April 2007 Archives

Taggart (Monday 9pm, ITV1)

This episode of Taggart gets onto the Square Eyes roster for the virtue that it’s actually a new episode, which is, on the whole, quite novel. It seems this most venerable of cop shows has been in repeat hell for the last five years, but it’s good to see Alex Norton, back from filming Pirates of the Caribbean. Here DCI Burke and the Taggart regulars investigate the death of an activist where the blame is very firmly placed on a property developer. Good, honest crime drama.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

A frothy tale from the aged detectives who investigate the death of a cat-lover who appears to have been left as dinner for her feline charges. Was she murdered? Probably, and the suspects include her neighbour (a lovely guest-spot from the legendary Eric Sykes) and David Bamber’s camp cat- lover. Always a pleasure…

Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive (Monday 10.30pm, BBC3)

It might be a poor man’s Larry Sanders, but that’s no bad thing, and this fake game show with Rob Brydon playing, erm… Rob Brydon, has a little bit more underneath than that very simple thumbnail description. It’s an acquired taste, as we have to buy into the backstage antics of the celebrities and accept that Brydon might be a nasty git, but I quite like the nonsense that is the panel quiz that successfully apes some of the nonsense panel games we are subjected to for real.

Heroes (Monday 10pm, Sci-Fi)

Oh look! It’s Doctor Who (the other one who didn’t stick around). Leather jacket not included.

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (Tuesday 9pm, Five)

Grissom is back. And so is the beard. Now he looks like one of the orang-utans in Planet of the Apes. Boyd off of Waking the Dead must be confused now – beard or no beard for the new series?

Battlestar Galactica (Tuesday 9pm, Sky One)

Ooh, it’s season finale time, and this one is a belter. The trial of Gaius Baltar get underway, giving plenty of opportunity for the writers to show off their mastery of the rapier dialogue that has become a trademark of this great show. With it being BG and a season finale at that, expect a huge grenade to be thrown into the middle of the series to blow things apart and send everybody in a new direction for season four. Why hasn’t this made it to prime time BBC1? Or prime time anywhere for that matter? It’s just too damn good!

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

The knives were well and truly out last week, and the ruthless hearts beating underneath the smiley face of The Apprentice are now showing themselves. This week, the teams are ordered to jump on a ferry to sell British food in a French market. The potential for cock ups of the highest order are rife here to make this one of the most entertaining episodes yet. It’s giving me warm fuzzies!

Who Killed Mrs De Ropp? (Wednesday 9pm, BBC4)

A cracking entry into the drama stakes of BBC4’s brilliant Edwardian season. Gemma Jones takes the title role in three adaptations of quirky, often macabre short stories by Edwardian writer Saki. As the domineering guardian of a group of children, Jones is rather marvellous (as you’d expect) as her young charges attempt to outfox and outwit her using their fertile imaginations. Also features Ben Daniels as Saki himself.

Hustle (Thursday 9pm, BBC1)

A fourth series for a solid BBC ratings winner sees the team of con artists minus Adrian Lester’s Mickey, pushing Marc Warren into point position. There’s also a change of scenery to compensate for Lester’s departure, and the gang head to the sunny climes of LA for some transatlantic grifting. As if the production values and great cast (although I could do without Jaime Murray) weren’t enough to keep most people satisfied, a top-drawer guest spot from Robert Wagner is the icing on the cake.

The Last Detective (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

Peter Davison returns to one of his most satisfying roles of recent years, the plodding, dogged and thoroughly likeable DC “Dangerous” Davies. When an old-style gangster is murdered on his release from prison, Davies is on the case in his usual sedate manner. Did Jimmy the Gent’s vow to publish his memoirs bring him to this sorry state? Only Davies can find out. And as this is a Peter Davison drama series, it features a ubiquitous guest role for his daughter, Georgia.

Is it a coincidence, I wonder, that as ITV1’s Grease is the Word produces its first live show, here on BBC1 we are to see two wannabe Josephs depart — and, as trailed on the website well beforehand, all ten of tonight’s contestants in nothing but loincoths?

After a quick recap of last week (and hopefully the last shot of Johndeep sobbing), Andrew Lloyd Webber says that he was shocked by how unprepared the contestants were for the task he gave them on Wednesday. They’d better shape up, they’d better understand… oh, sorry, wrong show.

This week is all about showmanship and stage presence — not too different from last week’s ‘acting the song’, but then all aspects of being a good musical theatre artist are all closely related.

First up is Seamus, the 35-year-old who’s bored by all the references to his age. And then namechecks Shakin’ Stevens in a move that will have his younger fans scratching their heads saying, “Who?”. As with previous weeks, his performance of Start Me Up can’t really be faulted in the technical aspects of his vocal, but I do find it hard to warm to him either offstage or on. Bill says he’s starting to ‘get’ what Seamus is about, while Denise thinks there’s something special about him. Andrew, though, suggests that if he’s thirty-five and not yet a star, it does beg the question, “why?” Which is a fair question in one way, but then Any Dream Will Do is all about finding talent that conventional casting misses.

Next, Lewis, singing I Saw Her Standing There. In contrast to previous weeks, where the judges lamented that he wasn’t dancing as much as they know he could, this is a highly choreographed song — but what is wrong with his legs? Denise describes him as having knees that bend like a tarantula, which is quite true. Bill thinks he has great talent, and Andrew just tells him to remember the importance of the lyrics (there’s no ‘and’ before ‘you know what I mean’).

Rob copes well with a rendition of Pretty Woman, although I must admit that I’m tiring of his cheesy grins and winks to camera all the time. As I noted last week, there’s a very different style to performance on television compared to the stage. Right now, I think Rob is far more tuned in to the former; that may be related to his inexperience. John thinks that his confidence is clearly visible, although the raw talent might not be there; Zoe, meanwhile, wishes that the other finalists’ singing had progressed as quickly. Andrew commends him for being able to take notes.

But, oh, Antony! I know you were straddled with Patience, a typically saccharine Gary Barlow ballad, but you really let it get away from you, didn’t you? The tuning was all over the place once the falsetto elements started — up until then, it was shaping up to be a passable MT version of a horrible song. As John rightly said, he looks great, but the vocal was awful. Muted booing from the crowd, and you realise that there’s a consensus on that one. Andrew says that he worries whether Antony would be capable of eight shows a week. Again, fair comment — except that, thankfully, Gary Barlow doesn’t write musicals…

The next couple up, Chris and Ben, have both been saved by the Lord in the sing-offs. Chris is first up, and gives a vocal performance that does nothing for me. There’s very little spark in it — possibly because, as John points out, he’s been ill this week. However, the judges can’t agree on his performance, with Bill thinking he tried too hard, but John saying he didn’t give enough.

Ben’s performance of Life is a Rollercoaster is a complete contrast. Maybe the use of a mic stand helps by limiting his stage movement, but both physically and vocally he gives a restrained, polished performance. A completely superior performance to the last two weeks, as the judges acknowledge.

And now we have the professionals — and notice that, both in their intros and what they’re allowed to say about themselves, both Daniel and Lee are allowed to emphasise their experience, rather than the conceit of pretending they’re escaping from down-at-heel part time jobs. Daniel gets a better choice of song this week, The Lady is a Tramp. It’s fun and exuberant, which helps him elide over a few bars which could possibly have been a little closer to the original key. It’s one of those things that probably doesn’t pick up in the studio, though, as Denise, Bill and Andrew all loved it wholeheartedly.

Again Lee’s performance is a complete contrast — a slow, buttoned down and controlled version of I Don’t Want To Talk About It that is the performance of the evening, in my view. For the second week, he’s really able to act as he sings. I can’t help thinking that I’d like Daniel to be given the same opportunity and see if he can cope without his grin and raised eyebrows… Anyway, Lee also gets approvals across the board. My money’s still on Daniel — I think he fits the role of Joseph better — but I wouldn’t be surprised if the final is between these two.

Next up, Keith shows us how to Crocodile Rock. And to be honest, his movement is, um, a little odd. I don’t see a stage dancer, I see an X Factor contestant who can sing well but hopes to get by without too much choreography. That said, Denise’s comment — that they’re auditioning for Joseph, not Billy Elliott — is, again, fair.

Closing this part of the show, Craig gives a performance of Signed, Sealed, Delivered that starts off stilted and uncomfortable, and gradually loosens up. As a pop performance, it was generally okay, although it all felt a bit forced. Andrew notes that Craig still retains some of his cabaret mannerisms.

Just prior to the vote announcement, the judges predict who should be Joseph — the first time in the live runs they’ve been asked this. Zoe plumps for Keith, Bill for Lee, while both John and Denise choose Daniel.

Next comes the sing-off, and it’s Craig and Antony threatened with the chop. Singing Bryan Adams’ Everything I Do, Antony again struggles with tuning. But he does at least have a character to his voice, which by comparison makes Craig’s seem weedy and slightly nasal.

It’s a tough choice for Andrew Lloyd Webber, but ultimately he’s right to send Antony home. Our third farewell Close Every Door is another great calling card for our departing star — I’m sure this won’t be the last we see of Antony Hansen…

In the evening’s second live show, we’re treated to the sight of a 1980s Zoe Tyler, and a VT of a daytrip to meet the cast of We Will Rock You. Just before the lines close again, a group version of Queen’s One Vision is so-so, although Ben impresses me again.

And then we’re on to the loincloths. None of the boys look bad without their clothes — one or two look very good indeed, although I think I’d better keep my opinions to myself on that score. However, it’s noticeable that as they have to sing in front of Andrew, Denise and their mothers, Keith, Lewis, Seamus and Chris all mess up what are, admittedly, quite simple lyrics.

But it’s time for the meat of the show, as the second vote of the evening concludes. Seamus, Craig and Ben are the final three left standing, but it’s Craig who snatches the last guaranteed place. Boy, he must have got a lot of sympathy phone votes after his sing-off earlier.

And so it’s down to Ben and, with the lowest number of phone votes, Seamus. After Lloyd Webber stressing that he wants to see a great acting performance in the sing-off, Seamus does what he always does — a technically accomplished vocal with very little else to back it up. In contrast, Ben knocks it out of the park, with a performance that ticks all the right boxes.

So in the end, it’s no surprise that Ben is saved by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Except, maybe, to Seamus, who half-jokingly suggests a ‘conspiracy theory’, and then elects to leave an impression of utter arrogance on the memories of the viewing public by changing the words of his farewell song. “A show of my own?” Only if we changed the name of the show to “Any pipedream will do…”

Oh deary deary me - what a supreme balls up.

It’s only the first week of Grease is the Word’s live shows and already Joe Public has managed to boot off one of the strongest couples.

Poor David Ian - it seems it never crossed anybody’s mind that ITV viewers might prove more fallible in the hunt for theatre talent than their BBC counterparts, as the judges’ panicked scrabbling about at the end of the show seemed to indicate.

But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. This week’s edition of Grease is the Word was the first time the couples (yes they’ve now been paired up) got to move out of the audition room and into the studio, in front of a live audience.

Firstly, I think it’s worth saying that the standard of performances has improved quite incredibly since the last show. While the quality is variable, there isn’t a single really duff couple amongst the contenders and you wouldn’t have said that after last week’s episode. That few weeks’ training in between the bootcamp and this first live show has clearly paid dividends.

Maybe the universally decent standard is why we ended up with such a strange result - still there were plenty of people who should have been exiting prior to Tom and Kate, or indeed their sing-off competitors Michelle and Bradley.

Here’s my run down of the couples, starting with the two pairs who were made to sing for survival:

Tom Bradley and Kate Somerset-How: Performed Blame it on the Boogie. Tom performed especially well. Kate also strong, with the exception of her dancing. Tom, a trained actor, is clearly a solid performer and Kate had potential. Only question mark for me was chemistry between the pair and maybe whether Tom looked the part. Still should definitely have been looking to get down to the final four or so, had they not been voted off.

Bradley Clarkson and Michelle Antrobus - Performed Boogie Wonderland. Good chemistry between the pair, work extremely well together. If not the best singers in the whole group, they are both solid and good dancers. One of the most polished performances and Michelle is probably the only Sandy to so far show that she can nail both the innocent and sexy sides to Sandy (knicker flash, anyone?). Their future will depend on whether Bradley can convince as Danny, Michelle, in my view, is the strongest Sandy of the bunch.

Danny Bayne and Susan McFadden - Performed Knock on Wood. I would say this pair have to be favourites to land the roles in the end. They certainly look the parts, although I think that their performance on this show was slightly underwhelming. Susan is vocally one of the strongest Sandy’s, while Danny B is a very strong dancer. Two big question marks for me - can Danny improve his singing and can Susan do sexy?

