June 2008 Archives

Criminal Justice (Monday - Friday 9pm, BBC1)

Bill Patterson and Ben Whishaw star in this thoroughly compelling and highly watchable drama stripped nightly across the week, a device the BBC appears to be increasingly fond of. Whishaw is Ben Coulter, a young lad who sets off on a night out, only for it to end in tragedy when he commits a terrible crime - apparently. Apparently, because Ben can’t remember a damn thing about what happened. What unfolds is a depiction of the legal system from the inside out as Ben is put through the wringer from all angles. British TV drama at its best.

Coupling (Monday 11.10pm, Paramount Comedy)

Going slightly off piste and back in time for Square Eyes, this is a chance to see the very first episode of Steven Moffat’s Coupling. Aside from the fact that there isn’t great deal on worth watching tonight (save for Criminal Justice), this is a good opportunity to see some of Moffat’s earlier work as he prepares to take over the running of the good ship Doctor Who next year. It’s frothy and fun with some blistering one-liners, but there are no gasmasks in sight.

Emmerdale: Blood Ties (Tuesday 7pm, ITV1)

Not that I’m going out of my way to recommend the life of everyday of posh country folk, I just find it amusing that these hour long editions have odd subtitles beyond the simple Emmerdale moniker. Blood Ties! It all sounds very dramatic and scary, as if Lynda La Plante had suddenly taken up writing for the rural soap. Now that I would like to see, but sadly not as this turns out to be just another bog standard soap episode. What next? Emmerdale: Mucking Out?

Duncan Bannatyne Takes on Big Tobacco (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

There’s something incredibly likeable about Dragon’s Den’s Duncan Bannatyne. He might be filthy rich, but he’s clearly worked for it and is a massive benefactor to charities and other deserving causes around the UK. In this documentary he takes on almost hero status for me as he heads off to Africa to investigate the tobacco industry and why more young people are taking up the habit there. He discovers some shocking practices from the big tobacco peddling companies and this documentary stands as an insightful and revealing piece of work.

The Culture Show (Tuesday 10pm, BBC2)

On the 60th anniversary of the publication of George Orwell’s 1984, Germaine Greer, a reluctant graduate of the Celebrity Big Brother house, gathers together a group of ex-Big Brother contestants to discuss the merits of the great novel. Now I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something strangely perverse about that - kind of like eating a Pot Noodle at The Ivy.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Saints be praised! There’s something decent to watch for the next couple of weeks and it just turns out to be the return of the celebrity-tinged version of Square Eyes favourite Masterchef. G’day John, wotcha Gregg, we’ve missed you guys! Of course, Celebrity Masterchef is not about somebody bagging themselves a career as a chef (although Claire off of Steps could probably do with the work), but will any of them be good enough to impress John and Gregg. Have I mentioned I ADORE this show?

Marco’s Great British Feast (Wednesday 9pm, ITV1)

As John and Gregg taste their way through the celeb-cooked food on BBC1, he enfant terrible of the food world, Marco Pierre White, gets an outing in a new show on ITV1. The roots of this hybrid format are clear if you look for them - White travels around the country looking for the best produce and ingredients for a totally British menu. It’s nothing new or startling, but White does provide a dangerously different presence to the usual TV chefs that populate the box.

Drama Trails (Wednesday 9pm, ITV3)

Clearly riffing on the BBC’s …Connections strand, Drama Trails has James Nesbitt narrating this fun little series that connects popular dramas to other shows, starting here with Coronation Street. To a TV trivia daftie like me this is manna from heaven.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Blah blah… season finale blah blah… shanti virus blah blah… Petrelli brothers reunited blah blah… Hiro out for revenge blah blah… not as good as the first season blah blah… will season three be better than this meandering nonsense? Blah blah… I really hope so…

The Graham Norton Show (Thursday 9.45pm, BBC2)

To ease the pain of the agonising wait until the final episode of Doctor Who on Saturday, Donna Noble herself, aka Catherine Tate, pops in for a chat with Graham. Expect lots of laughs and fun along the way.

