October 2007 Archives

Hello and a sad goodbye (updated)

Soapland (don’t you just love that name?) is all aquiver with the news that Bianca Jackson/Butcher, as played by Patsy Palmer, is to return to EastEnders next Spring. Hurrah! If that wasn’t enough, 24 hours later, it was announced that Sid Owen would be joining her as former hubby Ricky (aka Rickaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!). If not a hurrah, then definitely a polite round of applause. Bianca without Ricky is like Ant without the, um, other one.

Spooks 6.3

Oh dear. After two stunning episodes (read the reviews of episodes 6.1 and 6.2) we were plunged into a mish-mash of hokum, continuity problems and conspiracy theories. Please God that this is an aberration, and we can return to the suspense of the first two.

Strictly Come Dancing, Week 4

Strictly Come Dancing on TV Today

Oh my. Whoever thought that a light entertainment show in its fifth series would provoke such discussion? It’s not hard to see why Strictly Come Dancing is pulling in more viewers than the increasingly tired X Factor, if it can produce drama such as this.

But first, to the dances. This week saw possibly the best combination of ballroom and Latin dances, with the elegance and flair of the American Smooth paired up with the Samba. And, as each contestant’s third competitive dance, for many it meant their first dance in a completely new discipline.

Poor baby...

So axed X Factor contestant Daniel De Bourg thinks his exit from the show last Saturday was down to a conspiracy, possibly created by Simon Cowell. Cowell, he claims saw him as a threat to his own acts remaining in the competition.

Square Eyes 29 October - 1 November

Food Poker (Monday 4.30pm, BBC2)

Shudder, the lowest point in TV light entertainment has finally been reached. See here for my initial reaction to the press release of this new cookery show format.

The Sarah Jane Adventures (Monday 5pm, BBC1)

Wash away the foul taste of Food Poker with a bit of entertaining adventure drama courtesy of those nice people at BBC Wales.

Doc Martin (Monday 9pm, ITV1)

With the currently stellar ratings this ITV drama is pulling, Martin Clunes is certainly doing something right as the miserable medic, administering his bedside manner to the residents of a Cornish village. Perhaps it’s the central will they/won’t they relationship between Martin and Louisa (Caroline Katz)… Well, this is definitely a “will they” scenario now, so in the law of TV relationship averages of a Moonlighting/Lois and Clark variety, the ratings will have crashed to nothing about halfway through the next series. Still, there is a lot to like here, from great scenery to a great cast, so onwards and upwards. And while we’re here, I’m still waiting for the second series of Distant Shores, starring Peter Davison and Samantha Bond. Perhaps the concept is a touch too close to Doc Martin, but the second series was filmed and apparently shelved by ITV, and leaves one wondering why…

Fanny Hill (Monday 9pm, BBC4)

Ah, this is the stuff! An Andrew Davies bodice ripper from the top drawer of literary adaptations. This second part whips along at a fair old pace, and quite succinctly allows BBC4 to earn its keep in the face of BBC cuts. Fanny is left destitute by the departure of Charles, but soon finds herself mistress to a mysterious toff. It’ll all go horribly wrong, mark my words.

Spooks (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

It’s Tuesday, 9 o’clock on BBC1. I knew you’d be here. The first two episodes of the new series of Spooks has certainly set the bar high, and the third looks in no danger of letting up the tension and pace. With Zaf still out there somewhere (probably), Ros is put under torture by a rival government, which leads her to be tempted into turning double agent. Meanwhile, Harry and Adam do whatever it is they do, and the team are still being outfoxed by the mysterious Copenhagen. Me, I’m just agog with joy at the addition of Gemma Jones to the regular cast.

Property Ladder (Tuesday 8pm, C4)

I’m hoping the divine Ms Beeny has added some new expressions to her repertoire of despair when the (mostly) stupid people entering into some crazy property development wheeze do something monumentally stupid. Never has a presenter had such a fantastic relationship with the camera than Sarah, and never have so many idiotic people been hoist by their own petard. Whatever that means – it sounds vaguely property related.

Roger Cook’s Greatest Hits (Tuesday 9pm, ITV1)

He was something of a legend back in the day, and so it’s good to see Roger Cook returning to follow up some of his greatest stories and see just what has changed in the decade or so since he stopped door-stepping some nasty pieces of work.

Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday, C4, 9pm)

Much like Sarah Beeny, Gordon Ramsay has hit upon a tireless formula to showcase just how stupid people entering into huge financial commitments can be. Case in point here is a man who buys a seafood restaurant… and he hates fish. Tireless as this great TV format is, I hope Mr R has found a new shtick than just f-ing at the camera for want of anything better to say.

National Television Awards (Wednesday 8.30pm, ITV1)

Will it be three years on the trot for Doctor Who? Will Lee Mead be triumphant over Paul Potts? Will Lacey Turner get yet another award for being a gobby soap character (cos we’ve never had any of those). Will I have tea or coffee in the ad break? Does anybody actually care?

Heroes (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

Oh go on then.

The Screen Wipe Guide to TV (Wednesday 11.50pm, BBC2)

30 minutes in the company of Charlie Brooker? I’ll be there, will you join me?

Britz (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

A hard-hitting piece of drama that focuses on a British-Muslim brother and sister relationship. The brother, a law student, finds himself working for MI5, while his medical student sister becomes increasingly angered at the actions of the British government and its foreign policy. It’s a fascinating, compelling piece, and a brave piece of drama output from C4. Concludes tomorrow.

30 Rock (Thursday 10.40pm, Five)

Quite possibly my favourite thing on TV right now, and how often do you get to say that about Five, eh? In America, it’s forming part of the NBC’s Comedy Night Done Right strand, alongside The Office and My Name is Earl. Aw, bless NBC, it hasn’t quite got over the loss of its stellar line-up that made Thursdays Must-See TV, but the network seems to be taking steps in the right direction at the moment. 30 Rock has some great, frothy writing, fun background characters, and in Alec Baldwin, one of the great comedy finds of recent years.

Channel 4 at 25: Cheers (Thursday 11pm, More 4)

Cheers did the Friends thing for C4 long before Friends was but a glint in the writers’ eyes. A stable of the channel’s Friday night line-up from very early on, it was only the arrival of Frasier that helped ease the wounds of its passing. Any opportunity to see an episode of Cheers should be taken, and this is particular poignant, being the final episode.

Strictly Come Dancing: You be the judge, week 4

Strictly Come Dancing on TV Today

First off, apologies for the lack of a Week 3 report from myself — so far, at least. I was out on Sunday night, and the names I was calling my Sky+ box when I came back to see the ominous word FAILED against the results show — well, they’re not for a family-friendly audience, let’s put it that way. I now have laid my hands on a copy of said show, so may well get round to finishing off my last week’s review tonight or tomorrow.

Back to this week:

Come back here after the Saturday and Sunday shows to give your own verdicts — and I promise that I’ll be less tardy with my round-up this time!