Anthony Kavanagh and Alison Crawford. Performed Don’t Leave me this Way. I really like this couple, although I’m not 100% sure why. Anthony’s voice is good, if a little nasal, and Alison somehow doesn’t seem quite right for Sandy. Still, they work well together on stage and the performance was fun and energetic. Anthony does need to work on the dancing though. I’d expect them to be in it for the long run.

Danny Rhodes and Lauren McConnell. Performed Wishing on a Star. Vocally they are streets ahead of everyone else - brilliant solo voices and perfect hamornies. Having said that, if it had been my choice they would have been the ones going home after this show. They are never, not in a million years, going to play Danny and Sandy in the West End. As good as they are at singing (and they are extremely good), neither of them has the sex appeal required for these specific parts, they both look too young and are awkward on stage. Sorry, but really. What were you thinking of voting for them?

Richard Morgan and Joanna Power. Performed Never Can Say Goodbye. If it had been judged purely on this evening’s performance, they should have been packing their bags. A real disappointment - I for one thought they might do better. Especially Richard, who has a natural charm and like-ability. Maybe that saved them. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t their dancing, which was poor. Think they will improve though.

Wayne Smith and Hayley Clarke. Performed Disco Inferno. For me, Wayne was by far the best Danny on tonight’s showing. A really excellent performance, especially the dancing. I’m not convinced by Hayley, but the pair did perform well together. However, one question. Why have we seen basically nothing of this pair before in any of the previous shows? It’s as if they have appeared from nowhere. One of the strongest couples.

Michael Quinn and Vicky Hoyles. Performed On the Radio. Very weak on the vocals - both of them. Dancing was good, but altogether a bit of a disappointment. I had expected to see them in the final two, singing for their supper, this week and I’d be surprised if they stuck around much longer. No real chemistry either. Good lifting, though.

Okay, so that’s my view on the couples. I’d be interested to know yours.

Also - a thought. Clearly, one of the principal features which makes this show interesting (and I do think it is turning into interesting TV) is the fact that the contestants live or die as couples.

However, this week has also clearly shown that this format has a weakness. Some potentially very strong performers - in this case Tom Bradley - has been voted off, perhaps in part due to the fact that his partner wasn’t quite as strong. Equally, I’m convinced that Michelle Antrobus wouldn’t have been in the sing-off had she been partnered with say Wayne Smith. Will this format turn out to be the show’s Achilles’ heel?

One of life’s great consistencies tells us that The Lord giveth, and The Lord taketh away, and never was that more true than in last night’s Doctor Who, which formed a hugely disappointing conclusion to what had started as a barnstorming Dalek two-parter.

Don’t get me wrong, it was as enjoyable as it always is, but some odd script choices and a unusually badly executed climax in the auditorium of a New York theatre left a somewhat empty feeling.

So, the now humanised Dalek Sec (and he works better than I thought he would after the end of last week’s episode), is planning to flood human brains with a hybrid of Dalek/human DNA, thus creating a new race of Daleks to take them forward - a return to the flesh, so to speak. So far, so Frankenstein, and the Doctor thinks this is a GOOD idea as it might stop the Daleks from being proto-Nazis who want to destroy the Universe. Problem being, Sec’s Dalek compatriots think this is a BAD idea, and double cross him, intending to just put the Dalek DNA into the mix. Oops!

EastEnders (Friday 8pm, BBC1)

It’s not often we get to big up an episode of EastEnders, but this is almost a classic piece of Walford wedding fun. We’ve been building up to the nuptials of Kevin and Denise all week, and the somewhat marvellous Shirley Wicks has been ticking away like a time bomb. Just when is she going to get round to telling Denise that Kevin recently bedded her? What’s the betting it’s about five minutes before the end of the episode? Come on ‘Enders, why can’t you be this good all the time?

American Idol (Friday 8.30pm, ITV2)

Aww, that’s nice. Cowell and co abandon the usual rounds of bitching and banter and let some stars take the stage in a special edition of the all-conquering American Idol to raise money for charity. It’s all done in the best possible taste, but don’t worry! The surviving six are still battling for survival in the midst of the charity love-in. With the way this show is going, expect it on prime time ITV anytime soon…

Peep Show (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

Best sit-com to grace our screens since the end of Black Books. Fact!

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.45pm, BBC1)

Well, obviously. Building on last week’s delicious beginning, this two-part Dalek-fest comes to a riotous conclusion. Dalek Sec has evolved into a half-human, half-Dalek hybrid to take the Dalek race forward, but I don’t fancy his chances of making it to the end of the episode. Daleks should always be Daleky, and as a new twist, it’s fine, but I predict that the pepperpotty evilness of the best monsters on TV will still be intact by the end of the episode. As usual, there’s lots of running around, and a lead actor who really has hit the top of his game in great style.

Any Dream Will Do/Grease is the Word (Saturday 7.30pm, BBC1/ITV1)

I tend to lose track of these shows, and Scott is a much better expert than I on the merits of both shows. Like a new teacher in class, I can never remember names and get confused on who is who. This week will see two potential Josephs get the boot and made to suffer the bizarrely wonderful rites of passage treatment at the hands of their compatriots. In centuries to come, historians are going to look back on scratchy recordings of these shows and wonder what the hell it was all about. As for Grease, apart from featuring some great songs, it’s worth it for David Gest who I just find fascinating to look out.

The Return of ‘Allo ‘Allo! (Saturday 9pm, BBC2)

Part documentary, part cast-reunion, this celebrates one of the great British sit-coms with fond nostalgia. While members of the original cast get to cavort on stage in new material written by Jeremy Lloyd (Rene is writing his memoirs back at Café Artois), there will be clips from the series and various interviews. It’s all very silly, of course, but that was the point, and as the repeats always show, the clever word play and running gags haven’t tarnished with age. A classic episode follows directly after at 10.45pm.

Victoria’s Empire (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

Part Michael Palin-esque travelogue, part historical documentary, part quirky piece of loveliness, Victoria Wood takes yet another new career tack and sets off around the world to look at what used to pass for the British Empire. This has a really nice feel, and you couldn’t really hope for better company than Wood, who skips around Hong Kong and India with an enthusiastic breathlessness.

The Worst Journey in the World (Sunday 9pm, BBC4)

Mark Gatiss, rapidly transforming from League of Gentleman funster to all round character actor, scriptwriter and novelist, writes and stars in this dramatisation of a sidestep from Captain Scott’s expedition to the Antarctic. It mixes documentary with drama nicely, and Gatiss’s knowledgeable enthusiasm shines through the script as Apsley Cheery-Garrard sets off with a couple of compatriots to collect the eggs of the emperor penguins. A lovely addition to BBC 4’s Edwardian Season.

Kingdom (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Just because. It’s nice, and I like nice.

Inspector Morse Weekend (Saturday/Sunday ITV3)

A mammoth selection of Inspector Morse goodness to while away the weekend in sedate style. The weekend is made up of episodes of the vintage ITV classic, with interview snippets from Kevin Whateley as he reminisces about his work on the series. The marathon culminates in Morse at the Albert Hall on Sunday night at 8pm, being a sumptuous show introduced by Michael Parkinson and featuring the London Philharmonic Orchestra playing the music of Barrington Pheloung.

I have to come out in fierce support of the stance taken by BBC director of acquisitions George McGhee on the increasingly thorny subject of Neighbours. As it’s looking more likely that the Beeb will lose the soap it has shown since 1986, McGhee has told Broadcast:

“If a deal is not reached in the very, very near future, we will withdraw the money and move it elsewhere.”

with strong indications that their decision to move funds into other avenues could be made by the end of the week.

It’s been rumoured that the BBC had been willing to increase their fee for a single episode of the soap from £20,000 to £70,000, which is some £10,000 shy of the figure allegedly offered by ITV to snap up the Australian Channel Ten show. The sticking point for ITV moving forward on a deal are problems over Video on Demand rights, which could leave the door open for Five to step in and secure the rights.

Of course, should the BBC lose the rights to Neighbours, the press will pounce on the story, accusing Auntie of becoming increasingly weak in light of other recent rights losses such as the FA Cup. If anything, I believe this shows the BBC to be strong and displaying a responsible policy on how licence payers’ money should be spent. Fremantle become the bad guys in this case, heads turned by the size of Michael Grade’s chequebook (and let’s remember, that’s by no means bottomless).

Above all, if what we are hearing is true, I find it a very sad state of affairs. If Neighbours hadn’t found an audience in the UK, then it’s very likely that the cheap-as-chips soap would have been cancelled years ago. It has never rated particularly highly in its native land, regularly losing out to Home and Away. Thanks to an already more than generous cash injection from Auntie (I find it hard to believe that an episode of Neighbours actually costs more than 20 grand!), its life has been extended longer than it probably deserved.

If Neighbours goes elsewhere and fails to find a reasonable audience share (it has 40 percent of the viewing audience from the current lunchtime showing) Fremantle will be as good as killing a nice little cash cow through nothing more than somebody coming along and flashing a big wad of cash at them.

Headlines you thought you’d never read:

“Blue Peter sorry for goat slaughter”

Just what kind of show are they making these days? The last time I watched Blue Peter, Anthea Turner was making Tracy Island, which is bad enough, but now, after phone line scandals, they’re slaughtering goats! What on earth would Biddy Baxter have to say?

And while we’re on a roll, isn’t it about time the production team apologised for those disturbing sequences of defecating elephants back in the 60s? I’ve had a phobia of zoos ever since…

Just switch off your television set and go and do something less boring instead?

Well let’s face it, looking over the television news today, we may as well considering what’s going on up in those ivory towers and what experts are telling us about the effects of television.

We have premium phone line scandals, too much violence in soaps, racism on reality TV, too much television being bad for children and HolbyBlue starting in couple of weeks. I mean, what’s that about?

Surely it’s only a matter of time before somebody writes Is It Just Me or is Television S**t?! And on the basis of the current climate, they may have a point.

But…

It’s too easy to blame everything on television. Take last night’s Panorama. Aside from it being a badly made documentary at a technical level – just look at the bloody camera and speak, don’t wave the damn thing around and cut to about 20 different angles – it was just painfully out of line when it came to Blue Peter. Okay, if Opera is investigated and proved to have been defrauding GMTV and its viewers out of thousands, even millions of pounds, then fair enough. Nail ‘em! But to treat Blue Peter editor Richard Marson like some dreadful criminal for one single error made in the spur of the moment during a live TV show – probably not even made by him – was, quite frankly, shocking. Or perhaps Blue Peter was the fall guy to fulfil some public service remit to allow Panorama to go for the jugular on the likes of Richard and Judy and GMTV. Either way, it was still wrong.

And as for the assertion that TV should be rationed to children, we’ve heard it all before. In fact, we’ve written about it before, specifically in relation to previous warblings by Dr Aric Sigman who is back once again to bang on about it some more. I’d like to ask Dr Sigman how much television he watches, and have this image of him sitting eating a pot noodle, glued to the Hollyoaks omnibus. We can but hope – it would certainly make me feel better about my own viewing levels.

I actually think that some of what Dr Sigman says on this subject is quite sensible – no child should have a TV in their bedroom until they are the age where they can police their own viewing. But come on, Dr S, change the record, eh?

And then we have too much violence in soaps. Do we? I watched Emmerdale, EastEnders and Coronation Street last night and not one hint of violence raised its head.

An Emmerdale storyline surrounding a kidnapping and featuring a shooting brought 37 complaints to Ofcom that the sequences were too violent. This was against an audience of around 8.5 million. This works out at 0.000435 per cent of the total audience finding the scenes too violent. I’m not saying that portion of the audience’s opinions and concerns should be ignored, but it is worth putting things into perspective.

Finally, we have HolbyBlue. And on the basis of the preview disc that’s currently sitting in my DVD player, this has me bang to rights. Television is in an irrevocable state of terminal decline. After 50 minutes of this, I think I will switch off my television set and go and do something less boring instead.

Coming Soon – HolbyBlue: The First Look. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

DVD of the Week: The Catherine Tate Comic Relief Special

It’s topped the Amazon bestseller lists ever since it was available to pre-order after this year’s Red Nose Day, and features (ever so slightly longer versions of) the sketches she put together for the fundraising event.

Whether it’s Lauren berating her new teacher (David Tennant) or on work experience at Number 10 — with Tony Blair showing a flair for comedic fiction not seen since that dodgy dossier — this is Tate at her best.

Although it’s short, it only costs £5 and is for a good cause. Only available from Amazon.co.uk.