Fallout (Thursday 10pm, C4)

Once again Channel 4 shows its mastery of the one-off drama in this stunning adaptation by Roy Williams of his stage play that delves into the increasingly worrying issue of teen violence on the streets of Britain. The effortlessly brilliant Lennie James plays Joe, a copper drafted in to help investigate the murder of a teenager on the estate where he grew up. It’s a thoughtful, intelligent piece that plays on how the stabbing of the teenager impales across the lives of those who live on the estate and how Joe’s eyes are opened up to some harsh realities.

Glastonbury (various times, Friday-Sunday, BBC3/BBC2)

If you fancy a lazy weekend hanging around the house, then at some point you’re going to come across the Beeb’s Glastonbury coverage. It’s always well done, and a great way to see some of the acts while having access to a clean loo that doesn’t involve traipsing through miles of mud. Lauren Laverne, Edith Bowman, Mark Radcliffe and Zane Lowe are your presenters.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

I’m not quite sure why Steve McDonald went off and slept with Becky Granger. Steve’s relationship with Michelle Connor was a perfectly lovely soap coupling, but those pesky storyliners just can’t stop monkeying with things, can they? Michelle is on the warpath, accusing Leanne of being Steve’s illicit lover, but Lloyd spins an elaborate tale to help get Steve off the hook. It will all end in tears, mark my words!

Deadliest Catch (Friday 8pm, C4)

Well naturally, it’s one of the best shows on the box, so where else are you going to be? On the crab!

To The Manor Born (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

A very welcome re-run for the lovely Christmas revival of the BBC sitcom classic. A great antidote to the utter rubbish over on Channel 4.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7.10pm, BBC1)

After the last few weeks of more adult, psychologically taut tales, Doctor Who returns firmly to the high-octane, epic adventure we’ve come to expect from previous finales. The Stolen Earth is an audacious yarn from the pen of Russell T Davies - it’s like one of those cracking Marvel Comic team-ups that have Spider-Man, the X-Men and The Avengers all turning up in the same comic. Here we have Captain Jack and the Torchwood team, Sarah Jane Smith and her son Luke off of The Sarah Jane Adventures, and Dr Martha Jones, all present and correct for the final battle with the Dalek Empire - and this time, they’ve brought a friend. Fantastic, huge, silly entertainment of the highest order.

Who Dares Sings! (Saturday 8pm, ITV1)

An odd concept for a show as Denise Van Outen and Ben Shephard challenge 100 members of a studio audience to take on the talents of Sam, a super computer with a penchant for karaoke. Bless. I don’t quite know what the point of this is, but with a £50,000 cash prize up for grabs, maybe there doesn’t have to be a point. It certainly never stops ITV.

How TV Changed Britain (Saturday 8pm, C4)

A move to Saturday night for this interesting little show that trawls through the archives of television past and asks how certain things were influenced within society. Terry Christian and Magenta DeVine are amongst the talking heads peppered throughout the clips this evening, so it isn’t hard to work out that this edition is covering how television catered for a younger audience over the years. Network 7, The Word and beyond all get a look in - beware, this could really make you feel your age.

Law and Order (Saturday 10.50pm, Five)

A landmark episode of Law and Order that sees Jerry Orbach’s final appearance as Detective Lenny Briscoe after 12 seasons.

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

Spooks actors Rupert Penry-Jones and Peter Firth are tonight’s stars in a reasonably priced car, Richard Hammond jumps in a swish Audi t challenge some French skiers, and no doubt James May will no doubt turn up looking like he’s just got out of bed. Brush your hair and stop dressing like a student from the late 80s!

The Royal (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

It seems that tonight The Royal is the one drama that isn’t a repeat, which almost makes it worth watching. Almost. There’s no point in talking about the story on offer as by and large this show is the same week in, week in. It still looks lovely though, and the soundtrack is always a pleasure. And it least it’s brand new and doesn’t involve football or housemates - something of a rarity in tonight’s schedules.

Aw bless! I was very heartened by this lovely story over on The Stage’s news pages, reporting on Sooty’s 60th birthday and how he has been bought out from his current owners by the show’s presenter, Richard Cadell. Cadell hopes to bring the enduring TV favourite back to television, as well as planning a live show, Sooty in Space, early next year.