Square Eyes 26-28 October

The Tudors (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

After just this week being subjected to Jonathan Rhys Meyers quite, quite ghastly showing in Woody Allen’s Match Point, the thought of watching anything with him in ever again turns my blood cold. Still, there’s something quite attractive about this silly, trashy piece of historical drama that has about as much connection to fact as Hyperdrive did to humour. And there’s still six episodes to go.

The Armstrong and Miller Show (Friday 9.30pm, BBC1)

Sketch comedy is largely a hit and miss affair, but Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller certainly have pedigree, and their time apart as comedy partners should make this quite fresh. This is solid line and line length comedy, so let’s hope the lads can keep the quality up over the next six weeks.

Comedy Showcase: The Eejits (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

Hmmm, a comedy about two Irish musicians called The Eejits. Should I be worried? Probably.

Robin Hood (Saturday 7.15pm, BBC1)

Despite all my misgivings, I must confess a soft spot for this Saturday teatime drama. It’s only a small one mind, but I can’t help feeling for the most part that Robin Hood’s heart is in the right place. I also realise that there’s no point in complaining about the shortcomings of the series’ lead as, clearly, Jonas Armstrong is here to stay. This week Ralf Little guest-stars as Joseph, who is in cahoots with the Sheriff to spread a pestilence through the streets of Nottingham. Oooh, some post 9/11 terror parallels there – somebody should tell the writer that Spooks tried a virus story last week.

Smiley’s People (Saturday 7pm, BBC4)

Not quite as good as its precursor, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, nonetheless this is a very welcome rerun for Smiley’s People. Alec Guinness is note perfect as the retired spymaster George Smiley, and his performance alone is worth tuning in for. The fact the supporting cast lists Alan Bates, Sian Phillips and Bernard Hepton among its number is just the icing on the cake.

Elizabeth (Saturday 9.05pm, C4)

With Elizabeth: the Golden Age hitting cinemas, this is a timely showing of Cate Blanchett’s first stunning turn as the Virgin Queen. Sumptuous and rich, this is fine way to spend two-and-a-half hours.

Most Haunted Live: Halloween 2007 (Saturday 9pm, Living)

Oh my, is this still on? I thought audiences had seen through the paper-thin fakery years ago. Even so, there’s still a certain hokey charm to see grown-ups running around darkened rooms and trying to out-scare each other, and Yvette Fielding still manages to keep things together. This year’s series of live shows finishes on Wednesday – Halloween. Bwa ha ha!

Long Way Down (Sunday 9pm, BBC2)

Hurrah! Following the cracking Long Way Round, in which Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman biked their way from England to New York, this time they’re heading from John o’Groats to South Africa, once again astride very large motorbikes. Highly entertaining, but there’s also an incredible injection of drama to the proceedings, starting with one of the pair breaking a leg before having driven anywhere. To keep the suspense, I’m not telling you who.

Half Broken Things (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Based on Morag Joss’s novel, Penelope Wilton stars in this deft thriller as Jean, a house sitter who starts to envelope herself in fantasy as she inhabits the manor house she is looking after as if it were her own. A chance encounter with a young couple gives Jean an idyll she’s never had – family – but, as is the way with these things, nothing is quite what it seems. This is rather good, and let’s face it, anything with Penelope Wilton is always worth a look.

The Sopranos (Sunday 10.30pm, E4)

It is the end. No reprieves, reunions or sequels. The Sopranos is dead, long live The Sopranos! One of the greatest pieces of drama finally comes to an end in an episode that has split fans and critics alike and is still being debated long after it aired in the States. Will it be what you wanted? Will it be what you expected? Will you gnash your teeth in frustration or nod sagely as the credits role? One thing is certain, it’s over. Will we ever see its like again? Probably, but not for a very long time.

Spooks 6.2

As the weaponised virus started to infect the inhabitants of London, Harry and the team embarked on a dangerous plan to find which country may have supplied the bioweapon to Iran in the first place — abducting senior spies from each candidate country.

Neil Gaiman: I want to work with the BBC again

Author Neil Gaiman, creator of fantastic worlds ranging from the Sandman graphic novels to current feature film hit Stardust (the screenplay, written by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughan, is based upon Gaiman’s novella of the same name) has stated that he wants to work with the BBC again.

Although he has worked with the World Service to produce a radio adaptation of recent novel Anansi Boys, his last television work for the Corporation was 1996’s Neverwhere. Says Gaiman:

Things have changed so much. The BBC, bless their little cotton socks, now like fantasy and now like me a lot and I would love to do something more for them. I’ve been in talks with the BBC for about two years about doing an original fantasy series for them, which I keep putting off because my plate is so full. I think it’s time to clear some plate for them.

Russell T Davies' new gay drama

Media Guardian reports that Russell T Davies, executive producer and lead writer of Doctor Who, is developing a new drama about gay men for the Corporation.

“It’s going to be about fortysomething gay men and how jealous they are of gay teenagers,” Davies said in an interview with the Guardian on Saturday. “I’ve been longing to write something for adults.”

In the interview, Davies said that the inspiration for the new drama is a friend, a former Mr Gay UK, who split up from his boyfriend.

“He asked me: ‘Why are so many gay men so glad we split up?’ That remark’s stayed with me for six years. I think there’s a self-punishing streak in that gladness and I want to explore it.”

Not that this should be much surprise: the project, which has been colloquially referred to as ‘MGM’ (More Gay Men), has been talked about for years — but over a year ago, Media Guardian themselves asserted that it would be made with Red Production Company, Nicola Shindler’s indie which has produced Davies shows Queer As Folk, Bob and Rose, The Second Coming, Mine All Mine and Casanova.

Fingers crossed Russell and Nicola will be back working together soon…

Square Eyes: 22-25 October

Fanny Hill Episode 1 of 2 Monday, 9pm BBC4
John Cleland’s saucy 18th Century novel gets the Andrew Davies adaptation treatment. An outrageously upstanding cast of actors supports Rebecca Knight as the titular prostitute, making this digital drama far classier than ITV2’s Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Sorry, Billie (and Belle)…

Russell Brand’s Ponderland daily from Monday, 10.35pm Channel 4
For some reason, Russell Brand has struggled with most, if not all, of his non-Big Brother related TV shows. Hopefully, this series, which sees Brand pontificate on various subjects through the use of odd archive clips, will do slightly better. Not quite sure why this is going out nightly, though…

Comedy Lab daily from Monday, 11.05pm Channel 4
…although this may explain it: a series of comedy pilots also being shown nightly. Not to be confused with Comedy Showcase, the series of sitcom pilots also running on Channel 4 on Friday nights.

