibley
BBC1 9.30pm
This is apparently the last-ever episode of the ever-enjoyable village sitcom — although whether that’s “last-ever” in the normal English sense, or the “Only Fools and Horses” sense, we shall have to wait and see. Whatever, Geraldine’s ridiculously unbelievable romance and engagement, as seen in the Christmas Day episode, culminate in the vicar getting hitched tonight. And Alice turns up to the wedding dressed as the Doctor, flanked by a couple of Daleks. Doesn’t everybody?

Torchwood
BBC3 9.30pm
A double bill of episodes ends Torchwood’s first series. It’s been an up-and-down ride, with the show not really finding its feet until well past the halfway mark. However, with Jack and Toshiko stranded in the 1940s, and the others encountering an American serviceman introducing himself as Captain Jack Harkness, it looks like Cardiff is heading for an apocalypse… Unforutunately, the final episode is written by series co-producer Chris Chibnall, whose scripts so far have tended to be the most clichéd and wearisome of the lot. Hopefully he’ll redeem himself here.

It’s Now or Never
ITV1, Saturday 5:30pm
When this edition of the song-and-dance extravaganza show was hastily rescheduled earlier this year, most tabloids decried it as a ‘series being cancelled’. That was a convenient tag for papers that were describing ITV as being in meltdown at the time — but the truth is that most of the people who saw the first edition of this show loved it. Well, now it’s time for the word of mouth to pay off, as this second show — in which an unsuspecting member of the public is presented with a big song-and-dance number to help announce a bit of life-changing information — promises to be even better than the first.

Robin Hood
BBC1, Saturday 6:50pm
You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m going to miss Robin Hood. Tonight’s episode, the last in the series, sees Robin tormented with grief after Marian’s death last week — so much so that he even loses the somewhat namby-pamby image he’s been saddled with all series. But there are twists aplenty all through the episode, keeping you on the edge of your seat. What a shame that this interpretation of the Sherwood legend hasn’t been this exciting and dramatic all the way through the run.

Harry Hill’s Christmas TV Burp
ITV1, Saturday 7:30pm
As with all comedy shows, TV Burp can be a hit-and-miss affair — but when it hits its targets, there is rarely anything funnier. Quite deserving of his recent Comedy Awards wins, a bit of healthy deconstruction of the Christmas TV schedules will be welcome. Expect the various Yuletide soap deaths to feature prominently.

Casualty
BBC1, Saturday 8.25pm & New Year’s Eve 8pm
After last week’s jaw-droppingly good episodes, how could we not compel you to watch another double set of episodes this weekend? As with last week, both episodes are written by the superb Barbara Machin. I haven’t seen these yet — after the thrill of last week, I’d hate my enjoyment to be spoiled — but expect them to be far higher quality than most regular episodes of the long-running soap. Unfortunately, I shall have to record Saturday’s, because…

Viewer of the Year
ITV1, Saturday 9pm
ITV are looking back at the past 12 months in the way that only ITV can — with a game show. Viewer of the Year sees fifty members of the public answering up to 50 multiple choice questions on 2006 television. At various points throughout the two-hour long show, the lowest scoring contestants will be eliminated, until one person remains — and they’ll win £50,000 and a home cinema system.

And, erm, I’m one of the fifty. Wish me luck.

Fear of Fanny
BBC2, New Year’s Eve, 9pm
We featured this heavily on the blog when it was first shown on BBC4, but no apologies for highlighting it again on its terrestrial debut. Julia Davis and Mark Gatiss are superb in this comic dramatisation of the life of Fanny Cradock, one of the first stars of TV cookery. It’s a touching portrait of a fearsome woman and her loyal partner.

New Years Celebrations
Everywhere
Don’t see the new year in with television, there’s a love. Even addicts such as us at TV Today Towers take one night off a year!

There’ll be a special New Year’s Day Square Eyes along later…

Yes, the TV Today Awards are still going on, and you’ve still got a chance to vote in all the categories! Today, we’re looking at the shows who didn’t get great audience figures, but should have done.

• Suburban Shootout, Five/Paramount

  Five’s twisted sitcom about rival housewife gangs in suburbia was bursting at the seams with great acting names, the humour was sharp, and it was quite unlike anything else on television (save for unfair comparisons with Desperate Housewives).

• Not Going Out, BBC1

  In an era where sitcoms tend to insist on location shooting and no laugh track, Not Going Out took the brave decision to use a more traditional studio-with-audience format. And the script was more traditional sitcom, too, with a setup-joke-setup-joke format that was actually quite pleasantly refreshing. Written by Andrew Collins and Lee Mack, who also starred, maybe its Friday evening slot worked against it.

• The Family Man, BBC1

  Trevor Eve’s fertility expert provided the pivot for a selection of stories about families who each had their own problems. Covering very topical ethical issues, The Family Man managed to do so without comprising the entertainment value of the best forms of drama.

• The Virgin Queen, BBC1

  Anne-Marie Duff’s portrayal of Elizabeth I was simply breathtaking. It was unfortunate that it came to our screens so soon after Helen Mirren’s own performance, but Paula Milne’s impressive screenplay provided captivating viewing for four weeks.

• Sorted, BBC1

  A sort of Clocking Off for postal workers, with each episode focussing one of a group of postmen, Sorted had a charm about it that was buoyed along by its great cast. With Neil Dudgeon and Dean Lennox Kelly leading the postal side, and able support from Tracy Ann Oberman and Nina Sosanya giving us tales of fractured lives, it looks like there’ll never be a second series.

• Tripping Over, Five

  A bold attempt at multinational commissioning, with stories set in London and Australia, Tripping Over fused an engaging set of characters with a great script — and for its trouble, got poor audiences. Overshadowed at the time by Dan Chambers’ departure from Five, it may be the channel’s last attempt at original drama for a while.