I find it heartening that in the days of CGI the Internet and ADD, there is still, somewhere, a place for a small, mute, naughty yellow bear with black ears in the hearts of children. The character appeals to the mischievous side of every child, big or small, that desire to play practical jokes and wreak some innocent havoc with those around us. And Sooty isn’t alone - the same principal applies to the likes of Basil Brush and Emu, puppet characters that have both seen reasonably successful revivals in recent years. Long may it continue.

Last week, I described the psychologically terrifying Midnight as Russell T Davies’s

“finest script from four years of Doctor Who”.

I also pondered whether

“he’ll better it in the next three weeks.”

With Turn Left, he gave that challenge a spirited go and delivered a confident, witty and thoughtful piece that possibly just nudges ahead of Midnight. Turn Left provides a sideways glance at the Doctor Who universe by revisiting events we’ve seen in the last few years and puts Catherine Tate front and centre while David Tennant was off filming Midnight. It also brings Billie Piper back to the Doctor Who fold, and while I’m not usually fussed over that event, I can see why some may have been a gibbering wreck over their fish fingers and chips on Saturday night.

The premise of Turn Left is simple - what if Donna had never met the Doctor? What if on the morning she was due to turn up at HC Clements to start her new job, leading to the events of The Runaway Bride, Donna turned right instead of left and landed a different job? She never met the Doctor, she never ended up beneath the Thames on Christmas Day, wasn’t there to help the Time Lord defeat the Racnoss. Basically, what if the Doctor died there and then?

On paper, there’s no way it should work. A choral competition would be a no-brainer for BBC2, or Radio 3. Stick it on BBC1 on a Sunday evening as a summer replacement for Songs of Praise, and nobody would bat an eyelid. But primetime on Saturday night? How on Earth could that possibly work?

On the basis of last night’s press launch for Last Choir Standing, which starts on BBC1 on Saturday July 5 (TBC), I think there’s every chance that it will.

Apologies for the lack of a review for Turn Left, last weekend’s stunning Doctor Who outing that should silence the Catherine Tate naysayers (ah, who am I kidding?). This oversight will be rectified tomorrow when I have reconciled just how an unconvincing giant beetle, blue-tacked to the flame-haired goddess’s back, could be so effective. And yes, I did just call Catherine Tate a flame-haired goddess, so there!

And of course, like most of our readers I imagine, I can only roll my eyes and sigh at the absurdity of Heinz pulling the ad for its Deli Mayo range over concerns about depicting a same sex couple. Sometimes all you can do is despair at the world.

Speaking of despair, and I know I’m behind the news a little, but I see that TV Today favourite Nigel Harman is to take over from Max Beesley on Hotel Babylon, one of my favourite guilty pleasures on the box. Long time readers of TV Today will know of the disdain I have for the unique talents of Mr Harman (yes, lobster is still off!), but sometimes, in those dark moments, I sometimes wish The Outsiders had been commissioned for a full series.

You know what though? I reckon Harman will fit right in at Hotel Babylon!

Coronation Street (7.30pm, ITV1)

The comedy continues apace in the house swap of the year as the Peacocks finally settle in on the other side of the Street. While rummaging around in the loft, Claire makes a discovery that might just change her family’s life forever. Have Stan and Hilda left a legacy that will put Claire and Ashley on the gravy train? Elsewhere, Tony, with his bulging eyes, puts his foot down at the factory.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

After last week’s explosive events down the East End, Albert Square is at home to yet more shocks this evening as a familiar face turns up in Walford. It would be churlish to reveal who this rascal is, but put it this way, there’s one local lady who will not be pleased to see them. Will anybody else be happy? Watch it and find out…

Justin Lee Collins: 180 (Monday, 10pm, Sky One)

There’s something undeniably watchable about Justin Lee Collins, and in this fun little piece he turns his hand to conquering the world of competitive darts. I’m always bang on for a bit of arrows action, and complete with Collins’s irreverent (if shouty) charms, this is nicely entertaining in a down at heel kind of way. Look on the bright side - it isn’t Big Brother, and for that we can all be thankful.