Spooks Episode 2 of 10 Tuesday, 9pm BBC1
The pace doesn’t let up at all this week, as Harry and the team struggle to contain the biological agent loose on the streets of London. Harry enlists the help of retired field agent — and old flame? — Connie (Gemma Jones) and some very unorthodox interrogation techniques to track down a possible antidote. The biggest question of all, though, is what the hell Miranda Raison’s stylist was thinking?

Imagine… Henry Perkins: Bolshoi Boy Tuesday, 10.35pm BBC1
16-year-old Henry Perkins is only the second British boy dancer to train at Moscow’s Bolshoi ballet academy in its 230-year history. Alan Yentob’s arts series returns with a documentary looking at Perkins and his dance teacher, Ilya Kuznetsov.

Clive James Talking in the Library: Catherine Tate Wednesday, 7.30pm Sky Arts
There’s far more to Tate than her sketch show characters, as this interview proves.

Frankenstein Wednesday, 9pm ITV1
Jed Mercurio (Cardiac Arrest, Bodies) writes and directs this retelling of Mary Shelley’s classic, its setting changed to the near future. Helen McCrory is Victoria Frankenstein, whose genetic experiments result in her spawning of a monster… Neil Pearson, James Purefoy and Lindsay Duncan also star.

30 Rock Thursday, 10.40pm Five
The BBC2 trails are right, Thursdays are funny. Just not on BBC2 itself. If you haven’t yet caught this US sitcom import, it’s not too late. Better in almost every way than the similarly-themed drama Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, not least because Studio 60 doesn’t have Alec Baldwin.

Strictly Come Dancing: You be the judge, week 3

Strictly Come Dancing on TV Today

Right, after two weeks of only half the field dancing, from now on all the dancing partners will be in competition every week. To that end, this week’s score sheet (124Kb PDF) is now two pages long. I’ve added some space to make notes for Sunday’s dance-off. Also, there’s a note of each couple’s previous scores from the judges, so you can see how they’re improving (or not) each week.

As usual, you can use this blog post to comment on the show prior to my review. Oh, and if you’re interested in winning a copy of the Strictly Come Dancing Official Annual 2008 (and you so are, I can tell), just nip along to http://www.thestage.co.uk/win/ and answer the question!

Square Eyes: 19-21 October

Ugly Betty Friday, 9pm Channel 4
Six Feet Under’s Freddy Rogriguez makes his debut tonight as Gio, a sandwich salesman who makes Betty’s head turn. Elsewhere, Justin tries (and fails) to play basketball as a way of remembering his late father, while Mark helps Amanda in her quest to find fame as Fey Sommers’ illegitimate daughter. As always, fine, fine comedy drama that has more laughs than most sitcoms and more tugs of the heart than many dramas.

The X Factor Saturday, 5.45pm & 10pm ITV1
The first of this year’s live shows, and we’ll find out whether the new four-judge format works — and how Dermot O’Leary copes with a live studio audience. He’s shown his mettle in the empathic side of following the audition stages, but a hyped-up whooping crowd of harpies (and, behind the judges, a crazed audience) is another matter.

Strictly Come Dancing Saturday, 5.45pm & Sunday, 6.50pm, BBC1
All twelve contestants dance in competition this week, performing either a tango or a jive. Keep tuned to our Strictly Come Dancing pages for your week 3 score card, which I’ll be putting online later today.

Rugby World Cup Final: England v South Africa Saturday, 7.45pm ITV1
Thirty men in very tight fitting shirts and shorts get muddy together, thrusting their heads between each others’ hips and playing with balls. And they say Strictly Come Dancing has gay appeal…

Drop Dead Gorgeous Sunday, 9pm BBC3
The final episode of the second series, and Murray is trying to keep a lod on Ashley’s affair, while the whole family move into the house of Pauline’s dreams. This show has proven to be one of the strongest things to come out of BBC Three; I hope that Sinead Moynihan’s new role in Hollyoaks doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the road for the Runcorn supermodel.

Catwalk Dogs Sunday, 9pm, ITV1
This one-off comedy from Simon Nye sees putative stars Kris Marshall and Geeorgia Mackenzie upstaged at every turn by Archie, a small but extremely lovable fox terrier. This lightweight romcom set in the world of dog shows is certainly no Best In Show, but as a lightweight trifle on which to end the weekend, it seems to be pitched perfectly.

Strictly Come Dancing Live, part 2: The host and (most of) the men

Some more details are emerging about next year’s Strictly Come Dancing: the Live Tour.

The live events will be hosted by former X Factor host Kate Thornton. The various message boards I keep an eye on have been bitching about this appointment, but I met Kate on the set of Viewer of the Year last December, and she was great. She had a real rapport with the audience which didn’t always come across when presenting the Cowell-fest.

Three of the male competitors have been announced: from this series, Matt Di’Angelo, Series 3 champion Darren Gough and Series 1 runner-up Christopher Parker. Parker was rubbish for most of his tenure on the show, only really starting to dance properly in the semi-finals. If he takes the live shows seriously, he could be fun to watch. Gough deserved his win, and I look forward to seeing Matt Di’Angelo in tomorrow’s live show. At least I got one out of my four predictions correct!

Some good news from the BBC: BBC Programmes beta

You can’t move on the internet today for summaries of Mark Thompson’s announcement about how the Corporation intends to save money in the future, following its lower-than-desired licence fee settlement and new Charter requirements.

What the big pronouncements did do was allow a new website to slip out into ‘public beta’ with little to no fanfare: BBC Programmes. This new venture aims to provide, in the words of Phil Gyford, who worked on the project:

Its aim is to provide a permanent page for every episode of every TV and radio programme broadcast by the BBC. From every episode of EastEnders through to every game of Shinty. This seems like a simple, and even obvious, challenge but from the first idea it’s taken around three years, and I don’t think any other TV or radio network does something similar (OK, that’s a wild guess; please correct me).

I can’t think of any other broadcaster that does this, either — the nearest that comes close is the similarly new (and similarly beta) LocateTV.com.

Tut, tut, tut

Watching Film 2007 last night, I was somewhat perturbed to hear Jonathan Ross review the film Stardust. Why is this such a bad thing, you ask? Film 2007 is a film review programme, surely it’s Wossy’s job to review films. Well, yes, that is true, except I think the show has strayed onto dodgy ground as Stardust has a script co-written by Jane Goldman, otherwise known as Mrs Jonathan Ross.

Spooks 6.1

For the first time since its very first episode, a new series of Spooks had no cliffhanger to resolve, as Adam and Ros were last seen having escaped from a potential watery grave. However, that didn’t mean any lack of suspense. On the contrary, we were thrown into the action from the very first frame.

The Sarah Jane Adventures 1.2: Eye of the Gorgon

It had nuns flitting spookily around an imposing looking abbey, it had a hearse, it had parents being turned to stone, it had a gorgon, it had Phyllida Law on blistering form. It also had a cast of brilliant young actors being led by a heroine who has a super computer in the attic, a sonic lipstick in her handbag and a nifty Nissan Figaro in the drive.