• The State Within, BBC1

  A densely-plotted tale of political intrigue, one of the BBC’s most ambitious dramas of the year maybe didn’t do itself any favours by leaving most of the audience scratching their heads in bewilderment at the end of episode one. Those who stuck with it, though, found their patience richly rewarded. Again, a second series is unlikely after the first’s poor ratings performance.

• The Innocence Project, BBC1

  Now, this is one of Mark’s suggestions, and while he’s off enjoying family shenanigans in Ireland, I’m left having to admit that I’m one of the many who didn’t see the first few episodes of this new legal drama. The concept of reopening old cases worked for Waking the Dead or New Tricks, so on paper exploring miscarriages of justice should work. Unfortunately, ratings have been less than stellar and so the second half of the first series has been delayed…

• Spiral, BBC4

  Most of the imported crime shows we get here in the UK originate from America. BBC4’s import, on the other hand, hails from France. A taut, intensely plotted thriller, it wasn’t just the subtitled dialogue that compelled you to watch every frame — the acting and cinematography was superb throughout. A BBC2 repeat in the New Year, please!

• Sinchronicity, BBC3

  For those of us who revelled in Channel 4’s teen/twentysomething drama As If, this was like greeting an old friend. From the same production company, and reuniting Jemima Rooper and Paul Chequer, Sinchronicity also covered much the same ground — but, with a post-watershed slot, could do so more intensely. The dilemmas of all the sexual dynamics built up satisfyingly over the course of the series, leading to a series finale that ticked all the boxes.

Got your own opinion? Think we’ve missed somebody? Take part in the TV Today Awards, where you can vote on this and several other categories.

Not too hard to tell what this piece is about, but Christmas Day almost brought a little tear to my eye as I settled down to watch Doctor Who with my family.

It’s very rare that we’re all together, but this gathering did give me chance to experience something that everybody has been talking about since Easter 2005 - that strange ability for Doctor Who to bring the entire family together, united in front of the box for 60 minutes. I’ve been a bit dubious about it all really, but it turns out to be true. I’m usually banished to the black and white portable upstairs when one of those strange sci-fi things I like is on, but not this Christmas. Indeed, I was pushed to find a decent vantage point in easy reach of the nut bowl, so packed was the living room with nephews, brothers, sister-in-laws and parents. But there we were come 7pm, each and every one of us.

And something else that nearly brought a tear to this hardened TV viewer’s eyes… That old cliche about kids hiding behind the sofa when Doctor Who is on? Turns out to be true, too. Well, behind the cushions at any rate. Five-year-old nephew sitting next to me, very brave for the most part, whispered a request for me to hand him the cushion to duck behind every time the robot Santas with the big guns came on. After 30 years, things have come full circle in the Wright household (although it’s the 35-year-old who’s still getting the Doctor Who Annual from his mum on Christmas morning…)

This time last week, if you were to ask me what the most surprisingly original and affecting drama to be shown this Christmas period was going to be, there would have been no way on Earth I would have answered, “Casualty”. Last weekend, though, Barbara Machin created a two-part story that showed that the world’s longest-running medical drama still has the power to shock and surprise.

Saturday’s episode, Killing Me Softly, took a non-linear approach, with three overlapping strands focussing on paramedic Josh (Ian Bleasdale), nurse Ellen (Georgina Bourzova) and frantic mum Laura (Holly Aird). Plotlines weaved in and out of each story, each gradually building towards a devastating conclusion. Dialogue which could otherwise have been mistaken for the usual background filler in a standard episode expanded as each scene was replayed from a different perspective. And while the revelation that Laura was suffering from Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy would not have been a surprise to many a long-standing viewer of the programme, the discontinuous narrative helped the episode steer clear of too many clichés.

In many respects, Sunday’s episode Silent Night was business as usual compared with Saturday’s narrative structure. While the rewind effect, used the previous day to signify the end of one tale and the start of another, returned here, it was generally used on a scene-by-scene basis to delay a plot twist or revelation, such as Nathan’s discovery of Josh, bleeding in the back of the ambulance. All of Casualty’s core strengths were here, particularly the gruesome make-up and prosthetics work in evidence as the team struggled to save their friend’s life.

Sadly, some of the series’ flaws re-emerged too, most notably the need for Laura and her ex-husband to have a big, exposition-heavy showdown in the relatives’ room. But this came after the most horrid, shocking twist of all: after finding Laura and nearly succeeding in calming her down enough to return her sick daughter to the care of the ED, Ellen runs out — to be knocked over by a motorcycle courier. For the second time that day, the staff have to struggle to revive one of their own — and, tragically, this time they fail.

On being written out of a long-running drama, actors must surely dream of such an exit. Throughout the episode, with Ellen’s worries over the threat of cancer returning and the impact that would have on her fertility, to her struggles to cope with the frenetic environment of the department, to her one-to-one with Laura, Georgina Bourzova gave Ellen a tender stoicism that made her departure all the more poignant. Who would have thought when she arrived on the scene three years ago, as a stroppy, unhelpful temptress, that her loss would be felt so keenly?

The first category in our new awards is for Most Interesting TV Character.

Actors and actresses (and, to a lesser extent, the writers, directors, make-up artists, etc.) get recognition for their individual work, but it’s a testament to how well the creative team works as a whole when you get a portrayal that really jumps out of the screen at you.

Our shortlist for the award is:

• DCI Gene Hunt, Life on Mars (played by Philip Glenister)

  What could have been a stereotypical, Sweeney-esque policeman became so much more. An instinctive copper who plays from a very different rulebook than John Simm’s 21st Century detective, there’s an element of the Western sherrif in Gene Hunt. He may not always play fair, but there’s no doubt that he’s on the right side.

• DCI Jane Tennison, Prime Suspect - the Final Act (Helen Mirren)

  What more is there left to say? This year’s return of Jane Tennison — the last we’ll see of her — gave us a woman on the verge of losing it all. Her alcoholic blackouts, her struggles to deal with her dying father and the issues with her estranged sister, the threat of her impeding retirement: quite how she managed to solve a murder case at the same time is a marvel. She’ll be much missed.