• View a video preview

Hustle - Series 3

There’s still time to catch up with Mickey Bricks and the rest of his long con gang, in the enjoyably silly third series of Hustle, before the new series starts next week (sadly devoid of Adrian Lester). This is the series which saw Mickey and Danny (Marc Warren) dropped off naked in the middle of Trafalgar Square, Richard Chamberlain guest starring as a fellow con merchant, and culminates with an audacious sky-diving burglary which, as ever, is more complex than might first appear…

This is fun, glossy drama of the highest order. And while the third series never quite matches some of the highs in the first two, you still finish each episode with a great big smile on your face.

• Also available: Hustle Series 1, 2 and 3 box set

Neverwhere

Conceptually, Neil Gaiman’s fantasy series bears many of the hallmarks of his groundbreaking work in both comics and prose fiction. Unfortunately, the production values of this BBC drama fell way short; in many ways it felt like a series from another age. Now, eleven years later, those same production values don’t seem quite as glaringly out of place. Although the bull with a blanket over it still doesn’t make for an effective monster…

Still, there are great performances from all concerned — including a very young Laura Fraser (Conviction, Casanova). With Paterson Joseph, Hywel Bennett, Clive Russell and Trevor Peacock all on top form, this series deserves a better deal than it gets here. This DVD isn’t released with any extras at all (note to DVD makers: ‘scene access’ is not a ‘feature’, it’s a necessity). Which is a shame, as Gaiman himself has said he’d have liked the opportunity to contribute:

I was sort of hoping that if the BBC ever released it then we could put extra footage back into it, fix a few things that still really bothered me, do a commentary track with some of the actors and the producer that was more than just me in a room eight years after I’d last seen it, sort of busking desperately…

That last comment relates to the commentary he did for the US Region 1 release — again, something not included.

Update: Neil Gaiman himself — thanks for linking to us, Neil! — says that the US release (which contains his ‘rather bemused’ commentary) is, despite Amazon’s protestations to the contrary, Region 0 encoded and should play in UK players.

Also released…

• Hogfather: Sky’s ambitious, and consequently slightly disappointing, Terry Pratchett adaptation. There is more to come, which hasn’t gone down well with Pratchetteers on the internet…

• Arrested Development - Season 3: As with all the greatest US comedies, this show suffered at the hands of UK schedulers, resulting in a lower profile than it deserved. This latest, and final, catalogue of horrors in the lives of the Bluth family features guest performances from Charlize Theron and Scott Baio.

• Playing The Field - Series 3 And 4: In its later years, Kay Mellor’s series about the loves and lives of a team of women football players wasn’t quite as sharp as it had been, but it remained head and shoulders above many similar styles of show.

An Awfully Big Adventure (Monday 7.10pm, BBC4)

Jenny Agutter looks into the life of The Railway Children writer E Nesbitt. Was the author as innocent as her childrens’ books would have us believe? A repeat of a TV adaptation of Nesbitt’s The Phoenix and the Carpet follows at 8.30pm, but sadly is a 90s version and the not the fondly remembered 70’s take on the novel.

The Real Mr Pooter (Monday 9pm, BBC4)

Ahead of tomorrow’s Andrew Davies adaptation of The Diary of a Nobody, this exhaustive documentary, forming part of the excellent Edwardian Season, explores how Charles Pooter, hero of the novel, is a template for some of our modern day comic icons. It also gives a thumbnail biography of the author George Grossmith and includes contributions from Davies, Peter Ackroyd and David Nobbs.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

New Tricks – it’s like Waking the Dead meets Last of the Summer Wine (in a good way of course!). Tonight, Inspector Wexford himself, George Baker, guests stars in a tale that sees the aged team uncover an armoured security truck at the bottom of a lake. Does it link to a murder case, and how will the death of a witness effect the investigation?

Life Line (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

After last week’s Sea of Souls outing, here’s another two-part piece of spookiness from Auntie. It’s all very silly, as Peter (Ray Stevenson) has a brief reunion with an old flame (a very welcome appearance from Joanne Whalley), who then dies on him. This sends Peter’s life spiralling out of control, until somebody introduces him to the Life Line, a telephone service that… well, you can probably work that bit out for yourself. Sounds like something out of Rentaghost, to be honest. Concludes on Thursday.

The Diary of a Nobody (Tuesday 9pm, BBC4)

This is worth it for Hugh Bonneville’s sterling performance as Charles Pooter, because let’s face it, Andrew Davies could have knocked this adaptation out in an evening with a red pen and copy of the book. Bonneville is pitch perfect as Pooter, giving life to the character’s pained expression and view of life. It’s this turn that thankfully raises this above being merely a Radio 4 reading of the novel.

Sex on Trial: the Soapstar Story (Tuesday 10.30pm, C4)

Anybody with half an interest in television and soaps will want to tune in here to relive one of the biggest scandals to rock the foundations of Soapland. Sex scandals for soap actors these days are ten a penny, but when EastEnders actress Gillian Taylforth allegedly performed an act of oral pleasure on her fella at the time in a lay by, this was pretty saucy stuff. And so was the libel action brought against The Sun by Taylforth, that backfired on her spectacularly. Relive the case in all its gory details here.

Columbo (Wednesday 1.30pm, Five)

The kind of TV that makes you long to work from home. A double-bill of the best detective drama ever to grace the world’s airwaves. Oh, there’s just one more thing: make a cuppa, get some biccies out and take the phone off the hook.

Champions League Live (Wednesday 7pm, Sky Sports 1)

Come on Liverpool!! (Normal service will now resumed).

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

It’s Wednesday, so what else are you going to be watching? As the teams enter the murky world of photographic art, the big revelation this week is that Tre isn’t descended from a fish. Well, thanks for that Tre. He’s rapidly becoming the entertaining heart beating The Apprentice to some increasingly high ratings, and is a cringe worthy joy to behold. Having said that, I’m missing Sophie and her theories about milk, but Tre more than makes up for her absence. Elsewhere, the time bomb that is Jadine continues to tick, leading everybody to wonder: just when is she going to explode?

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

It’s an Albert Square wedding. Rejoice! At least something will happen for a change. And who’s putting money on Shirley telling all about her night of lust and passion (ew!) with Kevin before he gets Denise down the aisle? With those odds, it’s not worth my while…

The Human Footprint (Thursday 9pm, C4)

A quite ingenious documentary (sort of) that shows just what effect we have on our surrounding during an average lifetime. Did you know that, for example, you might eat 13, 345 eggs before you die? Food for thought. Ahem…

House/Shark (Thursday from 9pm, Five)

A coupling of fine American drama that makes Five just about worth tuning into. You know the drill with House, but things are a little different this week as the good doc seems to have found his match in the form of David Morse’s hard cop, Micheal Tritter, who has House banged up on drug charges. Gasp! Shark, on the other hand, is still an unknown quantity, although James Woods as a scenery-chewing lawyer with lots of one-liners isn’t a million miles away from House.

It’s bootcamp for our sixty potential Dannys and Sandys and there’s only one question which everyone is dying to have answered.

Just what is Sinitta wearing?

Well, maybe they’re quite interested in whether they are going to make it down to the final eight pairs, but frankly I want to know what those things in Sinitta’s hair are - chopsticks? Week by week her costumes get more and more outlandish.

One other question as well. Why are all the microphone’s distorting? It’s a little off-putting when you’re trying to work out whether the performers’ voices are up to the grade. Still, maybe that’s a good thing with David Ian telling us:

“The biggest worry for me is that the dancers can’t sing and the singers can’t dance.”

And he has a point. Some of the dancing is truly awful - especially with the boys. As the other David (Gest) observes:

“I’ve never seen worse dancers in my life. I’ve seen monks that dance better than these people.”

Unfortunately, he’s not specific as to where he saw the monks so the panel is going to have to make do with what is in front of them, and, as the chaff is slowly sifted out over the three-day boot camp, some talent starts to emerge.

The show’s “unique selling point” (or I’m sure that’s how it would have been pitched) also begins to reveal itself. The Dannys and Sandys are going to have to pair up, which of course can only mean one thing. Romance. Or so we’re led to believe.

Clearly, though, the judges believe that these should be arranged marriages, as after a pretty disastrous first showing when the contestants are allowed to chose their own partners, David Ian et al decide to play matchmakers, as they attempt to discover which potential Dannys and Sandys might have chemistry.

One thing we do know after the first stage of rejections is that we aren’t going to have a brother and sister playing Danny and Sandy (thank God - that would have been strange) , nor are we going to have a real life couple - unless something happens between now and the show. And, after the final round of selection, we also discover that (surprise surprise) we aren’t going to have a black Sandy. But, underdogs of the world unite, we may have a Danny with a stammer.

What else have we found out? Well, Brian McFadden’s sister Susan is beginning to reveal herself as a real contender. She has prior experience and it’s starting to show. Meanwhile, of the Dannys, Richard - the plasterer - impresses and Anthony, former pop star, Kavanagh also has to be in contention.

By the end of it, the judges of whittled things down to their final 16. Which, for those of you who weren’t taking notes, was:

Danny Bayne Age: 19 Job: Student Location: London

Tom Bradley Age: 19 Job: Actor Location: Leicester

Bradley Clarkson Age: 25 Location: Hertfordshire Job: Student

Anthony Kavanagh Age: 29 Job: Singer Location: Manchester

Richard Morgan Age: 20 Job: Plasterer Location: Rotherham

Michael Quinn Age: 24 Job: Actor / Singer Location: Lewisham

Danny Rhodes Age: 22 Job: Student and waiter Location: Southend-on-Sea

Wayne Smith Age: 26 Location: Preston Job: Cabaret Singer

Michelle Antrobus Age: 24 Location: Winchmore Hill Job: Student

Hayley Clarke Age: 18 Location: Liverpool Job: Student & Waitress

Alison Crawford Age:25 Job: Waitress Location: Liverpool

Vicky Hoyles Age: 22 Job: Beauty Therapist

Lauren McConnell Age: 16 Job: Student Location: Sussex

Susan McFadden Age: 24 Job: Performer Location: London

Joanna Power Age: 22 Job: Pub Singer Location: Essex

Kate Somerset-How Age: 23 Job: Gym receptionist Location: London

Next week, it’s the first round of live shows when the 16 will be placed into their final pairs and success or failure will ride not just on their own performances, but also those of their partners. It will be interesting to see whether this means that we lose some the better performers simply because they are partnered which someone weaker. Only time will tell.

On something of a side note, an observation. For those of you reading my blog last week, you might recall I was looking forward to finding out who David Ian was to describe as “so common”. Well, despite billing it at the end of last week’s episode, I’ve been left in the dark as it was obviously edited out of this week’s programme. Shame, but then again, I have an inkling…

Also, I’m still not convinced that the overall quality of the performers is as high as on the BBC rival Any Dream Will Do. However, to be fair, that show has a few weeks’ headstart on its ITV counterpart and maybe by next week’s live show some of the weaker contestants will have been knocked into shape.

I’m sure I’m not the only person watching both shows and I’d be interested to know what others think as to the relative standards of the performers.

With such a glorious title, how could this episode of Doctor Who not fail to hit all the right buttons, whether you’re die-hard fan or mainstream viewer? It had everything, from a well-realised setting, Daleks trundling through corridors, showgirls, fantastically cod Noo Yaark accents, a lead actor who is at the top of his game, and erm… Pig Men.

Regular readers of TV Today will know how much we love the Doctor round these parts, but Daleks in Manhattan pushed my fan-pleasing buttons in such a way that it felt like I was six years old again. As the Doctor and Martha begin to investigate the mystery of missing persons in the impoverished area of Hooverville in New York, 1930, writer Helen Raynor and director James Strong layer the atmosphere and suspense with a restraint that doesn’t take anything away from the pace. As this is a two-parter, they can afford to take their time, and draws attention to how the plots of the single episode stories can often lose out on satisfying resolutions due to cramming too much in. Not so here, and it’s all the better for it. For a change the audience has time to enjoy the surroundings as much as our heroes, from the decrepit Hooverville setting, the theatre, complete with a full song and dance routine, creepy, slimy sewer tunnels and the centrepiece, the unfinished Empire State Building…

And so let us return to the beginning of another live show. And I promise, that’s the last time I open with that excruciating pun, but I had to do it once — and now it’s out of my system I won’t be tempted to do it again. Unlike Graham Norton, Andrew Lloyd Webber and the joke about the red button — didn’t work last week, still doesn’t work this week. Any scenario where Norton is set up as the straight man is wrong on so many levels.

But on to the performances, and after the introductory group number we’re told that this week, the emphasis will be on acting. Only, this being a music show, the only acting the boys are going to be allowed to do is through their singing performance.