BBC's iPlayer to gain Mac-compatible streaming

Good news for us Mac users (and, indeed, Linux users as well). The BBC has forged a strategic partnership with Adobe Systems Inc. to make its iPlayer catch-up video streams available using Flash video.

This is a major advance, as it will mean that the growing number of licence payers who don’t use Microsoft Windows will have access to at least part of the Corporation’s growing on-demand services that will be delivered through the iPlayer brand. It looks like the deal won’t extend to the download service, as the use of Flash video is said to “complement” this Windows-only feature. But it’s a great start in the right direction.

Square Eyes 15-18 October

Emmerdale (Monday-Thursday 7.00pm, ITV1)

Emmerdale is 35 years young this week, and to celebrate, there’s going to be a big fire. Hang on? This is Emmerdale, there’s a fire every week. Who would have thought that this little drama, starting out in 1972, would still be here in the glitzy form it has morphed into over the years? Certainly not me, and I have to be honest, I still have quite a soft spot for the old thing. It’s not exactly the everyday story of country folk it started out as, but it’s never less than hugely enjoyable. As Annie’s Cottage goes up in smoke, raise a glass to a TV institution.

Dragon’s Den (Monday 9pm, BBC2)

Evan Davis is back to preside over the entrance to one of the toughest rooms on TV – the lair of the dragons who have the power of life and death over the future of the array of business ideas paraded before them throughout the series. It’s all business as usual, but there has been a personnel change, with James Caan replacing Richard Farleigh.

The Relief of Belsen (Monday 9pm, C4)

Iain Glen and Jemma Redgrave star in this well made drama about the liberation of the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp at the close of World War 2. Archive footage gets round the need to recreate the atrocities that were discovered in the camp, but follows the work of those arriving to help alleviate the terrible conditions. The inclusion of some first-hand accounts adds to this quite moving piece of television.

The Riches (Monday 10pm, Virgin1)

Apparently this is quite good. Sadly I can’t get past yet another terrible American accent foisted on the viewing public by another British actor. Thank you Mr Izzard, you can take a seat next to Mr Laurie.

Queer as Folk (Monday 11.40pm, More4)

A truly ground-breaking drama that gets a very welcome rerun to tie in with Channel 4’s 25th Anniversary. Queer as Folk was the first mainstream drama to feature a cast of gay characters living against the backdrop of Manchester. A lot of the action centres around the city’s gay quarter in the Canal Street area, featuring three main characters – nice guy Vince (Craig Kelly), complete slut Stuart (Aidan Gillen) and young Nathan (Charlie Hunnam), taking his first steps into a new world. As brilliant as it was when first broadcast, the script is blisteringly good and the performances first rate all round. Not sure what happened to the writer, probably still waiting for his big break.

Spooks (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

And all is well with the world as the always-marvellous Spooks returns to our screens for a new run. It’s all terribly straight-faced, and that’s part of the essential charm of this long-runner, with the whole tone set by the cracking performances by Rupert Penry-Jones and Peter Firth – it’s amazing there’s any scenery left after these two have had a chew. A Middle-East peace treaty is put in jeopardy when the threat of a biological terrorist weapon arrives in London, sending the spooks on their most dangerous mission yet. Cracking, compelling stuff!

Oz and James’s Big Wine Adventure (Tuesday 8pm, BBC2)

I still think James May needs to sort his wardrobe and hair out, but I enjoyed the first series of this road trip with the fabulously mis-matched May and wine expert Oz Clarke. This time, the duo have abandoned the sweeping slopes of the French wine scene and headed to California for their very own dose of Sideways. Good fun.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (Wednesday 11.45pm, C4)

It’s on at a ridiculous time, but I’ll take any opportunity to recommend this superb piece of TV drama from the pen of Aaron Sorkin. And the commencement of the terrestrial run of Studio 60, still running over on More 4, is excuse enough. I know why this didn’t make the mark with the audience – who cares about the actions of the production team and actors behind a Saturday Night Live-esque sketch show? But if you get past that, you have a script that sings, slick direction, and in Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry one of the finest double acts to hit the screens in years.

Location, Location, Location: Best and Worst Live (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

We’ve all become property obsessed, and this is the annual opportunity for Phil and Kirstie to tell us whether the town we’ve chosen to set up home in is good or bad. Last year’s survey named Hackney as the worst place in the country to live – I’m keeping my fingers crossed that South East London escapes the probing gaze this year. Fascinating in its mundanity, and this year, it’s a live show.

The Hotel Inspector (Thursday 9pm, Five)

Ruth Watson is a goddess. She’s like Mary Poppins, all lovely smiles and big fluffy coats, a bit like a favourite, batty aunt. And then, come part three of The Hotel Inspector, she lets rip, f-ing here, f-ing there and generally being a fabulous bitch to the stupid people running the hotels she’s trying to turn around. It’s Kitchen Nightmares with hotels, obviously, but never less than entertaining.

30 Rock (Thursday 10.40pm, Five)

I overlooked this little gem last week in favour of Californication preceding it at 10. That was a mistake. Although Californication is good, the constant round of David Duchovny getting to sleep with lots of beautiful women got wearing after the first half hour. This is much better, going behind the scenes on an American sketch show (sound familiar). However, it’s less The West Wing and more Larry Sanders, and comes from the pen of ex Saturday Night Live writer-actress Tina Fey. Worth it for lots of things, but the renaissance of Alec Baldwin as TV exec Jack Donaghy justifies the admission price alone.

National TV Awards - voting opens

It being October, it’s National TV Awards time again — in recent years, one of the most predictable awards ceremonies going. One of the main reasons for the predictability is that because votes are collected online, it’s increasingly susceptible to fan-based campaigning. Not for nothing has Doctor Who won Most Popular Actor, Most Popular Actress and Most Popular Programme for two years on the trot. Mind you, in the acting categories David Tennant and Freema Agyeman are only troubled by soap actors, thereby happily ignoring any other form of drama in 365 days of British television.

Strictly Come Dancing, week 2

Strictly Come Dancing on TV Today

I have to say, the second week in and the new results show format is growing on me. Clearly it’s working from a BBC perspective, too: unoffical overnights, according to Broadcast, averaged 7.7 million viewers and a 35.9% share, peaking at 8.8m (39.5%) at 7.15pm. Given that the channel’s average for that slot is 4.5 million, I’d imagine that any public mewling with regard to the Sunday show is going to fall on deaf ears.

But first, back to Saturday, and the seven celebrity ladies and their professional partners. This week, we’d be seeing quicksteps and rumbas — would they impress as much as last week’s group dance had implied they might?

Anne Frank's Diary to be read again

BBC Drama has just released details of the new, five-part adaptation of The Diary of Anne Frank, to be aired over consecutive nights on BBC1 in 2008.