• Ruth Evershed, Spooks (Nicola Walker)

  How quickly we forget, but Ruth joined the Grid in Series 2 as a double agent, spying on the spies. Not that she was very good at it — her moral compass was always very firmly aligned, and in the shady world of espionage that made her shine like a beacon. This year, her flirtatious relationship with her boss kept us on the edge of our seats just as much as did the action and intrigue of the main plotlines. With the character now officially dead, but last seen scurrying away on a garbage scow down the Thames, Spooks is all the lesser for her departure.

• Marian, Robin Hood (Lucy Griffiths)

  While Keith Allen is delivering a panto performance as the Sheriff, Richard Armitage is smouldering away in the corner, and Jonas Armstrong — well, the less said about him, the better — it’s Marian that is holding the BBC’s new version of Robin Hood together. With a nifty sideline as masked avenger the Night Watchman, and a complicated relationship with Guy of Gisborne, the storytelling comes alive when she’s on screen and away from the forest antics of the outlaws.

• Alison Mundy, Afterlife (Lesley Sharp)

  Derek Acorah she ain’t, thank goodness. A tortured, complex soul who sees dead people but wishes she didn’t, in Afterlife’s second (and final?) season, Alison also had to deal with family issues and the illness of her friend, Robert. Lesley Sharp’s portrayal of a woman whose grip on reality could occasionally be described as tenuous was amazing.

• Stan McDermott, The Street (Jim Broadbent)

  In a series where characters only had one episode in which to shine, despite popping up through the rest of the series, Jim Broadbent’s Stan stood out, as a man unable to come to terms with being made redundant just prior to retirement, and then finding his pension virtually worthless. A measured study in quiet desperation of the sort Broadbent can do like no other.

• Jackie Tyler, Doctor Who (Camille Coduri)

  When she first appeared as Rose’s mother, fans were in despair. “It’s EastEnders in space!” they cried. But they were wrong: Jackie was funny and entertaining, warm and maternal, flirtatious and still grieving her dead husband. Over the last two years, her character has fleshed out so much that, when Rose was left stranded with her entire family in an alternate universe at the end of the last series, we were not just mourning the departure of Billie Piper, but her whole family — and especially her mother. If the real EastEnders were to hire her, they’d be cannier than they have been in recent years.

• Jack, Sorted (Mark Womack)

  As the new recruit to the sorting office, it was no surprise that Jack was isolated from the other postmen in Danny Brocklehurst’s new weekday drama for BBC1. But there was an element of mystery about him, an element that he perpetuated by rebuffing any attempt to befriend him. Finally letting canteen worker Nancy (Nina Sosanya) close, the layers started unravelling and a warm-hearted, funny guy gradually started to emerge.

• Sir Mark Brydon, The State Within (Jason Isaacs)

  While it may have been too tensely plotted for some, too preposterous for others, it was Jason Isaacs’ British ambassador that drove the series forward, and kind of made us wish that our real diplomats and politicans were of the same calibre.

• Pierre Clément, Spiral (Grégory Fitoussi)

  BBC4’s CSI-style Parisian thriller was led by an upright prosecutor, struggling with an ex-wife, a growing attraction to the attractive female detective he was working with, and the fact that his best friend was potentially implicated in the same case. It’s hard for many actors to have a great presence when the audience are having to read his lines in subtitle form — but Clément’s presence on screen always demanded that you took your eyes away from the dialogue.

Got your own opinion? Think we’ve missed somebody? Take part in the TV Today Awards Survey, where you can vote on this and several other categories.

I still long for the days when there were only two TV listings magazines, and Christmas began on the night when my father would return home from working at the chocolate factory (no, really) on a frosty December evening clutching copies of the double issue Radio Times and TV Times. Christmas didn’t start until this moment of high anticipation, and was a real treat, seeing as we weren’t allowed either magazine for every other week of the year. It’s probably just my memory playing tricks, but as my brother and I sat there, ringing our most desired viewing choices with a red pen, I’m sure there was the delicious smell of mulled wine and tangerines in the air.

It’s down to this memory that my love of Christmas TV has never dissipated, and I still look forward to it with a childlike glee that makes the writing of this (belated) Square Eyes festive special a real pleasure.

Merry Christmas, and don’t forget to go and vote in the very first TV Today awards…

Christmas Eve

Girls Aloud: Loud and Lovely (1.05pm, C4)

Erm… just kidding!

Peter and the Wolf (4.30pm, C4)

One for the kids (although it’s a bit spooky, so mum may want to be on hand for some handholding) with this lovely stop-frame animation to celebrate the 70th anniversary of Prokoviev’s famous piece. Very evocative, very stylised, and all designed to get us in the mood for Santa’s arrival later on tonight.

EastEnders/Coronation Street (8.00/8.30pm, BBC1/ITV1)

As EastEnders serves Billy up with some more angst as little Petal undergoes surgery, Corrie gives us Les Battersby in a bath of peas. I know which one I’m watching…

Casualty (8.30pm, BBC1)

Oh, alright then. It’s the Casualty Christmas special, continuing last night’s opener, and you’ll be on the edge of your seat… probably. Josh, the longest serving paramedic in TV history (I wouldn’t have been surprised to see him pop in Casualty 1906 a couple of weeks back) has been stabbed, and this could be it! If Manimal can’t save him with all the medical skill at his disposal, we could be saying goodbye to one of the last remaining Holby ravens. Without Josh, that would leave Charlie as the last remaining original cast member, and if he ever left, I’m convinced Holby A+E would crumble to dust.