First up is Daniel, who I tipped last week as a potential winner — and oh dear. Since You’ve Been Gone is pretty much all shouting past the opening lines, and that doesn’t really work for Daniel’s voice. I swear he sounds flat much of the time. And his exuberant acting style (in which he Emotes with a capital E), which would work well on stage, just looks overblown in a TV environment where the cameras can get up close. However, the judges in the studio loved it. Craig’s rendition of I Want To Go Home shows how it’s relatively easier for the acting side of a song to come through when performing a ballad. The judges are split: Denise and John feel that he needs to do more, but Bill and Zoe are effusive.

Next up, Keith sings Who Am I?, and the performance side of the song really works. However, vocally John says his diction is terrible, while Zoe says he’s singing in his nose. Seamus, given possibly my favourite MT song ever in Sondheim’s Being Alive from Company, was always going to have trouble convincing me that his version was sufficient: he falls far short. While he’s hitting all the notes, and his phrasing is good, the performance side — the bit we’re supposed to be concentrating on this week — feels flat. And oh, Seamus! When the judges are talking, don’t keep up with the backchat. It rarely endears you to the audience and makes it all the harder for people to believe your talk about selective editing.

Fifth to perform is Ben, who was saved by ALW after being in the bottom two last week. He’s given All By Myself to perform, which as a song of extremes should enable him to show his acting chops. Unfortunately, it’s his voice that stands out, and for all the wrong reasons. As the judges pick up, it’s flat in a number of places and just doesn’t work.

Next up is Johndeep, and again we’re reminded that he’s an ‘Office Administrator’ whose parents have never heard him sing before. And here we get the ultimate irony of this competition — while Johndeep may work in an office, he’s also got his own entry in the Spotlight Actors’ Directory (as do ‘cement administrator’ Daniel and actor Lee). While ventures like this get criticism from the industry for favouring amateur performers over professionals, if those who have already had a small degree of success were more honest about it, maybe such criticism would die down a bit. Anyway, rant over, and on to the song — Something’s Coming from West Side Story. Oh dear. A complete misread of the song, which the judges pick up on. Meanwhile, Chris Barton wins them all over with a version of I’ll Be There, which Zoe reckons was smooth like chocolate, and Andrew says delivered both love and passion.

Eighth up is Rob, and for me his delivery of Piano Man is as much of a misread as Johndeep’s. No acting to speak of, just a lot of cheeky grins to camera. Most of the judges love it, but Andrew Lloyd Webber points out that the lyrics of the song are sung by two characters — and there was precious little of either, in my view. Then Antony, delivering Light My Fire with the same Jose Feliciano-style arrangement that served Will Young so well in the first series of Pop Idol. Vocally it’s a great performance and the studio audience are lapping it up, but as soon as he approaches either of the girl dancers, he looks lost — no firelighting going on there. Denise tries to make the same point, but manages to make his stiffness sound absolutely filthy. Bill says that he could be Joseph, as long he remembers to embrace the audience, and Andrew thinks he was terrific.

The final pair are up — Lewis copes well with Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word; he struggles a bit with the falsetto lines, but who wouldn’t? Generally positive comments from the judges, although Zoe has a few pointers vocally for him (like not breathing in the middle of words). Lee provides the final solo performance of the evening, and immediately proves how well his acting experience has paid off — a finely controlled performance of Bad Day which overcomes the difficulties of a horrible song to sing with passion and restraint. There couldn’t be a bigger contrast with his nearest professional rival, Daniel’s raucous opening number.

In the second show, there’s another group rendition: this time, of Pinball Wizard from Tommy. Antony and Keith impressed me the least here, but with lines closing shortly, will any of the actors’ performances here matter to the final vote?

After a brief detour to McFly territory (the least said about which the better), the judges predict who should go this week. Zoe and Denise both predict Ben, while both Bill and John suggest Johndeep should go. As the results come in, it’s Chris and Johndeep in the sing-off — a duet of Let It Be. And while Chris may have scored the lowest phone votes, he walks the song. By contrast, Johndeep is nervous, occasionally off-key and seems to be singing some of Chris’ solo parts at times.

When it comes to the decision, Andrew says he has to bear in mind who could really be Joseph, but has a difficult choice, because he believes both should be staying. In the end, Johndeep is sent home; unlike Chris C last week, he struggles with his final Close Every Door. Never mind, Johndeep: according to your Spotlight CV, you have a solo song on a gospel album coming out later this month, so not every door is closing…

Have I Got News For You (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

TV Today hero Adrian Chiles takes the presenters chair to marshal Messrs Hislop and Merton through their satirical paces, along with guests Mark Steel and Daisy McAndrew.

Ugly Betty (Friday 9pm, C4)

Last week’s arrival of deceased Meade brother Alex in the form of blonde bombshell Alexis has given this always entertaining series a much-needed lift. It feels like things are actually moving the plot forward after weeks of playful teasing and that a satisfying finale is just over the horizon. Tonight, Wilhelmina attempts to take control of Mode, but can Betty and Alex stop her power-hungry plotting?

Peep Show (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

After last week’s sublime opener (“Suck mummy’s finger. Do I suck mummy’s finger?”) the fourth series of the magnificently wonderful Peep Show continues. How do you describe this show and do it any kind of justice? You can’t. It just works. Inexplicably, owing a debt to the likes of Seinfeld in its exploration of obsession over trivialities and mundane situations that are often made extraordinary by the presence of Jez and Mark. It just gets better and better and deserves a friendlier timeslot and bigger audience.

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.35pm, BBC1)

An earlier start for the Doctor, which seems to have the fans up in arms on the grounds that the ratings will obviously take a tumble and that British television’s highest-rated, non-soap drama will be one step closer to cancellation. But with a 1930s New York setting, Daleks hatching an evil plot from the top of the Empire State Building and pig slaves stalking the sewers, what on earth are you all worried about? Guest-starring Holby’s Hugh Quarshie and Spooks’ Miranda Raison.

Born Survivor: Bear Grylls (Saturday 7pm, C4)

In the absence of Harry Hill, we’ll actually have to tune into this sublimely bonkers show under our own steam to see what madness Bear is up to. According to the Radio Times, he heads off to Mexico’s Copper Canyon where he “catches fish by constructing a dam and stunning them with a stick”. Oh Harry, where are you?

Any Dream Will Do/Grease is the Word (Saturday 7.25pm, BBC1/ITV1)

Doctor Who’s earlier slot (it’s doomed, doomed!) allows the battle of the talent search to commence as Any Dream Will Do and Grease is the Word go head-to-head for the first time. Grease has been lagging behind in the ratings somewhat, but this could even things up, although with Grease running until 9pm, it’s a hell of a slog to go the distance. For my money, the BBC show has the edge, seeming to out a premium on talent, Graham Norton is a far better host than Zoe Ball, and Any Dream Will Do doesn’t have David Gest. Bonus.

Kingdom (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

We had a First Look at this charming new ITV1 drama earlier this week. Stephen Fry makes welcome return to TV drama as the unassuming Norfolk lawyer Peter Kingdom. Looks lovely, has a great cast, with Celia Imrie, Hermione Norris, Tony Slattery and Karl Davies on support duty, and might just give you a dopey grin to go back to work with. Nice.

Shopping for England (Sunday 9pm, BBC4)

According to this documentary that continues the excellent Edwardian season, shopping use to be a bit of a pain in the backside until the arrival of Woolworth and Selfridges from across the Atlantic. I’m not sure whether to thank them or boycott them. Here, we discover just how our Edwardian forebears went about the irksome process of the weekly shop.

Channel 4 seems to have been pulling out the drama stops recently, with single films Wedding Belles and The Mark of Cain both receiving much acclaim. Last night was the turn of Secret Life, a drama by writer/director Rowan Joffe and starring Matthew Macfadyen as a convicted paedophile, newly released and trying not to reoffend.

The controversial subject matter was bound to provoke reactions, and so it did. Continue reading for links to bloggers’ reviews, as well as some of the national TV critics.

Beware: if you haven’t seen it yet, some of the reviews will reveal major plot points when you click through to them, especially about the ending. Expect it to show up on More4 soon, and it should be available on 4OD free for a week.

Michael Grade, with this £30 million quid contract for Ant and Dec, you are spoiling us! Or are you? After the recent scooping of the FA Cup from under the noses of the BBC, Grade has got the chequebook out again and stumped up a reported £30 million for the cheeky Geordie duo to stay tied to ITV for the next two and a half years.

Um…

Is this wise, one has to ask? I’m well aware of the attraction of Ant and Dec. They are personable, inoffensive and have an appealing, everyman quality, but are they really worth this much folding stuff? At a time when ITV should be consolidating and being a bit more circumspect, this seems a bit rash.

The main question on my mind is just what are the pair going to bring to the table that’s startlingly new? Yes, they front one of the channel’s most bankable shows, I’m a Celebrity…, but that star is surely on the wane as the show enters its 7th season. Ratings were still a healthy 7.5 million or thereabouts for last year’s run, but that’s down on previous highs for this ITV big hitter. Will the ratings look quite so shiny in relation to the boys’ salary come the next run? We’ll see.

Similarly, Saturday Night Takeaway is looking a little tired and needs its format perking up if it’s going to carry on (and whether Ant and Dec actually want to do more). That being said, it’s always been a fun, feisty piece of light entertainment fluff that has broad appeal, and that’s certainly not a bad thing.

The premium advertising rates that can be charged across these two shows alone will probably have the accountants smiling favourably on this deal, but surely, neither can last forever at the levels they have reached in the past.

And what of the boys themselves? They’re certainly not bullet proof. Poker Face has hardly set the television world alight, and The All Star Cup isn’t exactly an innovative idea. “Let’s get some celebrities together to play some golf!” Brilliant!

And then we have the lads’ recent trip across the Atlantic to record a pilot for a show – how will this kind of activity fit in with their new contract?

When it comes down to it, is anybody really worth that much money? The BBC endures flak whenever it pays a couple of million for a new contract, but eyelids are barely batted when ITV plays the same game. Yes, the BBC needs to be careful with the money it pays (and Jonathan Ross really isn’t worth £18 million), but is anybody worth £15 million each.

ITV does not have unlimited cash and these kind of high profile payouts could send out the wrong message to both audience, advertisers and the industry at large. If I were Paul Jackson, who reportedly brokered the deal, I’d be tasking these boys with a Victorian work ethic to get value for money and some new, innovative formats for the golden boys to work their magic on.

While I’m a little wary of the news that Dad’s Army is to be revived for a new stage show, starring Leslie Grantham (I mean, really), I think it’s worth pointing out to the writer of this BBC News story that thorough research is often King in these moments.

Classic sitcom Dad’s Army is to be revived on stage with its first major theatrical production.

opens the story. The words “first major theatrical production” immediately sets alarm bells ringing. Quickly, to the Google poles! Oh what’s this? Generous information on the 1975/1976 West End musical adaptation of the classic BBC sitcom, starring the original cast.

Now, I realise I’m opening myself up to scrutiny of my own work for cracks in research, but this is one oversight that I find bewildering in a story on one of the premier news websites known to the Internet. Even the most cursory Googling of the words “Dad’s Army” and “stage show” brings forth fairly detailed information on the show (which was also performed with a new cast in Australia as recently as 2005 under the moniker of Dad’s Army – The Musical).

But, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. Actually, the new stage show might have a nice sense of nostalgic homage if done properly, along the lines of Steptoe & Son in Murder at Oildrum Lane. Certainly, the casting of Emmerdale’s Peter Martin as Captain Mainwaring is interesting, and the notion of performing the script of two episodes currently AWOL from the archives is a nice touch.

But how effective can a new cast truly be in repcapturing the spirit of a group of actors who are, quite literally, comedy legends?

“Don’t tell him, Pike!”

That Derren Brown - he’s a slippery customer.

I was watching the (rather excellent) first episode of his new Channel 4 series Trick or Treat this week. It was my second viewing of the show and I was watching with a rather observant friend, who pointed out to me something interesting about a specific element of the show.

Now, I don’t want to spoil anything for those of you who don’t want know, but let’s just say for the moment that our viewing session involved lots of pausing the TV and craning our necks into bizarre positions. A handstand was even suggested at one point.

We all know with Derren that he is deceiving us — he’s fairly honest in his deception, so to speak — but it’s rare that one notices exactly how one is being tricked. Which got me thinking that maybe he meant for viewers to spot this one.

If you’re interested please read on. If you’re not, please don’t — and leave safe in the knowledge that the man is a wizard, not a magician.

Peter Kingdom is nice. Really nice. As a solicitor in a small (but undeniably nice) Norfolk town, he knows everybody and everybody knows him. He drives a nice, if quirky, car (a bit like Bergerac, only, well… nicer), has a jack-the-lad assistant (who is probably nice), an alcoholic sister (who would be nice if she’d stop ogling blokes and knocking the pop back), a mad (but nice) secretary. Oh, and a dead brother. Which is not so nice.