Holby City (Tuesday 8pm, BBC1)

Back where it belongs on a Tuesday evening, Holby City goes international in tonight’s instalment as Joseph and relative newcomer Linden head off to Cape Town to rescue Faye from whatever scrape she’s got herself into. But just what secret is Linden hiding as he starts the episode sitting in a confessional and clearly wanting to get something off his chest? Elsewhere, is Connie still as fabulous as ever? Of course she is!

The Supersizers Go… Regency (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

My favourite TV pleasure of the minute comes to an end this week as Giles Coren takes on the dietary regime of a Regency dandy, along with Sue Perkins who dons the frock of a Jane Austen heroine. Brilliant as always, these shows reveal as much about history as they do the food. The week moves along with the usual face stuffing and booze quenching, culminating in a lavish ball. I for one hope the Supersizers will return before too long.

Tribal Wives (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

The proof is in the pudding this week to assess whether Tribal Wives is going to be a one trick pony or has the legs for six episodes. Last week we saw Sass find a little bit of happiness in an unfulfilled life; this week it’s the turn of hardworking single mum Karen. Will spending a month with an Ecuadorian tribe show her there’s more to life? Probably. I’m hoping one week we’ll see somebody come back from the experience even more depressed than they went in.

Snowdon and Margaret: Inside a Royal Marriage (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

A revealing and insightful documentary that lifts the lid on one of the most tempestuous royal couplings of modern times, which ended amidst much tabloid scuttlebutt in 1978. Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon were married for 18-year years, and Snowdon has always come out the better of the two in subsequent examinations of their marriage. This documentary seeks to redress some of the balance…

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

Assuming the footie doesn’t muck things up, Dot tries to get Bradley and Stacey back together tonight. Dot, love, if you keep flogging a dead horse, one day it might win the Grand National. Until then, why don’t you go and sit down and have a ciggie?

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

It’s the penultimate episode of a shortened season of Heroes, and we finally start to see what’s been going on. It’s summat about a virus, a virus that could destroy everything if it mutated or… do stop me if I’m boring you… I do find it very hard to summon up interest in what is undeniably a very well made, imaginative TV drama. I can see the charm of Heroes and why it’s good - I just don’t feel it.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30pm, ITV1)

You know you’re in trouble when the best thing about Coronation Street is a comedy storyline concerning a house swap between the Websters and the Peacocks - with hilarious results… It’s the day of the move as Sally prepares to ascend to t’other side of the Street, but when their funds don’t clear, Claire refuses to budge. Both clans sit tight, facing each other across the legendary cobbles with their worldly possessions laid bare for all to see. It’s good fun in the way that only Corrie can be, and something tells us that this story won’t end well.

Deadliest Catch (Friday 8pm, C4)

Deadliest Catch is one of the most addictive shows on television right now, and here at TV Today we love the death defying feats performed by the crab fishermen out in the Bering Sea. It’s the same week in, week out, but remains utterly compelling. Tonight, the opelia season opens and Captain Sig is on the crab straight away, but Captain Phil is being a little more cautious as the temperature drops.

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

The final part of this wonderful portrait of Liverpool by the engaging yet caustic Alexei Sayle. Tonight’s closing chapter brings things down to a personal level as he seeks out his mum Molly for a chat and considers his own identity as a scouser. Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool has been a refreshing oasis in the desert of the current TV schedules.

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.40pm, BBC1)

Catherine Tate shines as Donna in this episode that asks, with sinister effect, what would happen if Donna had not met the Doctor by simply turning left instead of right. It’s a breathtaking piece of work that revisits where Doctor Who has been over the last few years and repaints familiar events from a different perspective. Not only is Tate superb, Turn Left also features the return of Billie Piper to the role of Rose Tyler and sets things up nicely for what we are promised will be a storming season finale.