Christmas Day

Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride (7pm, BBC1) I’ll try not to get too gushing here, but it’ll be hard. At the end of the last series, Catherine Tate appeared in the TARDIS wearing a wedding dress, to much gnashing of teeth from the on-line hoards of Who fans. How dare this light entertainment hack sully the good name of their series!?! Well, this barnstorming piece of Christmas entertainment will not do much to sooth their fevered brows as the Doctor and runaway bride Donna take on the Empress of Racnoss (an unrecognisable Sarah Parish). The good news is, the rest of the audience will love it, so settle down with the family gathered around you for some fun, some scares, some laughs, and the craziest car chase you will ever lay on eyes on. Just wait and see…

Emmerdale (7pm, ITV1)

The other big soap death of the day sees the murder of Tom King on his wedding day to Rosemary. The list of suspects is as long as Jack Sugden’s frown, and this storyline will have legs well into the New Year. Whether the kids will let mum watch this with Doctor Who on the other side remains to be seen…

EastEnders (6.30/9pm, BBC1)

As always, ‘Enders pulls its biggest cracker of the year by saving the departure of Pauline Fowler for Christmas Day. Whatever ups and downs Albert Square has endured this year, both on and off-screen, this bowing out for the legendary mistress of the laundrette will be hard to resist for even the most hardened of EastEnders’ detractors. Will it be all smiles as Pauline packs to go and live with Michelle, or is there more hurt on the way courtesy of Sonia and Martin?

Doc Martin (9pm ITV1)

ITV seem to have thrown the towel in this year on the festive ratings battle, and while Doc Martin has some bums-on-seat clout behind it, this two-hour edition of the Martin Clunes comedy drama feels lack-lustre and devoid of any Christmas cheer. Shame really, as it’s usually a good laugh.

The Vicar of Dibley (9.30pm, BBC1)

The penultimate-ever episode of The Vicar of Dibley, with the last-ever to follow on New Year’s Day. No. Really. It is.

Boxing Day

Challenge Anneke (8pm, ITV1) Yes, you did read that right. Is there nothing that TV execs won’t exhume from the archives? This is a one-off special ahead of a new series in 2007. Anneke’s back, and she’s here to stay.

After Thomas (9pm, ITV1)

Oh, at least there’s some snow in this, bringing some sense of Christmas to the ITV schedules. Keeley Hawes and Ben Miles play the parents of the severely autistic Kyle. The strain on bringing him up is crippling, but then Thomas, a golden retriever dog, comes bounding into their lives, and everything changes. Heartwarming – even more so considering the script is based on real-life events.

Faking It (9pm, C4)

Faking it departs from the schedules with this often moving piece about the body-conscious Sharon Pallister, a cleaner from Wales. She has taken on the task of becoming a sexy burlesque dancer, which is an emotional prospect as it will mean showing the scar on her tummy that forces her to face up to her past. Will she able to convince, swapping a smock for a basque?

As most of you will know the Christmas edition of The Stage boasts a front cover pic of the rather lovely and very talented William Young.

Now I know that a lot of you have been scrambling around to get a copy - but brave the crowds and get down to WH Smiths because they are in demand.

I’ve had a lot of emails from readers wanting to know a bit more about what the canny performer is doing with the BBC in the Congo… so as a Christmas treat I’ll let you in on the secret…

He is making a show for those factual folk at the beeb about saving the planet. The star took a break from his madcap schedule to track gorillas in war-torn Congo in Africa.

He is filmed following the beasts in the heat of the jungle as part of a two week season looking at endangered animals called Saving Planet Earth.

In the interview with The Stage Young said: “It was amazing, we got pretty close but I tell you they are massive. I mean really huge.”

He also revealed that he had a passion for conservation - and in the unlikely event that all the phones from record producers and theatre directors stopped ringing, he revealed that he might make the move to be an eco-warrior.

The BBC series is hosted by David Attenborough and Alan Titchmarsh running over two weeks in summer 2007. The aim is to try and raise awareness about how human behaviour is driving some creatures to the brink of extinction.

There will be previously unseen footage from BBC1 blockbuster Planet Earth and celebrities including Brian Blessed, Toyah Willcox, and ex-SAS man Chris Ryan talking about the plight of endangered animals. Tigers, sharks and rhinos are all running out of time.

The series is set to end with a live fund-raising event to raise cash for UK conservation charities.

Attenborough said: “”Some scientists suggest that up to a quarter of animal species could be extinct by 2050. But it’s not too late - you can be involved in Saving Planet Earth.

“If you are a child, this is your future. If you’re a parent, it’s your legacy. The time to act is now.”

What better way to end the year, than with a celebratory award or two? Welcome to the TV Today Awards, for which voting is now open.

Here at TV Today, we’ve come up with shortlists in five categories, and we’ll be going through our thinking in posts over the next week. But the winners in each category will be decided by public vote — which is where you come in.

Just go to http://www.thestage.co.uk/tvtoday/awards and select your favoured winner in each of our categories:

• Most Interesting TV Character
• Most Underrated Show
• Most Entertaining Celebrity Talent Show Loser
• Greatest Hope for 2007
• Most Ill-Advised Programme

And finally, we’re looking for nominees for the Unsung Hero of the Year — someone who works in television, on either side of the camera, who you think deserves more praise. No shortlist, no voting — we’ll print a selection of your nominations on the blog, and then we’ll pick an overall winner.

So what are you waiting for? Get voting!

The Christmas issue of The Stage should be hitting your newsagents today. As well an exclusive interview with the UK’s most successful TV reality show winner, Will Young, other televisual and radiophonic delights include regular columnist Maggie Brown on some of BBC management’s biggest mistakes; Liz Thomas looks back at the year in broadcasting news; Nick Smuthwaite reviews a year of radio output, while I have the job of condensing 12 months of quality television into a space that’s smaller than the venue for the Jimmy Carr fan club Christmas party (it’s a queer old lark, writing for print).