But how could Kingdom, the latest Sunday night drama offering from ITV1 be anything other than nice? It has Stephen Fry, the very epitome of British niceness, in the title role of Peter Kingdom, marking his return to British television drama since 2005’s Tom Brown’s Schooldays. And it’s the presence of Fry that raises Kingdom from being just another run of the mill Sunday nighter. Not to mention a cast made up of Hermione Norris, Celia Imrie and Karl Davies. Davies formerly played the second Robert Sugden in Emmerdale, and in his post soap days, is surprisingly good as Kingdom’s assistant, Lyle.

The first episode is a run of the mill affair that barely troubles the scorer, as Kingdom deals with the affairs of a deceased widow and tackles her bad tempered offspring. As a story, it may as well have just stayed in bed with the Hollyoaks omnibus and cup of tea, but I suspect I’m never going to be tuning in to Kingdom for any pushing of drama envelopes.

But yet…

Normally this would be the kind of drama I’m happy to ridicule (and do so on a routine basis), but there’s something undeniably engaging about Kingdom. Much of this is down to Fry – I could watch him reading the phone book to be honest. But that aside, there’s enough of a mystery about the character to keep me interested – is his brother really dead, for starters?

Plus I refuse to believe that any person can be this nice. Indeed, Kingdom’s sister asks why he is so damn nice. And he just shrugs kind heartedly and avoids the question. Is there a well of anger hiding beneath Peter’s comfortingly crumpled exterior just waiting to bubble to the surface? I do hope so.

It’s never going to win any awards, but who cares? The Norfolk backdrop looks beautiful, the characters are quirky enough to be interesting, and it has a cameo from Phylida Law as Peter’s aunt. Now that’s worth the admission price alone.

But really, when it comes down to it, I think I just like the idea of driving round Norfolk in an open-topped car and standing on a beach looking wistful while the sun sets.

Cup of tea, anyone?

Kingdom starts on Sunday 22 April on ITV1 at 9pm

Fans of any long-running series can be a funny bunch — none more so than devotees of Doctor Who. One of the major sources of ire is when future plot points are revealed without warning. It irks me a little — as with E4’s trailer for the season finale of ER last year, for example. As a general rule, though, I don’t mind seeing the occasional previews of forthcoming events, but some go to extraordinary lengths to avoid seeing or hearing anything that might disrupt their ignorance of events to come.

Let’s just hope that people who want to avoid spoilers for the forthcoming episode of Doctor Who, Daleks in Manhattan, don’t step into any newsagents for the next week — for the new edition of Radio Times has a cover image that is, in itself, a spoiler for the end of the episode.

Now, if you go to the RT website you’ll see the cover itself, so be warned. If you don’t mind seeing it, the BBC website has a large image of it.

What’s a little strange about this huge spoiler is that it’s been arranged with explicit approval of the series’ executive producer, Russell T Davies. In his monthly column in Doctor Who Magazine, Russell has always been careful to warn readers of what he calls ‘ruiners’ — listings magazines who give away far too much. Oh, the irony.

Or is it?

Certainly, Russell is no fan of the spoiler, but he does recognise the dilemma involved in promoting shows. In an accompanying feature, he says:

You want to give away a certain amount, to draw people in. But you don’t want people watching and thinking they’ve seen it before. What we try to protect are the endings of plots — that’s the important thing.

It always mystifies me when soaps give away plots in advance. I read a billing for Coronation Street: ‘Tracy disowns her mother’. And you watch it, and it’s the last scene! You sit there going, ‘Why did you tell me that?’

Which makes me wonder — is the monster that appears on the cover quite as big a give away as we might think? Or is it actually a red herring, to distract us from a bigger, more shocking revelation? Come Saturday, we’ll find out…

DVD of the Week: Cardiac Arrest – The Complete Series

Spanning 27 episodes over three series, the complete Cardiac Arrest is released in one big hit in a very handsome DVD set that is, sadly bereft of extras. For a medical drama that is remembered by many as the finest, most brutal example of the genre, that’s a shocking oversight.

The series is a curious beast, with a six episode first series of half hour episodes, followed by an eight episode second series and 13 episode final series. It’s quite brutal in places, but shockingly ham-fisted in others, especially early on, but always pushes a boundary of honesty that is much more real than writer Jed Mercurio’s later Bodies (although for the record, Bodies is still a stunning piece of work). Mercurio probably wouldn’t appreciate the comparison of Cardiac Arrest with No Angels as its modern equivalent, but that’s the closest you’ll get. Casualty doesn’t even come close.

The three series follow a journey for the young doctors working in a modern NHS hospital, typified by newly qualified houseman, Andrew Collin. Here he encounters the ballsy SHO Claire Maitland, who becomes both mentor and bitch in one package to the timid Andrew. As the centre of the series, Andrew Lancel and Helen Baxendale play these roles with gutsy perfection. Baxendale especially is quite shockingly hard-nosed, considering the really-rather-nice roles she’s now well known for. It makes for fascinating viewing in retrospect. Similarly, Lancel, now a mainstay of The Bill, is acting his heart out to portray Andrew’s exhausted frustration at this hellhole he finds himself in. He wanted to help people, and instead ends up crying on his bed after working over 50 hours straight without a break and is called to yet another patient.

The downside of the early episodes is that the honesty of the show is almost its undoing, with a sense that these are children playing at being doctor. This might come down to the unfamiliarity of the format, being drama/soap/black comedy all rolled into one, shot on video in 30-minute segments. Shots of flashing blue lights through frosted glass windows in almost every first series episode that try to scream “WE’RE IN A HOSPITAL!!!!” don’t help.

But… that could never take away from the raw importance of Cardiac Arrest as the first (and possibly) only show that attempted (and from the testimony of those in the medical profession, succeeded) to show the reality of working within the NHS.

As it continues, Cardiac Arrest’s confidence grows noticeably, with a cast and writing crew maturing with the show. And just look at the directing pedigree – the likes of Peter Mullan and David Hayman inject proceedings with an electric sense of energy that is rarely matched in any modern drama.

Could Cardiac Arrest have continued? Plans were afoot to turn the series into a soap, which would have made a mockery of all that the cast, crew and writers had achieved in 27 episodes of brilliant television. Thankfully that route was curtailed, leaving a fantastic (and marvellously unresolved) ending.

Sometimes the content of a television show can speak for itself, but the one shame about this DVD set is the lack of retrospective documentary. From the press launch of this package, attended by Jed Mercurio, Helen Baxendale, Andrew Lancel and Jo Dow, the cast still have a strong bond and clearly have a lot to say about their experiences. A missed opportunity, but an essential purchase for anybody with even a passing interest in TV drama.

Continue reading for the rest of the week’s releases…

And so we move into the studio for the first of the eight shows that will determine which of the twelve prospective Josephs will open at the Adelphi this summer. A strong group performance from the dozen delivers a great start to the show, and makes up for some frankly rather weird banter between Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber over red button interactivity. What’s that all about?

But onto the solo performances, and as with Maria? last year we’ll see two performances before the judges give their opinions. The pairing off seems to be planned thematically as much as possible: to kick things off, we have Robert, the least experienced finalist, followed by Lee, potentially the most experienced (we’re continually reminded that he was understudying Raoul in Phantom of the Opera). And given Rob’s lack of experience, his rendition of Summer of 69 isn’t too bad. A bit karaoke in places, and at one point he gets the lyrics wrong, but the judges like it. And there’s a clear contrast with Lee’s version of Mack the Knife, which he delivers with just the right level of restraint, really working the audience. Both Bill Kenwright and Andrew Lloyd Webber have employed him as understudies in the past, and both say that they hadn’t seen a leading man quality in him until now.

Next up, Lewis and Ben, who have known each other for years since meeting at drama school (Italia Conti, for those who want to know). Lewis does a big dance number for Faith, which is competent enough but doesn’t win me over at home. And the mood in the studio is much the same. Denise Van Outen and John Barrowman are disappointed, but Bill says he’d go into a rehearsal room with him tomorrow. In contrast, Ben’s version of Johnny B Goode, equally strong on choreography, seems a bit strained in the vocal performance to me — but the judges are enthusiastic.

If there’s a theme to the next pairing, it’s career change. Craig wants to step out from his cabaret roots — strange, in the clips of his performances we don’t see any of the male strippers who dance while he sings! — while an emotional Johndeep clearly seeks parental approval from a mother and father who would maybe have preferred him to become a lawyer or doctor. On this evidence, Craig’s going to struggle. Affected by nerves all day, his performance of Try A Little Tenderness is just okay. I’m not sure it deserves the negative reactions from John Barrowman, though — nobody wants to be compared with Martine McCutcheon, surely. John’s mood only barely improves for Johndeep’s rendition of If There’s Any Justice, but his fellow judges are much more positive. Andrew Lloyd Webber compares him to a young Gene Pitney, which I’m guessing is meant as a compliment.

Another pairing of contrasts next, with eldest contestant Seamus preceding Antony, the youngest. It’s clear that Seamus’ instinct to always put his teaching background into practice is rubbing several of his competitors up the wrong way. And while his version of Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For is a technically great vocal performance, personally I feel he lacks something in stage presence. In contrast, Antony’s Don’t Want To Miss A Thing is the opposite — there’s a real sense of ownership of the stage, but the tuning is off at several points. Somewhat surprisingly, vocal coach Zoe Tyler doesn’t comment (even though Denise suggests that she might), instead praising both men and saying that all the boys are much nicer than last year’s Marias.

Next up, Chris C struggles to cope with This Love, a tough song to do well. Denise says that he may be a bit too skinny for her to imagine him as Joseph in a loin cloth, which is harsh but probably fair. Meanwhile Daniel gives the performance of the night with You Give Me Something. Bill reckons he’s got the best voice in the competition, and he’s right. He’s also got a nice anecdotal part-time job (cement administrator) as well as professional qualifications and experience — just like Connie “telesales” Fisher. I’ll say it now: Daniel is my tip to win the entire series, and if he does it’ll be well deserved. Sadly, ALW disagreed tonight, saying that he didn’t feel Daniel connected with the material. I think he was watching a different performance to me.

Onto the final couple, and there could only be one theme for this pairing: teeth. Both Chris B and Keith have, shall we say, quite distinctive smiles. Chris’ Walking in Memphis is controlled, but left me feeling underwhelmed; Keith’s Crazy Little Thing Called Love is rightly called out by John Barrowman as being a little stiff. Still, neither performance is bad. Indeed, all twelve performances were either good or excellent, meaning it’s not going to be easy to guess who has to participate in the sing-off.

After the lottery draws, we return to see a group performance of Luck Be A Lady, as well executed as the show opener. Following that, a video package asks the contestants to describe who shouldn’t be Joseph. It’s a shameless attempt to introduce some dissension in the ranks — and while most commenters seem uncomfortable talking down their competitors, it’s clear that Seamus doesn’t quite enjoy the respect that he thinks he deserves.

As the results come in, it’s revealed that Chris C and Ben polled the lowest votes. In terms of predictions, that puts Bill one up (he correctly predicted Chris C; Denise and John predicted Craig, while Zoe said Antony should go). Both singers do well with Bridge Over Troubled Water, although Chris stumbles near the end, missing a sustain that Ben pulls off effortlessly.

The final decision is down to Lord Lloyd-Webber, and he saves Ben. It must have been a tough choice, because in the farewell song — Close Every Door — Chris gives a storming rendition. Any doubts Denise and the others may have had about his stature for the role of Joseph will sadly have been swept away too late, as this particular door is closed for the 18-year-old.

So as the first live week comes to an end, I think it’s clear that there is a strong range of talent, and the choice of who leaves can only get harder from here.

It’s the final week of auditions and, warns Zoe Ball, if the show doesn’t manage to find a suitable Sandy and Danny, then the civilised world as we know it will come to an end. Rivers will run with blood, David Ian’s tanned visage will turn pale and David Gest will appear sane.

Well not quite. But frankly they are hamming it up a little. Apparently this “unparalleled global phenomenon” will be a “disaster” and close within two weeks without the right lead pair. Judging from some of the auditions which we’re shown that could be a real possibility and, Zoe reminds us, “time is running out.”

Sinitta, meanwhile, is insisting that “it doesn’t matter what you look like” to play Sandy and, indeed, the judges do put through a black Sandy. But it’s one thing casting against type when it’s just about putting them through to boot camp, it’s another when it comes to the final product. Which is perhaps why David Ian seems so keen on the pretty blonde Sandys like Susan - who, it emerges, is Brian McFadden’s sister. “You’re a beautiful blonde, who sings and acts. A massive yes for me,” says Ian.