Andrew Marr’s History of Modern Britain (Saturday 8pm, BBC2)

It’s a repeat, but that doesn’t make Andrew Marr’s appraisal of our country’s modern history any less watchable or fascinating. This final part covers the post Thatcher years in Britain and assesses the fortunes (or otherwise) of Messrs Major and Blair during their time at Number 10. Considering the events currently taking place around the world, this feels chillingly relevant.

Joyce Grenfell - Comedy with Breeding (Saturday 11.15pm, BBC2)

A criminally late slot for this profile of the comedy legend, previously shown on BBC4.

Last of the Summer Wine (Sunday 6.35pm, BBC1)

There’s something comforting about reading in the schedules that there’s a new series of Last of the Summer Wine. This show is not made for me (although I loved it as a nipper), but the fact it’s still there, still chugging away, gives me a little warm glow and tells me that all is well with the world. It’s rare that a modern TV show gets by simply on the virtue of simply being lovely, and that’s something we should cherish, don’t you think?

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

The three motoring musketeers are back for a new run of the ratings busting Top Gear. I love and loathe this show in equal measure. It’s undeniably entertaining and Clarkson, Hammond and May have great rapport. However, it has an appalling approach to environmental issues, and that makes me increasingly uncomfortable.

The Royal (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

Unless the footie cocks things up, The Royal returns for a new 10 part series in all its cosy glory. Again, like Last of the Summer Wine, this might not appeal to my particular demographic, but I know people who are happier because this gentle drama exists (hello Mum!), and that’s good enough for me.

How TV Changed Britain (Sunday 8pm, C4)

As the property market is giving a lot of people cause for worry, this edition of the frothy TV retrospective series is a timely look at how property and home improvement shows have occupied the TV landscape over the years. Thanks to the likes of Sarah Beeny and Phil and Kirstie, we are a nation obsessed - have shows such as Property Ladder contributed to the current uncertainty? It’s a sobering thought…

On the basis of this news story from Matt over on The Stage’s news pages, very possibly. It has today been announced that ITV and Twentieth Centrury Fox Television have entered into a deal whereby both companies will have access to each other’s programme back catalogue and current and future production slate. There will therefore be opportunity to develop shows from this pool on either side of the Atlantic, and the option to develop a show in both territories in tandem.

Can I venture forth that this is one of the craziest ideas to come out of the TV industry in quite some time - and that’s saying a lot considering somebody thought commissioning Harley Street was a good idea (if you’re very lucky, we’ll have a Square Eyes special preview of a drama that makes The Palace look like high art very soon).

But for the architects of this landmark deal between the two companies, I have just two words for you: BRIGHTON BELLES! Surely your memories are not that short for the love of God! And since that UK spin on American sitcom gold The Golden Girls, we’ve also had the TV car crash otherwise known as Days Like These, a ham-fisted attempt to ape the success of That ’70s Show. I still have nightmares and wake up in a cold sweat after that particular nugget of quality.

Quick pop quiz. Who created the Bafta-winning series The Street? Who wrote the Bafta-winning film The Mark of Cain? Who wrote the recent BBC adaptation of Sense and Sensibility?

Top marks if you were able to correctly identify Jimmy McGovern, Tony Marchant and Andrew Davies. Some very well-known names in the world of television.

Now for the supplementary question: who directed each of those dramas?

Chances are, unless you’re really well up on your production credits trivia (or have taken a sneaky glance at IMDB) that you have no idea. When it comes to giving recognition for a quality television production, we’re more likely to give credit the actor or the writer — the director’s name rarely gets an acknowledgement.

Doctor Who has one of the toughest remits on British television. For over four decades (on and off) it has remained the children’s show that grown ups love. That’s a broad church to spread the word to and each episode must be finely balanced to have enough run around with scary monsters and wacky Doctor stuff to keep the kids transfixed, while having the knowing winks and drama to keep the adults watching. And week in, week out, Doctor Who manages to walk that precarious knife-edge with aplomb.

And then we get to Midnight and the return of Russell T Davies to scribing duties for the final four episodes of his last full season as Doctor Who’s showrunner. Perhaps quite rightly, just this once, he has thought “Bugger the kids, I’m writing something for the adults.”