Not everything’s backward-looking, though: we have previews of the best Christmas TV and radio, as well as details of how you can see real, live Stage contributors on television over the festive period. And yes, that includes myself again. Sorry, this post is turning out to be a little more self-indulgent than I’d intended… Oh well; I’ll let the regular TV Today audience know about it nearer the time; wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise!

We also have some great offers to see fringe theatre in London for half price up until this time next week, as well as the chance to win tickets to see Henry “Happy Days/Arrested Development/Out of Practice” Winkler in panto, or the chance to get your own original Hamlet cartoon, signed by cartoonist (and Stage TV reviewer) Harry Venning. And just for Christmas, there are some fun quizzes and stuff, too.

Meanwhile, here on the website here’s a breakdown of what we’ve been reporting on in the past week:

• Lloyd Webber wishes Ian success with reality talent search
• Lloyd Webber and Ian go head to head with reality TV shows
• Sky One’s Prisoner remake to air in 2008
• BBC Worldwide appoints talent payment director
• Dawn French set to make opera debut
• BBC governors - ‘Salford move is good value’
• Sister Wendy to be subject of stage musical
• BBC3 unveils winter comedy line-up

While here on TV Today:

• Strictly sighting
• It’s murder in Soapland
• Go, Go, Go, Joseph - but Grease is the word
• Swings and roundabouts
• Just one little thing…
• Square Eyes 18-22 December
• BBC service licences: a rundown
• Square Eyes 16-17 December
• Opsoks?
• A very Ambridge wedding

Tomorrow’s going to be our last ‘regular’ blogging day until after Christmas, although we’ve got some surprises up our sleeves to keep you entertained and amused over the long holiday weekend! Stay tuned — and prepare your voting fingers, that’s all I’m saying…

Staggering into the local greasy this morning to pick up my usual marmite toast (granary, naturally) and coffee, who should I find myself standing next to but Strictly Come Dancing finalist Matt Dawson.

Before I could wrestle him to the ground and demand to know why he had taken my beloved Emma Bunton’s place in Saturday’s much-anticipated final, the nice man behind the counter asked him how it was going.

“Knackered,” was his succinct reply, and to be fair, he looks like he’s been working his little cotton rugby socks off in preparation for Saturday.

The final of Strictly Come Dancing is on Saturday at 5.40pm on BBC1. Good luck to all!

Christmas came early at TV Today towers when a very exciting gift arrived from the windswept Yorkshire Dales – Emmerdale Cluedo. Brilliant!

To spice up the buzz about the impending Christmas Day offing of Tom King (played by soap legend Ken Farrington – he was Billy Walker in Corrie), the Emmerdale press office has sent out an Emmerdale branded set of Cluedo. To be fair, it’s just a standard box of Cluedo with a sticker on the front, detailing the suspects in the soap murder of the year, but it’s a nice touch. It’s definitely better than the bottle of brown sauce that EastEnders sent out to mark the arrival of the Miller family in Walford (I daren’t look at the sell-by-date, but it’s still sitting on the shelf above my desk, Keith Miller staring back at me).

Emmerdale is certainly pulling out all the stops for the death of Tom King and the subsequent search for his killer. Viewers can go interactive and help catch the killer by logging on to a special Emmerdale mini-site devoted to the investigation, where weekly rewards can be played for. It has a fun air, typifying Emmerdale’s overall tone when compared to some of its more po-faced competitors. And, even better, the investigation will be headed up by DCI Grace Barraclough, played by one of my first TV crushes, Glynis Barber!

But with yet another soap wedding set for the 25th, it does make me wonder why soap characters frequently insist on getting married on Christmas Day. In recent years we’ve had Kat and Alfie, Little Mo and Billy, and now a Family Affairs refugee and Tara King off of The Avengers.

It’s one of the most stressful parts of year at the best times, so why on earth would anybody want to compound that by getting married at the same time? It’s madness, not to mention incredibly selfish of the bride and groom towards their potential guests. It’s hard enough to please your family and friends over the festive period without having to think about weddings as well. Some people are just greedy.

Emmerdale is on Christmas Day at 7pm on ITV1.

It looks like it’s going to songsheets at dawn, as both the BBC and ITV decide that they want in on the next phase of musical theatre based reality shows.

The BBC were first off the mark, slipping out a press release yesterday evening announcing Any Dream Will Do, a Saturday night spectacle reuniting Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber. As well as casting the male lead, they’ll be looking for a Pharaoh/Elvis impersonator, female lead (Pharaoh’s wife?) and a school choir. This will culminate in a production of Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in the West End next year. Over at our companion blog, Mark Shenton wonders whether Joseph ought to be returning so soon. Myself, I wonder whether the hunt for so many stars is mainly to cover up the fact that, actually, Joseph isn’t really inspiring enough to concentrate on a solo quest.

Of course, the immediate successor to How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? was a sale of the format by BBC Worldwide to the US market, who are about to launch You’re The Ones That We Want with Maria judge David Ian on a quest to find the ideal Danny and Sandy for a Broadway production of Grease.

Now, curiously, ITV has revealed to Broadcast (subscription required) that it has commissioned You’re The One That I Want from Talkback Thames and Simon Cowell’s indie, Syco.

It’ll be interesting to see how Cowell adapts the format to avoid a difficult and potentially embarrassing lawsuit of the type that he settled with Simon Fuller over X Factor/Pop Idol similarities.

But potentially more interesting is another big clash in the offing. ALW’s fellow judge on Maria, theatrical impresario David Ian, is conspicuous by his absence from the BBC press release. Ian will be jetting off to America to help judge their Grease-based talent show — and, as The Stage can reveal, will be working on the UK show as well.

Of course, next week sees the pair face off anyway, as this year’s Stage 100 is announced. Our annual list of the most influential people in UK theatre saw Lord Lloyd-Webber toppled in 2006, falling to third place behind Cameron Mackintosh (2nd) and a silver-haired young upstart bounding straight in to the number 1 spot. His name? David Ian.