It’s proving a little harder to find Danny, though. Mehmet thinks he’s got what it takes. He can sing, dance and act like Marlon Brando, apparently - although David Gest would appear to disagree.

“You’re the first dancer I’ve ever seen who looks like you’re dying from piles.

Ouch. Ian, for once, agrees with his sparring partner on the judging panel

“There was no redeeming factor in that audition.”

He isn’t the only one struggling, though. Northern Howard with the very spiky hair might have started his audition more impressively had he actual been able to get his leather jacket off during his dance routine.

Another who looks like he might be heading for embarrassment is Danny. He’s come to the auditions with most of his close family in tow and when he dries up on stage suffering from a severe stammer, you’re fearing the worst.

Instead, when he bursts into song, his powerful voice emerging from nowhere, it produces what is probably the first truly memorable moment of the series. His acting is equally assured and he’s sent on to boot camp - “where the serious work is going to start”. The audience now has its underdog to support and the show’s producers must be rubbing their hands with glee.

One has the feeling, though, that the auditions process has been very much focussed on the failures rather than the successes and one expects that there will be some new faces around when we get to boot camp next week.

We’re given a sneak peek of that process at the end of the show and I for one can’t wait to find out to whom David Ian is referring when he complains “she’s so common.”

The Doctor does a U-turn on his promise to give Martha one trip, and one trip only, in the TARDIS and the pair arrive on the planet of New Earth in the far, far, far, right a bit, go a bit further, far future. This is a nice throwback to the first series of the new Doctor Who, ticking all the right boxes again - contemporary Earth with alien threat (check); time travel to Earth’s past with sumptuous period detail and celebrity figure from history (check); jump forward to New Earth in the far future and show what the effects boys can do (check).

And that’s no bad thing as it often pays to revisit these standards, and as such, Gridlock takes the same futuristic backdrop as earlier episodes The End of the World and New Earth. It’s a neat way of getting the audience to swallow the often difficult pill of Doctor Who’s more sci-fi based, alien plots, something that Russell T Davies has always been (quite rightly) wary of. With a New Earth, we’ve already acclimatised to the other worldly setting, so onward with the story…

And Gridlock is disarmingly simple - as the streets of the under city of New New York become flooded with drugs that make emotions a high, people are heading to the motorway to get away to a better life, only to find that there isn’t a better life. The motorway has become one giant, multi-levelled, roofed in gridlock that passengers have been stuck in for decades. But what of those up top, in the Belsize Park of the city? Why aren’t they coming to help, and (because it’s Doctor Who, so there has to be something) what nastiness is hiding at the bottom of the gridlock?

Ruddy Hell! It’s Harry and Paul (Friday 9.30pm, BBC1)

Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse’s return to character-based sketch comedy could go either way. On the whole it’s very hit and miss (Laurel and Hardy in Brokeback Mountain does feel a bit out of date), but then, so is most sketch comedy, and Enfield and Whitehouse have a lot of experience in this genre. But if it doesn’t go to plan, these comedy legends could end up looking like your dad dancing at a wedding. Fingers crossed!

Derren Brown: Trick or Treat (Friday 10pm, C4)

I love Derren Brown, but remain surprised that some poor victim hasn’t decked him one yet on the grounds of smugness. Certainly, if he’d put me to sleep in a phone box and I woke up in Morocco I doubt I’d be particularly chuffed about it. Still, when you’re not on the receiving end of this highbrow Candid Camera, it’s bloody entertaining.

Peep Show (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

Ah, everybody take a deep breath. Peep Show only just scraped a recommission by the skin of its teeth, but it’s here, and there’s a further guaranteed series to come. Hurrah! Thanks to Mitchell and Webb’s increased profile, Peep Show should benefit well, and so it should. Since its first outing, this unique sitcom has been sharply written and entertainingly acted and deserves a continued presence in the schedules.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7.40pm, BBC1 – probably)

Unless the football overruns (and seriously, on Man United’s current form, it isn’t likely), the Doctor and Martha head to the planet of New Earth in the far future. Fact fans may remember that is where we met the cat nuns last year. There’s a nice sci-fi plot where the major road in the city of New New York has become one giant, many-levelled, gridlocked motorway, where people have literally lived in their hovercars for decades. There’s probably some clever social comment in here, but Doctor Who is about monsters, so it’s a relief when something nasty is revealed to be hiding in snapping distance of the fabled Fast Lane. Oh, and the Face of Boe turns up to deliver a message to the Doctor. It’s nice stuff, as always, but after the delicious high energy stuff of the last two weeks, the youngsters may get bored by some of the static nature of this episode. Still, it’s Daleks next week! Probably.

Any Dream Will Do (Saturday 8.25pm, BBC1)

The first live show kicks off and now we can get down to business as the 12 hopeful Josephs sing for their survival in what is gearing up to be an entertaining contest. For me, this has the edge over ITV’s Grease show, with Graham Norton always adding an irreverent edge to proceedings. The ratings for this week will be interesting come the overnights on Sunday morning.

Foyle’s War (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

I have quite a soft spot for Foyle’s War, and I greet what has been mooted to be the final episode of the wartime detective drama with sadness. In this Anthony Horowitz penned story, the work of an inventor contributing to the war effort is routinely sabotaged, but Foyle’s investigation isn’t helped by the arrogant professor. Oh, and there’s a murder which will no doubt tie in somewhere along the line, and if that wasn’t enough, Foyle’s goddaughter turns up on his doorstep and then promptly goes missing. Michael Kitchen makes it all look so effortless as he glides gently through the plot, and the period always looks so detailed and crisp. More please!

Superstorm (Sunday 9pm, BBC1)

There’s something entertainingly earnest about this almost sci-fi docudrama set in the near future about a team of scientists finding ways of diverting increasingly more ferocious hurricanes away from populated areas. Apparently in the future, we’ll all be using funky holographic projectors and talking VERY SERIOUSLY ABOUT EVERYTHING! And there’s something askew about the always-lovely Nicola Stephenson off of Brookside and City Lights being a tough-talking scientist. She’s very good, as only Stephenson can be, but it’s just wrong I tells you! If you can’t be bothered with the scenery chewing (and Tom Sizemore’s in it, leaving little for the rest of the cast), switch over at 10pm to BBC2 for The Science of Superstorms for a much more sensible look at the real science.

As tomorrow sees the first of the live Any Dream Will Do shows, it’s time we took a look at the twelve finalists. In a little over seven weeks’ time, one of them will have a contract to play Joseph in the West End. But which one? And how much training, if any, do they already have under their technicolor belt?

Antony Hansen, 17

Currently studying Performing Arts Theatre Studies and Music Technology at college. Although he has no formal acting training, he has been involved in amateur theatre since he was a small child.

Ben Ellis, 18

Currently studying Musical Theatre at the Italia Conti Academy of Theatre Arts

Chris Barton, 19

Currently studying for a National Diploma in Musical Theatre at Liverpool Theatre College.

Chris Crosby, 18

Attended Sylvia Young Theatre School from the age of 13.

Craig Chalmers, 25

A former contestant on the second series of Pop Idol, Craig has sung in a boyband supporting groups including Blue, the Sugababes and Girls Aloud. Currently sings with a male strip troupe.

Daniel Boys, 27

A graduate of the Guildford School of Acting. Daniel understudied Adam Rickett in Rent, has also appeared in Grease and has been singing from the age of seven.

Johndeep More, 23

Studied for a year at the Royal Academy of Music.

 Keith Jack, 19

Currently studying for an HNC in Musical Theatre at a college in Edinburgh.

Lee Mead, 25

A professional singer and actor for five years, with professional performances in The Phantom of the Opera, Tommy and Miss Saigon.

Lewis Bradley, 17

Studied at the Italia Conti Theatre Arts School from the age of 13.

Robert McVeigh, 23

Robert has no formal acting training other than a BTEC in drama. Performs with his local amateur operatic society.

Seamus Cullen, 35

Currently training to become a vocal coach.

Who would have thought that Ramsay Street could have the potential to be transformed into a television battleground? But, that’s exactly what could happen next year when the BBC’s contract to air Australian soap Neighbours expires. And now, ITV and Five are throwing their hats (and cheque books) into the ring, ready to swipe the Ramsay Street regulars from under Auntie’s nose.

Blimey, it’s like the lines and lines (and lines) of people queuing up outside my office to get into the new Primark that opened on TV’s London’s Oxford Street last week. Why all this fuss over something that is so undeniably cheap? Simple, ratings…

While Neighbours is a very long away from its heights of 18 million punters, it still pulls in a decent 3 million for the afternoon show, with around 2.5 for the evening repeat. That might not sound great, but at that time of the day, it’s nothing short of phenomenal. When shows on some of the big five terrestrials, for example Channel 4’s Get Your Act Together, polling significantly less than 1 million in prime time, it puts things in perspective.

Considering some recent egg on faces for Auntie, with the loss of the FA Cup a particular blow, it can ill afford to suffer another defeat. Neighbours is too valuable a commodity in the daytime schedules; it’s a time marker, a punctuation to the day for those at home. I’ve used it myself when confined to the house in freelance days as a signal to down tools for lunch. It’s ingrained there, the rest of the daytime schedule flowing organically around it.

ITV tried to crowbar Crossroads into the daytime schedule, and it just didn’t work. The soap is something that can anchor a schedule, and with Crossroads, the schedule should have worked for it, not the other way round.

But this should be a wakeup call for the BBC. Under the stewardship of Michael Grade, changes are already happening and a new, fitter, leaner ITV appears to be emerging.

Beware Auntie, they’re after you!

It’s that time of year again when the nominees for the Bafta TV Awards are unveiled for the media to dissect and discuss and cast their own opinions as to who will be the winners and losers on the night. Well, it would be rude to the buck the trend, so TV Today is doing the same…

Best Actor

• Jim Broadbent - Longford (Channel 4)
• Andy Serkis - Longford (Channel 4)
• Michael Sheen - Kenneth Williams: Fantabulousa! (BBC Four)
• John Simm - Life on Mars (BBC One)

The biggest surprise here is that Philip Glenister has not received a nod for his turn as Gene Hunt in Life on Mars, but I’ll have to take a deep breath and get over that one. The four actors selected provide a wide breadth of talent and it’s a tough one to call – my default setting is screaming John Simm, but I just don’t think he’s going to cut it this time round. This one, I feel, belongs to Jim Broadbent, and hopefully Channel 4 will show us why by rescheduling the repeat of Longford at their earliest convenience.

Best Actress

• Anne-Marie Duff - The Virgin Queen (BBC One)
• Samantha Morton - Longford (Channel 4)
• Ruth Wilson - Jane Eyre (BBC One)
• Victoria Wood - Housewife, 49 (ITV1)

A bit more of a mixed bag here, and I’ll immediately cast out Anne-Marie Duff and Ruth Wilson. No fault of their own (although I’ve never hugely rated Duff), but this is a two-horse race between Samantha Morton and Victoria Wood. Wood will get the popular vote and certainly deserves it – Housewife, 49 took her in a new and welcome direction, but she’s got some stiff competition. Samantha Morton provides a career best turn as Myra Hindley in Longford, so I’m predicting a double-header for the Channel 4 drama in the acting stakes.

Best Comedy Performance

• Dawn French - The Vicar of Dibley (BBC One)
• Ricky Gervais - Extras (BBC Two)
• Stephen Merchant - Extras (BBC Two)
• Liz Smith - The Royle Family: Queen of Sheba (BBC One)

I’m sick with the thought that Ricky Gervais might bag yet another Bafta. He clearly doesn’t even warrant a nomination for some fairly pedestrian work in Extras, where he was massively eclipsed by his partner in crime, Stephen Merchant. However, there can only be one winner here, and it isn’t the lady in the dog collar. Liz Smith, this one is for you. On a related note, why no Sue Johnston in this line-up?

Drama Series

• Life on Mars (BBC One)
• Sugar Rush (Channel 4)
• Shameless (Channel 4)
• The Street (BBC One)

Sorry, but just why has Shameless worked its way in here? It stopped doing anything remotely outstanding by the end of last series (despite hard work from a hugely talented cast), but it just seems a bit past it to truly deserve a nod. The Street has a lot to recommend it, but didn’t quite go all the way to brilliance, leaving Sugar Rush and Life on Mars. Again, the popular choice has to be Life on Mars (and it’s certainly what I want to win), but Sugar Rush could be a surprise success here.

Continuing Drama

• EastEnders (BBC One)
• Casualty (BBC One)
• Coronation Street (ITV1)
• Emmerdale (ITV1)

Casualty? Nah! EastEnders? Nah! Emmerdale? Maybe… Coronation Street? Most definitely!