Anne herself will be played by Ellie Kendrick, seen in last year’s In 2 Minds for CBBC, while her parents Otto and Edith will be played by Iain Glen and Tamsin Greig. Fans of The Archers (where Greig plays Debbie Aldridge) will note that Anne’s sister Margot will be played by another Ambridge resident, Felicity Jones (in the soap, she plays Emma Grundy; TV viewers will most recently remember her for her role in Cape Wrath.

Just to remind TV Today readers, but The Stage covers broadcasting news throughout the week over in our News channel.

In the last week, we’ve covered:

…and more…

Strictly Come Dancing: You be the judge, week 2

It’s getting to that time of the week again, and I have to say after their show dances last week, I’m really looking forward to the celebrity ladies and their professional partners.

As before, we’ve got a score sheet you can download to make your own notes at home, and award your own set of marks out of 10 for each couple. Feel free as the Saturday night show goes out to add your comments below! You never know, I may be able to sort out a little prize to award to the best comment of the series…

Week 2 score sheet (98k PDF)

Square Eyes 12-14 October

Have I Got News For You (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

The return of this hardy perennial is always cause for celebration. Although the show never changes – Hislop and Merton are usually on good form, and the guests and hosts are entertaining – that doesn’t matter. The news is always changing, and that’s what makes it work. Welcome back boys!

Rebus (Friday 9pm, ITV1)

This looks like the first outing for Rebus on TV that isn’t adapted from one of the books, so I will be watching with interest. At an Ian Rankin event I attended last year, the writer was looking forward to this point in the TV incarnation of his creation, feeling that the quality would improve when the TV writers were not condensing a 400 and odd page crime novel into less than 90 minutes for TV. Interestingly, The First Stone is written by another Scottish crime novelist, Colin Bateman, who also created Murphy’s Law. One to watch.

Ugly Betty (Friday 9pm, C4)

If dour Scottish detectives aren’t your thing (and to be fair, there ain’t a lot of laughs in Rebus) – Ugly Betty is probably more up your street. And what a colourful, delightful, crazy street this is. Friday nights suddenly got good again – shame it’s all around the 9pm hour!

Robin Hood (Saturday 7.30pm, BBC1)

Oh go on then. Yes, I know I’m highly critical of this BBC adventure drama and its young star (he is rubbish!), but at least it adds a bit of colour to Saturday nights in-between the slabs of Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor (although Cowell and co are bumped for the rugby tonight) Tonight’s is actually highly entertaining, with Dexter Fletcher as a high-rolling German gambler and a plot to break into the Sheriff’s strong room. After Press Gang, I used to think that Dexter Fletcher was American. Wonder if any of the kiddie audience will think he’s German after this? I doubt it…

Rugby World Cup (Saturday 7.45pm, ITV1)

I couldn’t not mention this (even though it’s outside our usual remit) as it’s so rare one of our national teams gets to defend a world title. It’s a tall order, to be honest, but I’ll still be cheering!

A Very British Coup (Saturday 10.05pm, More 4)

If you want to see why British television drama has traditionally been feted the world over, look no further than this stunning 1988 drama, shown to celebrate 25 years of C4. Ray McAnally’s performance as Labour PM Harry Perkins is the definition of tour de force and quite rightly won him a Bafta. There’s something quite chilling about the establishment attempting to keep Perkins in line as he embarks on a policy of social reform, and it is just as powerful now as it was in 1988. One for the trivia fans: Ernest Vince was the chap Bafta nominated for his work as a film cameraman on A Very British Coup. Nearly 20 years later, what’s he up to? Director of Photography on the Bafta award winning Doctor Who.

Michael Palin’s New Europe (Sunday 9pm, BBC1)

Tonight’s schedules are all a bit limp, really, so thank God for Michael Palin! This new international trek has taken a while to get going, but by episode five, things are moving along nicely as he wanders amiably through Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. This series, for some reason, seems so much more important than previous outings – there’s such a rich seam of recent history to explore here, with some of the most appalling, combined with the most positive, social events of recent times explored.

Top Gear (Sunday 9pm, BBC2)

Erm… I sounded a note last week that I was getting a bit bored of Top Gear, and that might not abate this week as the lads embark on a mission to cross the channel in a car. Do you know what? I really don’t care any more. Sorry boys.

As Food Poker prepares to ante up on BBC2, a very quick note to highlight an old reality warhorse that pointlessly limps along. While we were promised that Celebrity Big Brother would not be returning this year, it hasn’t stopped Endemol and Channel 4 foisting something celebrity themed from the Big Brother stable on us.

Strictly Come Dancing Live

Strictly Come Dancing: the Live Tour! We’re not even into the second week of Strictly Come Dancing (your score card for Saturday’s show will be with you tomorrow, BTW) and already the post-series brand exploitation spin-offs are starting.

Strictly Come Dancing: The Live Tour will be an arena-based tour, featuring eight celebrities and eight professional dancers from previous SCD series, who will dance and then receive cutting remarks from the usual panel of judges.

A poker in the eye

Read this, the full press release from the BBC Press Office concerning BBC2’s new, forthcoming daytime food show:

Holby drink drama

So it seems my beloved Holby City is to be investigated by Ofcom over its depiction of heavy drinking in an episode broadcast last month.

The sequence in question showed a couple of the Holby medics knocking back a line of tequila slammers after a pretty horrible day at work. So, being a doctor is a bit rubbish sometimes, and in that respect, they go to the bar to unwind. Much like myself on the day I realised Rough Diamond wasn’t coming back for a second series. Sob!

Square Eyes 8-11 October

The Sarah Jane Adventures (Monday 5pm, BBC1)

What’s not to like about this? It has Beth Goddard in a nun’s habit, Phyllida Law being fabulous as only Phyllida Law can be, and a gorgon that turns people to stone. It’s silly, but good lord, it’s entertaining. Am I 35 or 8, I find it very hard to tell these days.

Coronation Street (Monday 7.30/8.30pm)

Corrie is coasting a bit at the moment, it’s hard to deny, with the powder being kept dry for some tasty upcoming storylines surrounding Sarah-Lou, with Tina O’Brien departing the world of Weatherfield before too long. Another character who is not long for the cobbles is the always-fabulous Cilla, played with aplomb by Wendi Peters. She’s been a bit lost since Les disappeared, but tonight gives her a decent comedy storyline surrounding an inheritance. Great actress, great character, but it comes to something when you’re recommending Corrie on the strength of a comedy storyline. Hey ho.

Pete’s PA (Monday 10pm, Living)

It’s always fascinating to see the latest travesty the reality TV genre can foist on an increasingly suspecting public, and this is it. Pete Burns, looking for a new PA. He’s not quite Alan Sugar (well, as completely unlike Alan Sugar as it’s possible to be), and this is, obviously, a totally horrendous piece of television. Yet… Yet… There’s something undeniably watchable and entertaining about Burns himself. Watch this one… but carefully.