Who will win the coveted title this year? You’ll just have to wait until next week’s print edition of The Stage to find out…

It’s one of those funny days for ITV where there are ups and downs, the kind of day that has typified 2006 overall for the troubled (are we still allowed to call them that?) commercial channel.

After the huge ratings success of The X Factor 2006, Simon Cowell has secured a new, three-year contract to stay with the channel until the close of 2009. Not that TV Today would ever bandy around unconfirmed reports of salaries (ahem), but this deal is reported to be worth around £20 million, which would knock Jonathan Ross into second place as the highest paid TV personality.

This is on the same day that ITV also announces that its earnings from ad revenues has fallen by 12.5% overall, although earnings from the company’s digital channels have been better than expected.

The question to pose here, at a time when ITV is still a bit wobbly (but the prognosis is positive), should it be splashing £20 million on talent when revenues are still down?

Probably – The X Factor’s individual ad revenues must be pretty damn healthy, and unless something goes horribly awry, another three series of The X Factor will guarantee a nice audience share spike come the end of each year. In that respect, Cowell is worth every penny.

But one wonders why ITV never receives flack from the press for paying huge sums to secure an individual’s services, when the BBC gets into hot water every time it does what it has to keep hold of its on-screen personnel. I don’t buy that it’s a public service versus commercial sector kind of argument. Ultimately as viewers and consumers of BBC and ITV product, we all pay somewhere along the line, whether as a licence fee or in the prices we pay on the high street for the advertised products.

I’m not going to get into the debate of whether Cowell or Jonathan Ross are worth what they get paid, but it’s time the accusatory finger started pointing in all directions when the wallets are opened.

I’m sure you’re all sick of The X Factor but this is one for those who saw some of the final over the weekend. You know the bit when all the freaks from the early weeks came back to wail like banshees and generally be poked fun at… How much did that look like a spoof of Thriller?

Ps… I hear that lego-man Ray is being lined up for an ITV kids’ show. That’s not a bad call, what say you folk out there?

EastEnders/Coronation Street (Monday to Friday, BBC1/ITV1, times vary)
And it’s heads down as the two big soaps make that dash through the final week before Christmas…

In Albert Square, Pauline Fowler is trying to keep a lid on her deceitful ways and stop it getting out that she doesn’t have a brain tumour. Pity Peggy Mitchell has just found out the evil truth. Prepare for some slap-happy times in The Queen Vic. And Billy, for god’s sake, cheer up will you? Your life has been terrible for like, ever. You’d think you’d be used to it by now – it is Christmas, after all…

And Frankie Baldwin’s worst fears escalate when the cops call her in to identify a body. Did Danny really take a dive off the viaduct, and is Jamie not as white as the driven snow? And things aren’t going to get any better for the couple when Danny’s mum turns up and accuses them both of having her loving son bumped off. As Ena Sharples would have said, whatever’s to do?

Losing Gemma (Monday 9pm, ITV1)
As pre-Chrimbo drama goes, this is about all you’re likely to get. Alice (daughter of Trevor) Eve stars as Esther, who heads off to Goa with Gemma, as unlikely a travelling companion as you’ll find. Not surprisingly, considering the title, Gemma goes missing, and that’s when everything turns bizarre for Esther. Worth watching to see if Jonas Armstrong, who pops up in a supporting role, has actually gorrit away from the Lincoln green.

Rick Stein and the Japanese Ambassador (Tuesday 8pm, BBC2)
Rick Stein, god of the undersea food world (and a lot more besides) steps outside his comfort zone to accept a challenge from the Japanese ambassador to Great Britain – cook a banquet for some very special guests. One slight problem – Stein has never visited Japan, and although he loves a bit of sushi, have never attempted preparing this most marmitey of foods. Off Rick pops to Japan to take on his biggest challenge ever, before returning to do battle in the kitchen.

The Worst Christmas of My Life (Tuesday 9.30pm, BBC1)
Oh bliss! Ben Miller returns in this most wicked of sitcoms that actually has the benefit of being quite funny (a rarity in today’s climate). If you don’t know the form, Miller is Howard Steel, who just can’t help getting into embarrassing scrapes with his in-laws. This seasonal three-parter (continuing on Thursday and Friday) is no exception, full of the same slapstick and cringe inducing moments that will make you wince for poor Howard. Good fun.

Bad Girls: a Christmas Special (Wednesday 9pm, ITV1) (pictured)
A sad day – Bad Girls finally gets paroled and goes straight, never to grace our screens again. This Christmas special is a bit barmy, and possibly not the way producers Shed would have liked to go out. Still, there’s lot to enjoy, especially the decomposing body of Natalie Buxton rotting away down in the drains. Fare ye well, girls of Larkhall. Don’t stay away too long.

Father Ted (Thursday 10.30pm, C4)
Repeats are never a problem when they are this good, and A Very Christmasy Ted is sitcom royalty. For my money, nothing can beat the sequence showing Ted leading a group of priests out of a department store lingerie section (it’s the largest in Ireland, so I’m told). The campaign to have this shown every year starts here.

Fanny Cradock Cooks for Christmas (Friday 8pm, BBC4)
Forget the slick shenanigans of Nigella, this is what it’s all about, a bite-size chunk of the marvellous Fanny Cradock, cooking up a storm with mincemeat. She stuffs, she rolls, she bakes and stuffs some more in a vintage festive special from 1975. There are more daily updates from the legendary cook throughout the festive season.

Number 13 (Friday 10.30pm, BBC4)
A spine-tingling return for a one-time Christmas tradition – an M.R. James ghost story for Christmas. Greg Wise plays an academic deep in some research in a cathedral town. But why is his sleep being disturbed by strange noises from room number 13? You may wonder… Nicely creepy in a very cosy kind of way and a perfect aperitif to ease us into Christmas weekend.