Single Drama

• Housewife, 49 (ITV1)
• Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa! (BBC Four)
• Longford (Channel 4)
• The Road To Guantanamo (Channel 4)

A very strong line-up here, mirroring the quality present in the acting categories. All deserving of a gong, but ultimately, this should go to Longford. However, a win for Fantabulosa would be a fine accolade for drama on BBC4.

Situation comedy

• Green Wing (Channel 4)
• The IT Crowd (Channel 4)
• Pulling (BBC Three)
• The Royle Family: Queen of Sheba (BBC One)

The IT Crowd might have been recommissioned for a second run, but let’s face it, it came from a Channel 4 marking time until everybody decides to do a new series of Black Books. Pulling was nice, but Lead Balloon was better (and where is its nomination?), and The Royle Family should have been nominated in the single drama category as it transcends the comedy label so effortlessly. So that leaves Green Wing, but the Royles will almost certainly be triumphant here.

The awards will be announced on Sunday 20th May in a ceremony at the London Palladium.

Mark quite rightly enthused about it in this week’s Square Eyes column, but it seems that you won’t now be able to see Longford tomorrow night, even though we’ve just learned that it hjas been nominated for four BAFTA TV awards. In its place, Channel 4 have decided to show new drama The Mark of Cain instead.

Tony Marchant’s Iraq-based play, starring Shameless star Gerard Kearns, was originally pulled from its intended 5 April outing because of the then ongoing situation with the Royal Navy officers being held in Iran. Shortly after the decision to delay it, the hostages were released, so now Channel 4 have decided to show the film as quickly as possible instead of waiting for the original rescheduled date of 17 May.

We recommmended The Mark of Cain in our original preview of that week’s television, saying:

Privates Tate and Gulliver come face to face with the harsh realities of the peace keeping exercise in Iraq, finding moral dilemmas aplenty, and things are not helped by their off-centre Lance Corporal. As the situation in Iraq continues, this brilliant piece has nothing less than a chilling resonance, and makes you weep for Channel 4’s cost-cutting measures that could make this level of quality a thing of the past.

And that’s just as true. However, Lt Col Tim Collins, whose stirring speech to his troops on the eve of battle described those who took life needlessly as having ‘the Mark of Cain’ upon them, giving Marchant his title, disagrees with the film’s content. Writing in Radio Times prior to the original broadcast date, he said:

The Mark of Cain fails to capture the realities and the subtleties of the most disciplined and professional army in the world. Instead, it pandes to the popular prejudices against the British Army and what its soldiers do — a judgement made by our friends and enemies alike…

…Those who know the Army know that abuse such as depicted in The Mark of Cain is rare. So where does the perception of widespread abuse come from? Misreporting in the media…

…In Tony Marchant’s parallel universe, British soldiers inhabit some kind of holiday camp. He has missed completely the complex mood swings of the locals, and the strong and often confusing emotional attachments ordinary soliders form, not just with each other, but with the Iraqi civilians they have come to protect.

Tomorrow, we’ll all get a chance to make up our own minds. Or, if you don’t want to wait that long, the film has been available on DVD since Monday.

Life on Mars (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

And here we are, the final episode of one of the most imaginative and original dramas of the last decade. Tonight is the night when all is revealed, when we discover if Sam Tyler is back in a time, in a coma or just mad. The perceived wisdom on this second series is that it hasn’t reached the heights of the first, but I disagree. The IRA episode aside (which was decidedly average), series two has served up some fine pieces of drama and laughs aplenty, while serving the running story of Sam’s plight. In tonight’s closer, DCI Morton (a chilling Ralph Brown) tasks Sam with bringing down Gene Hunt’s corrupt reign over CID. Bring him to justice, and Sam gets to go home – to Hyde. This will keep you guessing right to the last few minutes, but rest assured, the climax is brave, breathtaking and not a little controversial. Just as it should be!

John Buchan: Master of Suspense (Tuesday 11.20, BBC2)

A cracking BBC 4 documentary that makes it over to 2, looking at the life and work of John Buchan, writer of The Thirty-Nine Steps. The documentary seeks to answer just why Buchan is so overlooked as one of the greats of thriller fiction, and largely succeeds in that aim.

Property Ladder (Wednesday 8pm, C4)

Oh joy! It’s the return of Sexy Property Expert Gives Advice to Stupid People Who Think They Know Better and Don’t Listen. It’s just as fab as always, with those barely perceptible aside glances to the camera by the wondrous Ms Beeny making the audience feel they’re in on the joke. With this and The Apprentice, Wednesdays are fast becoming a night for appointment telly.

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

A simple concept – take 200 quid of Alan Sugar’s money and use it to go and make more on your wits and ingenuity alone. Brilliant, sounds like an episode of Hustle. Will Jadine remain obsessed with Eclipse, will Tre argue with whoever is in charge, and will we discover that Margaret and Nick are writing love letters to each other in those notebooks? The path to working with all that top quality Amstrad gear is a long and winding road…

Hotel Babylon (Thursday 9pm, BBC1)

Just as Wednesdays are picking up nicely as a top night for viewing, Thursdays are about to get a little less shiny as Hotel Babylon takes its bow for the time being. You know what I think of Hotel Babylon – it’s never going to win any awards, but you just can’t help loving this mutton/lamb interface. Rebecca starts laying staff off in the face of a takeover by John Session’s tough talking hotelier. It’s all complete nonsense, of course, but the secret of this show’s success is that it knows it’s complete nonsense. Question is, will everybody make it to series three?

Longford (Thursday 9pm, C4)

If frothy silly drama isn’t your thing, then you’ll be thanking Channel 4 for a timely repeat of the excellent Longford. Jim Broadbent is truly magnificent as Lord Longford who spearheaded a campaign to have Myra Hindley released from prison as a reformed character. It’s all pitch perfect, from Broadbent’s quiet turn as the almost tragic Longford, to Samantha Morton and Andy Serkis as Hindley and Brady. Nothing less than stunning throughout and shows why it’s a crime for Channel 4 to be cutting the drama budget.

On to the second week of the selection process, and the interns who won a place at Joseph school are joined by not one, but two, of the previously failed auditionees who turned up in a completely unstaged way at Lloyd Webber’s office last week. Both Ian Roach and Neil Ward join the school, which seems to put out the noses of several of the other students. Didn’t they watch Maria? last year, when the same trick was pulled?

And so the lessons begin, with all the judges participating. And while, as you’d expect from a vocal audition process, the singing lessons seem to be going well, the same cannot be said of the dancing. It’s certainly painted as if none of them can dance, although I doubt that’s true. Similarly with the acting, there’s a concentration on the poor performances — though gladly we only see the grimaces of the judges, without noticing which boys are causing such reactions.

When Andrew Lloyd Webber arrives, he brings with him someone he describes as the “greatest ever Joseph” — something I’m sure will be open to much debate — in the form of Jason Donovan. This is supposed to be a confidence boost for the students, but looking at him, I’m not sure that “Look kids, this is how you could look in fifteen years” is going to do all that much for them. Still, it’s nothing compared to the not-altogether-unexpected news that half the intake are going to be leaving shortly.

As is the way of these things, it always seems as if the tension — the faux dramatic music, the “you could be Joseph” moments — are given way too much emphasis. Personally, I’d prefer those segments to be a little shorter — it wouldn’t be difficult to trim them down — and have a little more time with the performers. Seeing Johndeep struggle, then regain his confidence is far more interesting than watching John Barrowman strolling around tapping guys on their shoulders. Some of the never-going-to-be-Josephs haven’t even registered in the programme edit: wouldn’t it have been nice for the audience to have got to know more of the fifty students before they start getting rejected?

Anyway, come the second day and the dancing challenges, and the whole day seems to speed by until it’s time to say goodbye to another eight. After another sing-off for the final place, we end up with the twenty students who are to fly off to Lloyd Webber’s castle in Ireland. While it’s been a roller-coaster journey to get to this point, one can’t help feeling it’s just gone too quickly. There would surely have been another week’s worth of recorded shows in here, which would have felt less rushed. Then again, with Grease is the Word nipping at the BBC’s heels, maybe they just want to get to the live shows as quickly as possible.

Whatever the reason, there’s one thing noticeably missing from this show compared to last year’s Maria at this stage, and that’s the bitching. So many girls had personality clashes with Zoe Tyler — especially Emilie, who made the final ten but then dropped out before the first live show. There’s been none of that shown this year which, given the editors’ obvious love for melodrama, does imply that there hasn’t been. Indeed, throughout the Ireland segment there’s so much affection and support going on between the students that the whole thing verges on homoeroticism with show tunes thrown in. Not that that’s a bad thing…

Again, the actual performance element seems rushed — although, given that Louis Walsh is part of the audience and the BBC seem to revel in his availability, that’s actually quite a blessing. And yet again, the deliberations and the judgements are given a huge chunk of screen time. And after umpteen years of Pop Idols, of X Factors and the like, it’s almost becoming as predictable as a Casualty injury-of-the-week scene: have the first few going through, then a clump of failures, then drip feed the rest until there are three contestants left, with two places. And really, by this stage, who expects the third-from-last to be rejected, ensuring that the last two both get in? That’s right, of course he gets in, ensuring that the final two boys are fighting for a single place.

There’s a reason for the structure, though — it works like a charm, every time. And so we end up with twelve lads, each with their own strengths, for whom the public will be voting from next week’s first live show. We’ll have a full rundown of the contenders later in the week, but for now I’ll say that it’s reassuring to see that so many of the finalists are already enrolled in musical theatre courses around the country. For all these shows’ claims that they are looking far and wide for a new star, in the end it comes down to something simple: to succeed in the business, you need both talent and training.

It’s somehow appropriate that it’s David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor who becomes the first to meet William Shakespeare (at least on screen). More than any other, this incarnation of Doctor Who revels in wordplay, and in Gareth Roberts’ rollocking script he certainly meets his match.

In a story that is all about the power of words, the dialogue must surely come under some scrutiny. And while on first hearing it may sound light and frothy — simplistic, even — there is much going on from the very first scene, with one of several Shakespearean quotes (“O brave new world”) that are dotted liberally throughout, and not always signposted for the casual viewer. Not least there is the continued bedding-in of Freema Agyeman as the Doctor’s new companion, Martha. We begin to see that, no matter how well she does or what clever leaps of logic she can make, the Doctor clearly misses the empathic nature of previous companion, Rose — appropriately given the nature of the episode, she’s described as being able to say exactly the right words.

Just one week after Andrew Lloyd Webber opened his latest search for a West End star, David Ian - one time producing partner of the Lord’s on The Sound of Music - offers us his version of the the TV talent hunt .

He’s looking for a Danny and Sandy for his new production of Grease - “the biggest musical in the world”, or so we are repeatedly told. It’s not quite How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? though. This is ITV and we’re firmly in X-Factor territory.

So first up in front of our judges - the aforementioned ‘money man’ Ian, ‘cutting edge choreographer’ Brian Friedman, eighties ‘pop legend’ Sinitta and ‘multimillionaire producer’ David Gest - is John from Woking.

Dear, dear John. He really shouldn’t be there. He can’t dance, he can’t sing, he can’t act and well, lets just be kind and say he doesn’t really look the part either. As Ian observes, “I thought your dance was terrible and that was the best thing about your audition.”

At least Ian is straight with the poor lad. Sinitta and Friedman just giggle behind their clip boards. It’s not very dignified.

Week 1 of the series is very much an X-Factor facsimile, if an entertaining one. Ian perseveres with his Simon Cowell impersonation and, true to form, the auditions continue with the prerequisite string of no-hopers with a sprinkling of talent. All this is interspersed with shots of the waiting room, which looks like a mass congregation of stag and hen nights.

So, what of the more successful entrants? Jade from Essex certainly looks the part, as Ian grateful acknowledges, and she can sing, while Alison from Liverpool gets the big man’s seal of approval as well. There’s also some male eye-candy on show for Sinitta to enjoy with Danny from South London looking like a good bet for the part.

The question which one undoubtedly has to ask, though, is - is this really a good initiative for future of the UK theatre?

Well, it’s not an easy question to answer. Unlike How do you Solve a Problem Like Maria?, and Any Dream Will Do on BBC1, there is little attempt to distinguish the show from the likes of an X-Factor and a Pop Idol. The judges are occasionally mean for the sake of being mean and one can tell that on occasion it really is more about creating entertaining TV, than finding real performers - or at least for three of the four judges.

Indeed, some might complain that the show, certainly in its early stages, relies on public humiliation to generate entertainment. Then again, if the show proves popular - and there’s nothing in the first episode to say that it won’t be - it could help find a new audience for musical theatre. Surely that can’t be a bad thing.