Stargate Atlantis (Tuesday 8pm, Sky One)

A new series as the bloated Stargate franchise heaves its bulk ever onwards. And what do we have here? Amanda Tapping taking up residence as Sam Carter in the regular cast following the cancellation of the parent series. Stargate has such a dense history of continuity, it’s nigh on impossible to just dive in, but the beginning of a new season is probably the best place to start. Good luck!

CSI:Miami (Tuesday 9pm, Five)

I’m not suggesting for one second that you watch the whole thing, but CSI is always worth tuning in to see just how much scenery David Caruso can chew in the course of 45 minutes. I draw your attention to the phenomenon of the pre-credits one-liner from Horatio, dialogue that has even managed to outdo Grissom’s tortured delivery over in Vegas. Oh, and this week, it’s a story about a bomb or something…

Don’t Call Me Stupid (Tuesday 10pm, ITV1)

It has cult darts legend Bobbie George and Vanessa Feltz in it. That has to be worth 30 minutes of anybody’s time. Doesn’t it? Look, Spooks is back next week, but until then, this is the best we’ve got.

Clive James Talking in the Library (Wednesday 7.30pm, Sky Arts)

This is like a comfy pair of slippers. Clive James having a pleasant chat with somebody new each week. This week it turns out to be Nick Hornby, who I’ve worshipped quietly ever since High Fidelity got me through a particularly traumatic break-up. Nice.

Brothers and Sisters (Wednesday 10pm, C4)

A double-whammy end of season finale for this heart-on-sleeve drama series. I like Brothers and Sisters because it isn’t big, and it isn’t clever, but it’s utterly watchable. If you get past Calista Flockhart’s constant mugging for the camera, that is, which shows just how much she hasn’t grown as an actress since Ally McBeal. Ah well, there’s still Sally Field and Rachel Griffiths to take up the slack, as well as a cracking ensemble cast to round things off. Roll on season two!

E4 School of Performing Arts (Wednesday 10pm, E4)

The hopefuls carry on, and they are being ever so slightly sautéed to make them sweat nicely (forgive the tortured analogy). I haven’t quite got to grips with the personalities here, but it’s got a lot going for it, and there will be many more tears before bedtime and the awarding of the scholarships.

Waterloo Road (Thursday 8pm, BBC1)

Now that was a quick return for this soapy school based drama series that is back for a mammoth third run. There was some major drama at the end of last year, with seemingly half the teaching staff being killed off, but fear not! Neil Morrissey arrives as the new deputy head, to provide able support to the ever-harassed Jack Rimmer (a nicely frazzled Jason Merrells). Expect more of the same from previous series, and bear in mind that Waterloo Road was in the frame not so long back to take the place of Neighbours as a year round soap. Stranger things have happened!

Who Do You Think You Are?/The Graham Norton Show (Thursday 9pm BBC1/10pm BBC2)

It’s Graham Norton night, it seems, with the cheeky chat show host investigating his family history on BBC1, followed immediately on BBC2 by the first in a new series of chat. Who Do You Think You Are? is the usual revealing stuff, and while he may be past the mammoth form he used to have on C4, his chat show is always good fun.

Californication (Thursday 10pm, Five)

Is this the Renaissance of David Duchovny? What with this brand new sit-com that’s had decent notices, and a new The X-Files movie slated for 2009, his star seems to be back on the rise. In this comedy from Showtime (the home of TV Today favourite Weeds), Duchovny is Hank, a novelist who moves to LA after his book becomes a big movie hit. There’s a daughter, an ex-girlfriend and an unhealthy (or is that healthy?) appetite for sexy women. And let the fun begin. This is highly promising, with a waspish sharpness in the writing and Duchovny has developed a certain down at heel charm that works well here.

Strictly Come Dancing, week 1

A fifth series in, and after Strictly Come Dancing has been exported all over the world (and its influence has been noticeable in so many other talent shows in the UK), we see a format change being imported back in: the bottom two couples in a dance-off, with the ultimate decision left to the judges.

It wasn’t the only change: the on-screen graphics gained a much-needed spruce up, all 3D and twinkly gold lettering. It was a subtle change — and, I expect, not unconnected with the series being shot in HD. For all the changes, though, the main core of the programme stayed the same — which made it just as watchable as ever.

Strictly Come Dancing: You be the judge, week 1

You know, a lot of the people covering Strictly Come Dancing elsewhere on the internet already seem to be deciding who to vote for, before a single step has been made onto the dance floor.

Naturally, I’d like to think that our hallowed TV Today readers are a little more discerning, and that we’ll all of us be judging the dancers based on their performance on the night.

To that end, we’ve produced a score sheet (98Kb PDF) for you to download, print out, and make notes as the celebrities and their dance partners shake their tail feathers. (You may need Adobe Reader to open PDF files.)

It’s pretty simple — make notes about each dancer if you want to, then rate each dancer out of 10, just as the judges in the studio do. We’ve included space for you to keep a tally on what Craig, Arlene, Len and Bruno think — but do you agree?

My review of this weekend’s shows will be online after Sunday’s results. Between now and then, feel free to comment on the shows in the comments box below.

Off with their heads?

So Will Wyatt’s report on what’s being dubbed ‘Crowngate’ is out, and it’s a bullet list of cock-ups, miscalculations and Chinese whispers. The PDF copy issued by the BBC Press Office (ignore the ‘strictly private and confidential’ tag on the front page) makes for interesting reading.

Already today, BBC1 Controller Peter Fincham and RDF’s Chief Creative Officer Stephen Lambert have resigned over the affair. Should they have gone? Reading the report, I can’t really see how either of them could have stayed.

But are they the only ones who are responsible?

Today sees Control, the film about Joy Division and its lead singer Ian Curtis, open in UK cinemas. The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw describes it today as ‘glorious’ in a five-star review.

The film’s screenplay is by Manchester television scribe Matt Greenhalgh, writer of Burn It and Legless for Red Production Company, the indie led by his partner, Nicola Shindler. Greenhalgh’s next project will also be for Red, the cash-and-carry set comedy drama Big Shop.

In his interview with The Stage, he talks about how working and living with Nicola has its highs and lows.

Square Eyes: 5-7 October

The Tudors (Friday 9pm, BBC2)
A silly bit of historical roister-doistering, The Tudors is a whistle-stop tour through a history for the Heat generation, told in a mammoth ten parts. This would be good stuff if it wasn’t for the pouting visage of Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Henry VIII, who, sorry to say, Jonas Armstrong can act off the screen. Although he’s playing the big cheese, which does get in the way somewhat, there’s plenty to keep audiences amused, with good turns from Sam Neill and Jeremy Northam.