A Taste of My Life (Monday6.30pm, BBC2)

There’s something comfortingly lovely about A Taste of My Life, with Nigel Slater’s gentle meandering through the life of a different personality each day using the evocative power of food and eating as its touchstone. Tonight, veteran actress Liz Smith is sitting in Nigel’s kitchen. Always a pleasure, albeit an undemanding one.

Mary, Queen of Shops (Monday 9pm, BBC2)

One of the better of the buck-your-ideas-up reality shows sees Mary Portas walk into failing clothes shops/boutiques and very sternly point out what the proprietor’s are doing wrong - which is usually everything. Tonight’s task seems to be a particularly tough one as Mary gets shouted down by the manager’s husband (who just happens to be the shop’s owner) at every turn. A frustratingly entertaining watch.

Dickens’s Secret Lover (Monday 9pm, C4)

Charles Dance introduces this docu-drama that attempts to set aside the gruffly avuncular image of Charles Dickens as presented for many years. Family man Dickens, a popular figure of British respectability to this day, went to great lengths to keep his affair with Nelly Ternan, an actress 27 years his junior, a secret, and this biographical piece attempts to lift the lid on the scandal that bubbled beneath the author’s literary veneer. The excellent David Haigh stars as Dickens.

The Supersizers Go… Elizabethan (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

More entertaining culinary adventures in the company of Giles Coren and Sue Perkins who this week jump in their gastronomic TARDIS to soak up some Elizabethan cuisine. It’s perhaps the most arduous task the Supersizers have taken on yet and you’ll need a strong stomach just to watch Coren and Perkins dive into some of the feasts on offer. Sheep’s head with offal, anybody?

Battlestar Galactica (Tuesday 9pm, Sky One)

Oooh, it’s all getting tense on board the Galactica as the fourth season gets to the mid-season break so we can all catch our breath - will we find out who the last Cylon is, where Earth is and whether Adama will ever crack a smile again? It’s fast, it’s furious, it’s Battlestar Galactica!

Neighbours (Wednesday 1.45pm Five)

Awwww, it’s time to say goodbye to a Ramsay Street legend (again) as Harold Bishop (the always loveable Ian Smith) turns his back on Erinsborough. It’s enough to bring a tear to the eye of the most-hardened Neighbours devotees, but fear not, the old fella may, we hear, be popping back from time to time. One thing’s for sure, Ramsay Street will be a quieter place from now on.

EastEnders (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

A double helping of EastEnders action tonight that crams a bit of everything in there. Mad May is back for Summer and she isn’t leaving Albert Square without taking her from Dawn’s arms. There’s some quite tense stuff in here, with both Amanda Drew (May) and Kara Tointon (Dawn) on good form as the loony GP locks them in the house. Elsewhere the Albert Square Best of British day is underway, and there’s a real sense of community that’s been missing from the soap for some time. In the past, ‘Enders would have attempted to give the Dawn/May face-off the self-contained two-hander treatment, but the other events in Albert Square help to texture things nicely and move things forward.

Holby City (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

Gordon Ramsay? In Holby City? You are having an F Word laugh!

River Cottage Spring (Wednesday 9pm, C4)

I like Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. He’s like a cross between a batty Oxford professor and Hugh Grant, all packaged up in a gangly, earthy frame. I hear women go weak at the knees as he talks with passion about podding peas, and why wouldn’t they when he enthuses with this much passion about the work of River Cottage? In tonight’s final episode, Spring is on the cusp of Summer and the gang are working flat out to make elderflower champagne and spit roast the pigs for the Spring fair.

Britain’s Lost World (Thursday 9pm, BBC1)

A nicely revealing natural history documentary that sees buff historian Dan Snow, naturalist Steve Backshall and breathlessly enthusiastic Kate Humble head for the remote British World Heritage site of St Kilda. St Kilda is a jagged wasteland, home to thousands and upon thousands of birds, from puffins to gannets - and until 80 years ago was home to a small population before the island was abandoned in the face of failing crops. It’s nicely done with some beautiful photography and some genuinely interesting insights into what life must have been like for the islanders who performed death defying feats every day just to catch their dinner on a sheer cliff face.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Hiro finally returns from the past to discover his father his dead, and immediately jumps back into the past to prevent his murder. What else will he discover there? Mohinder is still droning on (does he ever shut up?), Matt’s mental abilities are still growing and Claire is kidnapped. Finally this season is starting to pick up, just as it’s about to finish. Ah well, better luck next time guys!