I suspect that it will all come down, as with Maria, to the quality of performer discovered at the end of the process. Although, with the tone of this first show, I wouldn’t be too surprised if Grease is the Word comes in for a bit more flack from the industry than it’s slightly more cuddly BBC1 counterpart.

I suppose, we’ll just have to wait and see. More auditions next week, but I’d guess it will really start to become interesting when we get to bootcamp.

In a shock move, popular comedy series The Benny Hill Show has been axed!

Oh. Hang on…

No, we haven’t ended up in an episode of Life on Mars, it seems the news is true – in America, at least. BBC America, Auntie’s US based commercial channel, is attempting to go upmarket by ditching shows such as Benny Hill in favour of modern shows that more accurately represent the state of British TV.

All I can say is, God help America! In the right time and the right place, Benny Hill still has something to offer audiences (when I’ve worked out what it is, I’ll let you know, after I’ve stopped slapping this little bald man). But if something still works, stick with it. What’s the point of upsetting your loyal audience by chucking out the baby with the bathwater? Witness all that bother when the channel tried to get rid of EastEnders a few years back.

This move is all part of BBC America’s new president, Garth Ancier’s attempts to reposition the channel, saying:

“From now on BBC America will focus exclusively on bringing US audiences the very best in contemporary British programmes including a greater emphasis on our world-renowned news coverage.”

And just what does “the very best in contemporary British programmes” actually mean? Well, out on their ear are the aforementioned Mr Hill, along with Are You Being Served?, Keeping Up Appearances, The Avengers and As Time Goes By. Taking up the slack to fit in with Ancier’s dynamic new vision will be… Torchwood, Hotel Babylon and erm… Hollyoaks.

One and a half out of three isn’t bad, I suppose. Hotel Babylon is fair game (no laughing at the back there), Torchwood scrapes through on high hopes for a retooled second season, but Hollyoaks? Hollyoaks!?! The best in contemporary British programmes? Somebody, somewhere, is having a laugh.

The case for the prosecution rests, m’lud. I think I’ll stick to Benny Hill.

US trade publication Variety reports that ITV has bought the formats to a new singing-based gameshow, based solely on a paper outline of the concept.

The Great American Singing Bee starts with 28 contestants on stage. Elimination takes place over a series of rounds, where contestants have to sing a word, phrase or verse of an entire song, depending on the round.

The report suggests that ITV will film a 90-minute ‘backdoor pilot’ as a one-off for a Saturday night slot.

“It’s a musical gameshow where you don’t have to know any trivia or know how to sing,” says format developer Phil Gurin.

Only ITV could pick up a show based on musical knowledge, where lack of knowledge or musical ability were touted as virtues by the creator…

The news that Aardman Features, makers of Chicken Run, Curse of the Were-Rabbit and Flushed Away, have signed a three-year ‘first look’ deal with Sony Pictures is, strictly speaking, outside TV Today’s remit.

Except that, while most other publications have been regurgitating the press release, we have an extra snippet of news for you. And that concerns the studio’s breakout stars, the cheese-loving Wallace and Gromit.

Our Aardman insider emailed us earlier with this interesting snippet:

Nick Park is currently writing a new Wallace and Gromit adventure, when he’s finished the script he will decide if it is a feature film or a TV Special.

We will shortly be announcing our new feature film titles with synopses, when these are ready I’ll email them to you.

Now, given that every single Wallace and Gromit film has been represented at the Oscars, with only A Grand Day Out failing to win a coveted golden statue, it’s perhaps be folly to suggest that Nick Park is about to turn his back on the Academy. But both The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave were produced in association with the BBC, who have also enjoyed recent success with the spin-off yarns of Shaun The Sheep. So it may well be that West Wallaby Street’s finest residents are back on the small screen in the not-too-distant future.

Just don’t hold your breath — given the rate at which stop-frame animation works, it could be quite a while…

I’ve read it several times, and each time it’s the same. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Nobody would be that stupid, that unimagintive. Would they? Ah, it seems I’m wrong…

Yes, you lucky things, tonight at 8pm, if you switch to Channel 4, you’ll have the, no doubt, intense pleasure of watching…

Selling Houses Abroad

Today, a little bit of television died for me. With this dull, plodding, does-what-it-says-on-the-tin title, I’ve realised that programme makers have officially stopped giving a toss. They are laughing at us! Fair enough, you know what you’re getting when you tune in. After all, it is a show, literally, about selling houses abroad. But come on, let’s have a little effort to show that you care.

At least Relocation, Relocation and Property Ladder attempt to to tart up proceedings and put some pizazz into their titles (although there’d be something quite appealing about a show called Sexy Property Expert Gives Advice to Stupid People Who Think They Know Better and Don’t Listen).

Satire has come full circle, with the latest comedy golden boys, Mitchell and Webb, lampooning the glut of property/holiday shows in both their radio and television shows not so long back, with such classics as Coverage of People Buying Houses and Then Living in Them, or Coverage of People Booking Holidays and Then Going on Them. (There’s a classic episode of the latter in which there’s a problem with a booking reference, but thankfully it gets sorted and they go on the holiday. Phew!)

Right, if anybody needs me, I’ll be in the corner watching Coverage of Fictional People Living in the EastEnd.

Totally Doctor Who (Monday 5pm, BBC1)

This kiddie friendly magazine programme gives the little ‘uns an extra fix of Who fun, but I find the irritating presence of presenter Barney Harwood makes this largely unwatchable. However, this edition sees the first part of a new 13 episode animated adventure for the Doctor and Martha, voiced by David Tennant and Freema Agyeman, which makes things more than worthwhile, even for the adults.

Coronation Street (Monday 7.30/8.30pm ITV1)

A joyous pair of episodes that will be unbcorked as vintage Corrie in years to come. Tracy Barlow faces her fate as the jury complete their deliberations. Tracy is one of those soap characters that treads a fine line between pantomime camp and tragic realism, and it’s to the testament of Kate Ford that neither school wins. Two endings to this storyline have been filmed, and nobody knows whether the Barlow minx is going down or going away, but the aftermath for the family is going to be explosive. For now, revel in some top soap action and say goodbye to a Coronation Street original

Greg Dyke on Reith (Monday 10pm, BBC1)

One half serious examination of the life and work of Lord Reith, the architect of the BBC’s public service ideal, one half naval gazing self-obsessed guff on the part of Greg Dyke who brings his own four years at the Beeb into the mix. Frankly, I don’t care about that; I just want to hear about Reith (which when it happens is very, very good). At some point, Mr Dyke, you really are going to have to get over it.

Shrink Rap (Monday 11pm, More4)

Dr Pamela Connolly/Stephenson (I forget which name she goes by these days) interviews a different celebrity throughout the week, starting with Sharon Osbourne, who gets a bit teary. It’s interesting, but it smacks of the kind of show that Chris Morris would have parodied on The Day Today.

Life on Mars (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

The best episode (so far) of this second series that sees Gene Hunt on a murder charge and delves into the relationship between Sam and his DCI. Questions, questions, questions, mostly provided by the presence of acting DCI Morton (Ralph Brown) who seems to know about Sam’s plight. The sight of Gene dressed as Tufty the Squirrel is a nice comedy moment, but the final line of the episode will have you screaming with frustration. Don’t worry, there’ll only be seven days to go until the resolution. Marvellous stuff, and thankfully the ratings have picked up to healthier levels.

F* Off, I’m Ginger (Tuesday 9pm, BBC3)

Mmm, BBC3 at its highbrow best…

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

After last week’s adventures in the coffee trade, Alan Sugar’s motley band of apprentices are charged with coming up with something really special to do with dogs (?!). Everybody is still jostling for position, but Jadine’s obsession with “the Eclipse experience” continues unabated, and Tre is rapidly becoming this year’s Syed.

City Lights (Wednesday 9pm, ITV1)

Robson Green and Mark Benton return for a new series of the rivalry comedy drama that sees a format tweak. Colin and Howard are forced into a witness protection scheme after witnessing a murder, causing them to up sticks and head to the big city. It has that lack lustre ITV drama feel to it, but is often worthwhile for Green and Benton’s engaging turns.

Get a Grip (Wednesday 10pm, ITV1)

Ben Elton teamed with Popworld’s Alexa Chung, stuck behind a desk and casting a satirical look at seemingly anything. Um… Sounds great. Oooh, ITV, you do confuse me, you really do. Just who are you appealing to here?

Deadline (Wednesday 10pm, ITV2)

As a sometime magazine hack myself, I’m quite intrigued by this show that dumps 10 celebrities into the deep end of putting together a weekly gossip magazine. The stroke that could very well be genius here? Appointing the formidable Janet Street-Porter as editor. This might just be a cult slow burner.

The Mark of Cain (Thursday 9pm, C4)

A stunningly brutal drama from the pen of Tony Marchant that sees Shameless actor Gerard Kearns break free of the Gallaghers to show his acting chops as a green soldier serving his first tour in Basra. Privates Tate and Gulliver come face to face with the harsh realities of the peace keeping exercise in Iraq, finding moral dilemmas aplenty, and things are not helped by their off-centre Lance Corporal. As the situation in Iraq continues, this brilliant piece has nothing less than a chilling resonance, and makes you weep for Channel 4’s cost-cutting measures that could make this level of quality a thing of the past.

Jim’ll Fix it Strikes Again (Thursday 9pm, UKTV Gold)

Jimmy Saville returns to preside over this retrospective show in the style of Wogan: Now and Then. Good fun in a cheap kind of way, but the best thing to come out of this was the soap on a roap ‘Jim Fixed it For Me’ medal we received in the post to publicise the show.

TV Now and Then (Thursday 9.30pm, UKTV Gold)

Les Dennis presides over this nostalgic quiz show based on classic television of days gone by. One for TV dafties like me…

Welcome to a new, it-may-become-regular-if-you-like-it preview of the latest TV shows to hit DVD this week.

The Thick Of It - Series 1

Americans had The West Wing, presenting its politicians as liberal idealists who only want to do the best for their country. We present politicians as idiots, who have devolved the real power to civil servants and, in the case of The Thick of It, policy advisers and media experts.

Here, Chris Langham is the bumbling MP Hugo Abbot, who continually finds himself up against the machinations of the Prime Minister’s enforcer, played by Peter Capaldi as a foul-mouthed rottweiler. Not so much Yes, Minister as F*** Off, Whoever You Are.

This DVD includes 30 minutes of deleted scenes, cast/crew audio commentaries, a script-to-screen guide with producer Armando Iannucci, and production and rehearsal photo galleries (with commentary).

Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride

2006’s Christmas special of Doctor Who starred Catherine Tate as Donna, a bride who walks up the aisle only to find herself transported not only into the TARDIS, but into a plan to unleash a horde of galactic space spiders from inside the centre of the Earth. The first few minutes aren’t too promising — as Tate is forced to shout most of her lines, she comes across as a bigger version of Lauren in a wedding dress. But once the script calms down, she’s able to introduce some decent characterisation in alongside the joke-filled dialogue.

There’s a real sense of Hepburn and Tracy in Donna and the Doctor’s fractious relationship which works well. Throw in an unrecognisable Sarah Parish as the giant, spider-like Empress of the Racnoss, plenty of jokes and at least one clue to Series 3’s ongoing storyline, and you get a good Christmas evening romp. Not quite so appealing in April, maybe, but it’s still great fun.

The absolute highlight, though, is the included Doctor Who Confidential: Music and Monsters, which goes behind the scenes not only at the filming of the Christmas special, but also at a Children in Need concert celebrating Murray Gold’s music for the new series. It’s a wonderful hour, and makes you realise just how symphonic the series’ soundtrack has become since it returned.

No commentaries or other extras on this disc.

 Persuasion

Yes, the final film in ITV’s Jane Austen season may have only been broadcast last night, but it’s already to buy on shiny disc if you want to keep it, and have a permanent record of Rupert Penry-Jones in breeches. No extras.

 Dancing On Ice, Series 2

Much as I enjoyed dipping into this series, I’m at a loss to wonder quite who would want to buy a disc of edited highlights for viewing all year round.

Wedding Belles

As with Persuasion, Wedding Belles was only aired last week (and is still available on Channel 4’s 4OD service), yet it’s already pushed out on to DVD. What, no endless schedule-filling repeats on E4 and/or More4?

Regardless, Irvine Welsh and Dean Cavanagh’s black comedy has been one of the TV highlights of the year to date, and stands up to repeated viewings.

Also released this week:

• Victoria Wood - As Seen On TV - a welcome issue on DVD of the complete series, rather than the previously-available “best of” compilation
• New Street Law
• Midsomer Murders: The Fourth Collection - A Further 10 Investigations