Hotel Babylon (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)
John Barrowman, eh? Gets everywhere doesn’t he? If it’s not looking after the Torchwood team and snogging Ianto, or popping up for a few episodes of Doctor Who, he’s getting in on the musical action on a Saturday night. Now he’s checking into Hotel Babylon as a difficult movie director who runs the staff ragged with his demanding ways. And you know, I’m not sure HB is strong enough to survive without Max Beesley as the lynchpin – if they’re clever enough, they’ll put Dexter Fletcher front and centre as Tony, but my hopes aren’t high for the future of this frothy little series.
Bionic Woman (Tuesday 9pm, ITV2)
I want to like this, I really do, but it’s just not doing it for me. Michelle Ryan is perfectly fine as Jaime Sommers, but the whole tone of the thing is what’s putting me off. This stuff needs some ironic humour to acknowledge that the premise is, when you think about it, just a bit silly. That po-faced tone works in Battlestar Galactica as there are spaceships and ray guns to offset the frowny stuff, but in a show set in the real world, you need something else. Still, Ryan acquits herself rather well, and I hope she gets another big project in the near future.
The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)
Okay, calm down. Everything is going to be okay from now on – well, at 9pm on Wednesday it will be. Sir Alan Sugar jumps into his Roller once more and glides around the streets of London like a shiny black shark, ready to terrorise a new intake of gobby, stupid people for the next 12 weeks. I do worry about how much pleasure I take in watching these towers of arrogance being cut down with Sir Alan’s machete like wit, but once some dead wood has been cut out, I usually back a favourite by about week four. As always with The Apprentice, much of the pleasure comes from watching Alan’s sidekicks, the now legendary Nick and Margaret, in action. There’s nothing like a raised eyebrow from Nick to tell you the writing’s on the wall for one unlucky hopeful. Bliss. Adrian Chiles returns with The Apprentice – You’re Fired at 10pm on BBC2.
Hancock and Joan (Wednesday 9pm, BBC4)
I was pondering on the virtue of a new biopic of Tony Hancock, considering that Alfred Molina donned the hat and jowls so memorably in a Screen One film back in 1991. But that film, excellent though it was, veered away from touching on Hancock’s affair with Joan Le Mesurier, wife of his close friend John. Ken Stott may seem like odd casting for the comedy great, but there are moments when he is hauntingly on the money and shows he was possibly wise in choosing to step down from Rebus. This reminds us just what a great actor he is, and playing opposite Maxine Peake as Joan, he couldn’t hope for a better co-star. Like The Curse of Steptoe before it, this is tragic and poignant for all the right reasons.
Dexter (Wednesday 10.35pm, ITV1)
Dexter is so sublimely dark that you are left at the end of every episode shaking your head in bewilderment as to why you enjoy it so much. It’s about a serial killer, who is also the hero of the piece, and the fact Dexter remains so likeable throughout is a masterstroke of writing and acting. This week, Dexter (a breathtaking Michael C. Hall) is gearing up for another killing (look, he only offs bad guys, so it’s okay), while also juggling his emotionally draining relationship with Rita, which is a problem when you don’t have much emotion to drain in the first place. Sublimely brilliant.
Mark Lawson Talks to George Cole (Wednesday 11pm, BBC4)
Mark Lawson talks to a legend of TV and film comedy. What more do you need to know?
Holby Blue (Thursday 8pm, BBC1)
What can I say, I am weak and frail. I know it’s bad for me, but I just can’t resist Holby Blue. I may have made the Pot Noodle analogy before with this series, but it still works. Just add water and wait for two minutes.
Ashes to Ashes (Thursday 9pm, BBC1)
Has it really been eight weeks since we were introduced to DI Alex Drake and welcomed Gene Hunt back into our lives with open arms? Blimey, doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun? And that’s exactly that what this series is: fun. Ashes to Ashes doesn’t always hit the nail on the head, but when it does, it’s with a certain amount of style. In tonight’s closing episode, we are 24 hours away from the death of Alex’s parents, and she thinks that by saving them, it will open the door to her route home. Yeah, yeah – with a second series in the works, do we really think that’s going to happen? Tonight also sees a guest appearance from Geoffrey Palmer, which is always worth a look.
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