Great British Menu Banquet (Friday 6pm, BBC2)

The final final of this year’s Great British Menu as the winners assemble at the Gherkin in London to cook the selected dishes for some of the finest names in the culinary world.

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

A welcome haven in a sea of televisual tedium this evening as Big Brother and the football conspire to destroy any joy in the TV schedules. And remember, it’s even worse now Peep Show and Derren Brown have gone. But this is a great piece of TV, building on last week’s brilliant opener. Tonight the comic actor looks at Liverpool’s often-uncomfortable identity as a city of culture, and how that sits with the industrial and commercial face of the city. Fascinating.

8 out of 10 Cats (Friday 10pm, C4)

Sitting between the two helpings of Big Brother is the new series of 8 out of 10 Cats, with Jimmy Carr returning to quiz two teams of comedians on statistical facts and figures in the news. Team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford also return, but I do wonder what the point is - it was only ever worth tuning in for Dave Spikey as a team captain, and without him the show does limp along a bit. Still, Carr can still fire them off the cuff, and Sean Lock is usually entertaining. It all just makes me feel a bit meh.

Sex, Telly and Britain (Saturday 10.30am, Radio4)

As the TV schedules are a veritable wasteland this weekend, Square Eyes takes a rare trip to the Radio schedules. In the third part of Miranda Sawyer’s look at British culture against a backdrop of 1968, it seems that the country’s writers were turning their attentions to the Second World War. As things were hotting up in Vietnam, there was enough distance from the atrocities of WWII for wordsmiths to start satirising and commenting on those events. Includes contributions from Dad’s Army creators Jimmy Perry and David Croft.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7.10pm, BBC1)

We’re in the final lap now as Russell T Davies returns to scripting duties for the final four episodes of this series of Doctor Who. It’s a claustrophobic little tale with the Doctor having a break from Donna to take a trip on a space cruise that gets into trouble on the planet Midnight. It’s tense and scary (as you’d expect), with great turns from a guest cast that includes Lesley Sharp, Lindsey Coulson, Daniel Ryan and Holby City’s Rakie Ayola.

Kidulthood (Saturday 9.40pm, BBC3)

With the sequel, Adulthood, due in cinemas next week, it’s probably worth checking out the television debut of the original from the pen of Noel Clarke (Doctor Who’s Mickey Smith) following the lives of a group of 15 year olds in West London. Not dissimilar to BBC3 drama pilot W10 LDN - again written by Noel Clarke and directed, as here, by Menhaj Huda. Powerful stuff and rightly praised on its original release.

A Tribute to Humph (Sunday from 11.15am, Radio 4)

Going off piste again, but no strand of programming paying tribute to the late and forever great Humphrey Lyttleton can be ignored. Starting with a repeat of the jazz musician and I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue chairman’s final contribution to Desert Island Discs, the centrepiece of today’s programmes is Chairman Humph (12.04pm). Stephen Fry presents this fond look at Humph’s life and work, as told by some of his close friends and colleagues. There won’t be a dry eye in the house, but the laughter will surely outweigh the tears…

How TV Changed Britain (Sunday 8pm, C4)

This could be a contentious edition of the historically themed clips show that highlights how certain things have changed and developed against the backdrop of television. Tonight it’s the turn of how women have been viewed on television, from the post war years of simpering housewives, up to the strong role models of DCI Tennison and her more pleasing ilk. There’s also a look at the lines of What Not To Wear and other style/body image shows. And of course, a show about the portrayal of women on television wouldn’t be complete without Elsie Tanner.

TV Today’s second anniversary passed last month without much fanfare. A year ago, we compiled some geeky stats about which articles had been the most popular and the such.