Rebus (Friday 9pm, ITV1)
Rebus is sent off for a spot of retraining after being a bad boy once too often and falls in with the so called ‘Resurrection Men’ – old dinosaurs who haven’t been pensioned off yet, but the force can’t seem to get rid of. As they review an old case, could it be there are other reasons that the errant Edinburgh copper is there, while DS Clarke investigates the murder of an art expert. While I think John Hannah made a better Rebus, Ken Stott is still just about on the money as Ian Rankin’s dour detective, and this adaptation of one of the best of the books should pass 90 minutes rather nicely.

Ugly Betty (Friday 9pm, C4)
Friday nights have been barren on the box for weeks, and suddenly we have three dramas worth a look. Our cup floweth over! It feels like no time at all since Betty left our screens, and thank heavens for that – there are far too many questions that need answering. The chances of that happening, however, are very thin, as there are twenty-odd episodes to fill. All I do know is that Friday has been less colourful since the divine Miss Suarez left our screens, and it’s good to have her back.

Strictly Come Dancing (Saturday 6.15pm & Sunday 6.45pm, BBC1)
The series kicks off proper, and, at the time of writing, there’s still doubt over whether GMTV’s Kate Garraway will be able to take part following a foot injury. Whatever the fate of Garraway, the show must go on, and it should be business as usual for this modern mainstay of winter Saturday nights. The judges are in place, Tess has got a new frock, and Brucie has been well-oiled for the weeks ahead. Bring it on.

Robin Hood (Saturday 7.30pm, BBC1)
I previewed the first episode in this new series of adventuring nonsense yesterday, so I won’t go into too much detail here. It’s fun enough, as the Sheriff and his very, very sexy sister lure Robin into a trap to kill him in front of a gathering of shadowy strangers in Nottingham. Better than last year, but still not all that.

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)
I find myself growing increasingly weary of Top Gear (unlike the rest of the audience). It’s still a great watch, but the quest for ever-more stupid enterprises that the trinity of Clarkson, Hammond and May can get up to in a car seems to be out of step with the way the world is going. Take the previous stunt to race to the Pole in a big truck while Hammond was on a dog sled – who thought that was a good idea, environmentally speaking? I mean, really… The ratings will be huge again, so clearly, what do I know?

Louis Theroux – Under the Knife (Sunday 9pm, BBC2)
Mr Theroux voluntarily undergoes a course of liposuction in order to get under the skin of the cosmetic surgery industry in LA. That may seem like going a touch too far in pursuit of one’s art, but this is Louis, so anything goes. Of course, there are the usual probing interrogations of a wide-range of subjects throughout, and that’s what always makes these shows interesting.

Countdown to Strictly Come Dancing: Arlene and Len talk to The Stage

Strictly Come Dancing spread from this week's print edition

To mark the start of the fifth series of Strictly Come Dancing, our own Matthew Hemley has interviewed judges Arlene Phillips and Len Goodman.

In the interviews, Arlene talks about working with Grease is the Word talent show winners Danny Bayne and Susan McFadden for their roles at the Piccadilly Theatre — while Len says that football is a far more “sissy” pastime than ballroom dancing. Wonder what John Barnes thinks of that?

Square Eyes Preview: Robin Hood Season 2

Robin Hood Series 2. Photo: (c) BBC

Imagine a beautiful, sweeping panoramic shot of deep green trees standing on a breathtakingly undulating landscape. The camera spins, taking in trees as far as the eye can see. Wow! What a great shot…

And then a caption, accompanied by an unintentionally comic “boing!” of an arrow hitting home, announces that this is

SHERWOOD FOREST

Broadcasters avoid the original, says Frankenstein adapter

Helen McCrory as Dr Victoria Frankenstein. Photo: ITVTalk about biting the hand that feeds. Jed Mercurio, the creator of Cardiac Arrest and Bodies has spoken out against broadcasting commissioners who go for safe, recognisable ‘brand names’ for its dramas, rather than risking original content. Mercurio is the writer of ITV’s new adaptation of the not-at-all-familiar Frankenstein.

I think broadcasters are worried about attracting audiences and if you do something that is very original, broadcasters worry about how they are going to sell it. How are they going to convey to the audiences what the story is about? Most people think the simplest way is to have a brand that people recognise.

Mercurio’s far from the first writer to criticise the commissioning process — in August, Tony Marchant said much the same thing. The blog comments in response make for some interesting reading.

The Sarah Jane Adventures: Revenge of the Slitheen

Sarah Jane Adventures. Photo (c) BBC

There are few television characters that achieve true longevity in their service to the industry. There are icons, of course, whose lives transcend the confines of their handful of comedy or drama outings – Basil Fawlty springs to mind, as does Captain Mainwairing. But then there are characters who are so long lived they become public property. Ken Barlow has been in Coronation Street since day one, and he ain’t going anywhere just yet. Derek and Rodney Trotter clocked up a fair few years between them, and Don Henderson’s gruff copper George Bullman appeared in no less than three TV series.

Favourite 5: Child actors

In a new, semi-regular feature, TV Today is going to pick out our favourite five people, or things, on various topics. As today sees Ofcom’s call for a debate on children’s television, we thought we’d kick off with child actors — even though only one on our list actually is involved in a programme made for children. Yes, I know it’s a tenuous link.

In general, our favourite fives will be limited to British TV unless we decide it’s really worth including something or someone from overseas. For our list of child actors, therefore, I had to exclude the likes of Mark Indelicato, who plays Justin in Ugly Betty, despite being an integral part of the cast and a major reason why I love the camp couture drama in the first place. Also, an honourable mention should go to Daniel Anthony, whose role in The Sarah Jane Adventures, As The Bell Rings and Doctors made me consider him for the list. However, despite his character being in his early teens, his agent’s website reveals that he turns 20 tomorrow.

So with those exceptions out of the way, in reverse order of completely mercurial fabulousness, my favourite five British child actors are after the jump. Do you agree — or have we missed a young actor that should have been included? Leave us a comment!

Turn off the TV: Radio 4, This is Your Life

If you went anywhere news BBC RAdio at the weekend, you can’t have failed to notice that the Corporation’s first four national networks were celebrating their fortieth anniversaries on Sunday. Thankfully, due to the technological advances made in the four decades since, anybody who missed some of the celebratory programmes will be able to for the rest of the week.

For me, the highlight was Radio 4, This Is Your Life. As is traditional with TIYL, the presenter (in this case, the wonderful Stephen Fry) surprises the recipient of the big red book. In this case, the radio network was to be found doing his weekly shop as a branch of Waitrose in the little village of Middle England, and sounded remarkably like Matt Lucas.

Initially, of course, Radio 4 didn’t realise it was a set-up:

(Oh dear) Look, I don’t know the rules to Mornington Crescent, and we’re not bringing back the UK Theme

Delightfully, the spoof history of the network claimed that the very first programme broadcast was Feedback, with listeners complaining that over the course of the last twelve seconds the BBC was already dumbing down…

With such knowing digs liberally scattered throughout (my personal favourite being Money Box’s Paul Lewis doing the olbigatory TIYL “Sorry I can’t be with you” clip, from his Hollywood bolt hole), this was a fantastic 45-minute down a memory lane that you know never really existed, but you can’t helping should have done.