The now-Gradeless BBC Trust, the regulatory body that will replace the current board of Governors, doesn’t even take over until Juanuary and already it’s creating paperwork. Today, they have relased the first drafts of a series of Service Licences for each channel. The idea is that each TV, radio or online channel that the BBC currently operates will have its own document giving an overall idea of the channel’s aims and objectives. Any future changes will be subject to a formal review process, to ensure that the changes stick to the BBC’s public service ethos.

You can read any, or all, of the BBC’s TV-related service licences from the BBC Trust website. Reading them side-by-side gives a clue as to how the BBC views the differences between its four main channels, which isn’t always obvious from watching them:

• All channels are briefed to “exhibit some or all of the following characteristics: high quality, original, challenging, innovative and engaging, and [nurturing] UK talent.”

• BBC 1 should “deliver its remit through high quality programmes with wide appeal across all genres”. It should also “be the BBC’s main platform for television drama and, especially in peaktime, drama should be one of the biggest creators of BBC’s One’s impact with its audience.”

• BBC 2 should “deliver its remit with factual programming that broadens horizons.”. Its comedy output “should offer established talent the opportunity to experiment and its drama should be characterised by strong authorship and individual voices.”

• BBC 3 should broadcast “a high proportion of original UK-produced content across a range of genres, and by taking creative risks and experimenting with new talent and new ideas, in particular in the area of UK comedy.” It should work to increase the appeal of BBC1 and BBC2 with younger audiences, with complementary content. None of its commitments should be allowed to get in the away of BBC1 and BBC2 to appeal to young people, and any of its programmes should be made available to the major channels to enhance their appeal.

• BBC 4 should offer “a broad range of culturally enriching and innovative programming”, with an emphasis on global news and current affairs. It should also “offer a significant proportion of originally commissioned, UK originated programming, nurture new presenting talent and experiment with new comedy.”

Some additional conditions for each channel, after the jump.

One Man and His Dog (Saturday 6.10pm, BBC2)
Ben Fogle and Shauna Lowry present the first of two special programmes of this much-missed, little-watched TV legend. It’s a very soothing way to spend 40 minutes and marvel at the real skill that goes into the bond between master and animal. There’s certainly more sporting satisfaction in this charming contest than there is going on in The Ashes at the moment.

The X Factor – the Final (Saturday 7pm, ITV1)
Oh thank God! It’s over for another year. In previous years I have lapped up The X Factor like no tomorrow, but this year the whole shebang has passed me by. And that’s probably my loss as the bits I have caught clearly show it’s still as fun and frothy as it ever was. I guess I’ve got bored of the contrived banter between the judges as opposed to the focus on talent. Good luck to Ray and Leona, it’ll be a great for you!

The Culture Show (Saturday 7.50pm, BBC2)
The final edition of this series will reveal the result of the search to find Britain’s greatest living icon, and the final battle is down to three diverse choices. Will it be Paul McCartney, Morrissey or Alan Bennett taking the honour thanks to votes cast by viewers? All are worthy contenders, but my hope is for Mr Bennett. There will also be a look back over the past year as covered by the show.

Ghosthunting with Girls Aloud (Saturday 11.30pm, ITV2)
For those who missed it, catch this timely repeat of the biggest television event of the year. And that’s said with no sense of irony…

Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather (Sunday 8pm, Sky One)
This is quite a major undertaking for Sky, tackling the first bona fide live-action adaptation of one of Terry Pratchett’s fizzy, fun Discworld books. On the Discworld, the Hogfather has gone missing on the eve before Hogswatch, leading to Death (he’s a ubiquitously fabulous part of the whole Discsworld experience and voiced to perfection by Ian Richardson) decides to take on the task himself. It’s all fabulously Christmasy with a faux Dickensian bent to proceedings. It’s also odd to see David Jason out of his comfort zone as Death’s man servant, Albert. This is by no means perfect, but as a first attempt at bringing the Discworld to the screen, it’s commendable.

Born Equal (Sunday 9pm, BBC1)
If you want to keep the Christmasy spirit going in your house, it’s probably best to avoid Born Equal from the pen of Dominic Savage. If you do stay clear, you’re missing a powerful (if a little preachy) drama on the inequalities present in the social justice of our country. Colin Firth, Anne-Marie Duff David Oyelowo and Robert Carlyle head up a top cast in a story of disparate individuals in the same neighbourhood. It’s violent, it’s brutal, and the stories will pierce your heart and your mind. It’s tough going, and will make you uncomfortable, but see where it takes you.

Driving Lessons (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)
Okay, we’re treading carefully here, but finally Driving Lessons comes to our television screens, ushered in bizarrely the week before Christmas when it has Boxing day crowd pleaser written all over it. The superbly brilliant and multi-talented phenomenon Rupert Grint plays a teenager who strikes up a friendship with a dotty old actress (Julie Walters) and learns about the world, away from the piercing gaze of his mother. It’s ever so slightly twee, and that’s probably the point, but Walters and Grint are highly amiable company throughout writer Jeremy Brock’s directorial debut.

So, in the week that BBC3 loses first run rights to Torchwood, the Freeview channel is developing another spin-off for 2007… Rogue Spooks will be an offshoot from the popular MI5 (not 9 to 5, cos that starred Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton, obviously) and is being ushered into existence by independent producer Kudos and writer David Wolstencroft.

According to BBC3 controller Julian Bellamy at this morning’s BBC3 winter/spring schedule launch, the series will follow the exploits of a young team of MI5 recruits who, according to Bellamy:

“play by a different set of rules”

Well, with that exciting thumbnail, we hope they play by a different set of clichés while they’re about it.

And as for that moniker… Rogue Spooks is said to be a working title, and TV Today fervently hopes this is the case. And as Torchwood is an anagram of parent show Doctor Who, surely BBC3 has set a precedent here, and the more correct title for the new show would be Opsoks?

We love Spooks, as you know, but we await the arrival of this different rule book with cautious interest…

It’s a momentous day for equality here in the UK. For a year now, gay couples have been able to publicly declare their lifelong commitment to one another in marriage — albeit under the name ‘civil partnership’. Over 15,700 couples — far more than initial government estimates — have already taken advantage of the change in the law. But there is one couple who, above all others (yes, even above Elton and David) show just how much this change in the law has become part of British culture. Yes, tonight, we will witness the first soap opera civil partnership, as Adam and Ian tie the knot in The Archers.

The Radio 4 soap, always pretty solid in the ratings, has been getting a major boost recently. Online listening has been going through the roof: the latest figures available, for October of this year, show that the show was listened to nearly a million times. Part of the appeal has to be the slow burn of plotlines; where TV soaps seem to live in a world where everything happens five times faster than real life, the progression of events in Ambridge seems to parallel our own much more closely (for example, compare how The Archers is dealing with Jack Wooley’s progressing Alzheimer’s, in contrast to Coronation Street’s treatment of the same subject matter with Mike Baldwin).

The burgeoning relationship between Adam and Ian has similarly been developing at a natural pace. The couple shared their first kiss with the nation in March 2004, when Adam showed Ian his polytunnels (it’s an agricultural thing, apparently, and sadly nowhere near as rude as it sounds). Indeed, their whole relationship has been much more romantically presented than similar straight couplings, something confirmed by Archers scriptwriter Mary Cutler in a great piece in today’s Guardian:

I wrote the gay kiss and, in a funny way, you can write better romances for gay characters now than you can for heterosexual ones. There are so many issues with heterosexuals, and there’s such a danger of its sounding Mills & Boony. Whereas that was so charming, a kiss by moonlight. It’s quite old-fashioned.

Reaction to Adam and Ian’s forthcoming nuptials have been fairly muted — unsurprisingly, though, Stephen Green of minority sect Christian Voice has, predictably, been foaming at the mouth about it all. Indeed, more Archers fans seem more upset about the prospect of being shown what the characters look like. A forthcoming Arena documentary on the show (showing on BBC4 on New Year’s Day), mindful of the ire that arises when showing the actors, will preface the brief glimpses of in-vision characters with an on-screen warning to “look away now”. For some people, Ambridge life is very, very real — and the presentation of photographs that contradict their own internal picturescape is something to be resisted.

For those people, then, they should perhaps avoid the Guardian piece, where Patricia Greene (Jill Archer) describes the series as “something insubstantial”:

I have to say, I thought the wedding of the gays in a small village like Ambridge was perhaps a little … The fact that we didn’t all open our mouths in astonishment … We just took it as you would in London! We all took it very calmly. But then, we’re talking about something insubstantial. It’s an imagined place, peopled by imagined characters who don’t speak for themselves; they speak the lines that the writers have written.

Sacrilege!

It’s been said to us here at TV Today that we perhaps don’t cover one of the nation’s favourite pastimes – soap operas – as much as we could. This is of course incredibly remiss, seeing as this dark art of television forms the backbone of British drama output, occupying more space in the tabloids than Pete Doherty after a big night out.

This we fully intend to rectify in the New Year and hope to bring more detailed coverage from our Soapland correspondents on a regular basis.

It’s easy to dismiss the soaps as unimportant, as cultural fluff that nobody takes seriously. Their ubiquitous position in the schedules has bred a curious form of contempt, giving simple excuse not to take them seriously. But still, 9 million people will tune in to every episode of both Coronation Street and EastEnders, often amounting to 40 percent of the total viewing audience. Emmerdale is rarely far behind, and even the likes of Hollyoaks, Neighbours and Home and Away have their faithful to keep them as a going concern for broadcasters. And don’t get me started on The Archers, I’ll never stop!

Without the soaps (yes, including EastEnders, which has weathered a very tough year), British television would be a poorer place. They are the training ground for future stars, future writers, and future directors.

Come Christmas Day, I’ll be happy settling down with a glass of sherry and mince pie in front of the Christmas Corrie, my family alongside. For better or worse, soaps are the cultural heritage of our television industry, and we should be proud of that fact.

Radio 2 had its very charming Christmas drinks today and as I strolled in, there in a rather intimate tete-a-tete were Terry Wogan and Russell Brand. Of course Brand’s “tete” was significantly more dramatic than Wogan’s - you can imagine the picture - but there was something quite nice about seeing the stand-up comedian in slightly more humble mode.

In fact, it seems the big-haired one was asking the esteemed Mr Wogan for tips - or at least picking his brain on the subtleties of radio. Later I quizzed the popular Irishman about what Brand could have been discussing with him in such earnest.

“Well”, Wogan twinkled, ” He was asking me for tips… on how to pick up the ladies.”

I promptly choked on my drink due to the strange mental pictures the comment conjured, it took a moment to shake them.

Then slightly more seriously he added “Russell doesn’t have to ask me for tips. He’s doing great - I’m a big fan. He really is a great talent and you know what? I think he is just going to get better and better. I think he’s got great style and is a real individual - you need that to succeed.”

When quizzed on whether Brand was right for Radio 2, wise Wogan stroked his beard [ok he didn’t] and pointed to the outcry when Steve Wright and Chris Evans took to the station’s airwaves. He added:

“Radio 2 has a duty to take risks. The thing about radio is that it is a slow burn, whereas TV is a quick fix. Radio has the ability to get inside your head, whereas television is more superficial.”

The Children in Need and Eurovision favourite, who is fronting a show on Christmas Day featuring Gordon Ramsay, admitted that he did not watch television over the festive period.

“Christmas for me is about eating and drinking and being with family. I don’t watch much television and I don’t play games either. I don’t want to play board games - like Monopoly or something. I wouldn’t mind playing Poker. My wife did suggest that we could play Bridge but I think that is just one step away from having a mobile commode.”