If you missed it, go catch it on Listen Again while you still can.

'Look at me': Inside the mind of Steven Beale

EastEnders fans can’t have failed to notice the appearance of Steven Beale, after several years living in New Zealand with his biological father, Simon Wicks.

Of course, as is traditional in soap operas, Steven has physically changed beyond all recognition (to us, at least. Naturally no-one in the Square noticed anything odd). The BBC have kindly posted up a video with actor Aaron Sidwell onto YouTube — as usual with Beeb clips, I can’t embed it here.

It’s an interesting interview, not only for its recap of Steven’s back story and Aaron’s own stories of fitting in to the set, but also because of the obvious fun the video’s editors have been having, adding flash frames, sound effects and all sorts.

Last of the Summer Wine...

This seems a fitting title to use to mark the passing of legendary TV composer Ronnie Hazlehurst, who has sadly died in hospital in Guernsey following a stroke.

Hazlehurst composed the theme tunes to many iconic TV series, mainly in the sitcom genre, and also provided arrangements of existing themes for many more shows.

Countdown to Strictly Come Dancing: Kath and Kel

After Saturday’s recorded clip show-cum-preview, next Saturday sees the fifth series of Strictly Come Dancing properly get under way.

To get you in the mood, here’s a clip of the opening show dance from the Australian version of the show: from Kath and Kim, Kath Day-Knight and her dancing partner, husband Kel Knight (as ever, played by Jane Turner and Glenn Robbins):

BBC local news investigates up-front fees

In a little departure from TV Today’s usual area of debate, I’d like to direct you to this investigative report from BBC Look East on casting agencies that charge up-front fees with no guarantee of work. The agency involved, West 1 Casting, is also the subject of a full-length Inside Out, broadcast on BBC1 South West last week.

The Stage has reported on agencies using these tactics for some time. Last year, a survey conducted by the newspaper, quoted in the Look East report, revealed that three-quarters of people paying up-front fees receive no work, and in more than 90% of cases fail to live up to expectations. Unions Equity and Bectu, the Agents’ Association and others are campaigning to get additional protections for customers, and to ensure that it’s easier to spot and eliminate underhand tactics such as those on display in these news reports.

Reputable agencies earn their money when the people on their books get work. Thankfully, they far outnumber the shysters. If you have been tempted to enter the entertainment industry, then good luck to you — but be very, very aware. If you are asked to pay an up-front “administration” fee, walk away.

For more about this topic, visit campaigner and Equity councillor Clive Hurst’s website.

Square Eyes 1-4 October

The Sarah Jane Adventures (Monday 5pm, BBC1)

Will the Slitheen be triumphant, or will they be defeated by a woman with sonic lipstick who drives a Nissan Figaro? What do you think? Joyous stuff!

Murphy’s Law (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

James Nesbitt returns to perhaps his greatest role (yeah, yeah, I remember Cold Feet) and the one that really shows his range. I still don’t want him as Doctor Who (shudder), but there’s something incredibly engaging in his turn as grim undercover cop Tommy Murphy. This series spans Monday to Wednesday of this week, and opens with an operation in Norfolk headed by Murphy going disastrously wrong. Murphy is left to sort out the big old mess left behind. Gripping and violent, this is no Midsomer Murders. Thank god.

The Riches (Monday 10pm, Virgin 1)

The first night of Virgin 1 brings one of the more interesting new dramas to come out of the States in the last 12 months. Eddie Izzard makes his TV drama breakthrough alongside Minnie Drama, playing Wayne and Dahlia Malloy. They are itinerant con artists, and this feature-length pilot sets up the notion of them giving up the wandering and stealing the identities of a rich family. Izzard’s accent is as shaky as Hugh Laurie’s (sorry in advance!), but this is intriguing stuff and worth coming back for a second look.

Gagging for It: TV’s Hunger for Radio Comedy (Monday 10pm, BBC4)

An intriguing little documentary that looks at the well-known radio shows that have made the jump from radio to telly. Naturally Tony Hancock gets a look in, as does Little Britain, with contributions from the likes of Mitchell and Webb. I’m hoping we’ll see coverage of On the Hour becoming The Day Today (doing what Little Britain did years before), to more sedate fare like After Henry. And how about a look at shows that went the other way – Trevor’s World of Sport, To the Manor Born, amongst others?

Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe (Tuesday 10pm, BBC4)

I completely missed the start of this last week, but the show is repeated so much throughout the week it’s easy to catch up with. Brooker has an enviable talent in vocalising what we’re all thinking, and it’s a good PR exercise for the Beeb to have him there, letting nobody off the hook. Last week’s assault on the current vogue for TV deception was long overdue – welcome back Mr Brooker, we’ve missed you.

Heroes (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

We get to see much more of Christopher Eccleston this week – or rather we don’t, as Claude, the character he plays, is invisible quite a lot of the time. He’s very, very good though, and Peter finally learns how to use his powers more effectively under Claude’s tutelage. Sci-fi fans will also get a thrill to see the legendary George Takei pop in as Hiro’s father. Phasers on stun!

Help Me Anthea, I’m Infested (Wednesday 9pm, BBC3)

Erm… Don’t you just love BBC 3’s more highbrow leanings?

School of Performing Arts (Wednesday 10pm, E4)

Brian Blessed bellows his way through the narration of this cheeky little series that follows 24 hopefuls as they compete over 3 scholarships at the country’s top performing arts schools. It’s all delightfully jazz hands, but there’s a damn sight more talent on display here and these guys are working very hard for what they want. Expect tears and tantrums along the way.

The Life and Times of Vivien Vyle (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

This will either hit or miss spectacularly as Jennifer Saunders steps into the fray with a new character – Vivien Vyle, a daytime host of a Trisha-esque show. Saunders is on reasonable form, but it’s too easy to see the hallmarks of Edina Monsoon in the overly grotesque qualities on display. It would have been braver for Jen to have sired this potentially piece of great TV and let somebody else take the character glory. Interesting but flawed.

50 Years of the Today Programme (Thursday 9pm, BBC4)

To tie in with the 40th Anniversary of Radio 4, this celebrates one of the station’s mainstay institutions. It started out a bit like a Home Truths, quite fluffy and cuddly, and this piece with contributions from everybody you’d expect shows just how far things have come in 50 years.

The Peter Serafinowicz Show (Thursday 9.30pm, BBC2)

This chap’s star has been waiting to shine for far too long now, and finally he gets his own sketch show. On the basis of the little material available pre-transmission, this is going to be required viewing over the next few weeks. There’s a heightened sense of madness inherent within anything Serafinowicz does, but it’s never less than considered and you get the impression that every beat is mercilessly planned.

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