There was a particular reason why we didn’t repeat that this year: one group of people has completely dominated the comments section of TV Today. Whereas most of our posts are lucky if they receive comments reaching into double figures, some have had comment threads with well over a thousand entries — so many that, on occasion, I’ve had to close the threads to avoid our web server going into complete meltdown.

The origins come from TV Today’s blog reviews of last year’s theatre casting show, Any Dream Will Do. A number of the contestants amassed fan followings, but perhaps unsurprisingly the ultimate winner, Lee Mead, acquired the largest fanbase. One particular grouping of Lee’s fans coalesced almost excatly a year ago — and tomorrow sees the anniversary of the name they acquired for themselves.

Yes, it’s a year since the birth of the Loppy…

Well, it seems the nation has gone mad for The Apprentice. While this fourth series of the series has smashed personal best ratings records pretty much episode to episode, I am somewhat surprised that the final managed to scale the heights of 8.9 million in the overnights. Even more startling is that over 10 million tuned in for the final 15 minutes as Sir Alan Sugar deliberated over the remaining candidates to choose Lee McQueen has his latest recruit.

I know The Apprentice is good - entertaining, funny, tense and infuriating all at the same time, I do wonder what it is about this particular series that has sent its popularity through the roof. Do we truly have a slow burning hit here that has smouldered away for three years to finally hit the mainstream? Yes, it did well last year on BBC1, garnering respectable ratings following the switch from BBC2, but this year has been something else.

…I am another story about a remake of The Prisoner…

Yes, the long mentioned, never made remount of cult classic The Prisoner is apparently back on, according to the fan club of the Patrick McGoohan original. In an “exclusive” news item on the website of Six of One, it is claimed that the remake will enter production in South Africa sometime in August and star Hollywood actor Jim Caviezel (The Count of Monte Cristo) as Number Six, with Sir Ian McKellen (summat about Hobbits) as Number 2.

The series, a joint venture between ITV Productions and American Movie Channel, is said to comprise six one hour episodes, all written by Lark Rise to Candleford scribe Bill Gallagher and directed by Jon Jones (Northanger Abbey).

Much of my thoughts on the second part of Steven Moffat’s most recent Doctor Who tale are mirrored with my scribbblings on part one, Silence in the Library. It’s rich and sumptuous, full of exquisite detail, big ideas and scares aplenty. In fact, it’s a step up from the previous week’s adventure with my misgivings - chiefly over the writing of Donna and some surprisingly flabby direction - all being taken care of. However that just opens up space for me to be a bit flummoxed by a dubious ending that left me a little empty…

This is a big story both for the Doctor and Donna, each facing massive emotional trials throughout. For the Doctor, he’s confronted by his future in the form of River Song and the reality that she will, at some point, become someone very special to him. Quite what the basis of their relationship is isn’t clearly stated, but taking the Time Traveller’s Wife riff and River knowing the Doctor’s real name brings confetti and rings to mind. Well, he’s had a daughter, why not a wife?

Emmerdale (Monday 7pm, ITV1)

You know things are desperate when top of your list of TV recommendations is Emmerdale - between Big Brother and the footie, it really is slim pickings out there in the wilderness. Still, there are some storylines bubbling under in Emmerdale that could develop into something, chiefly Andy Sugden’s slow-burning descent into becoming an abusive husband. Emmerdale can do powerful on occasion, but these storylines tend to get lost in the surrounding silliness of murders and explosions. Perhaps this potentially shocking storyline will be allowed the space it needs to develop into something that might make the audience sit up and take notice.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

Oooh, there’s trouble on the horizon for the EastEnders as mad Dr May Wright is back on the scene and looking for ways to snare little baby Summer away from Dawn. This really cannot end well - but whether that’s for May or the Millers remains to be seen. Amanda Drew has created one of the most memorable soap villains of recent years, giving the scary GP an effective mix of psychotic mania and tragic sympathy. It’s going to be an eventful couple of weeks in Walford.

The Victorian Sex Explorer (Tuesday 9pm, C4)

Part of the Victorian Passions season. Rupert Everett follows in the footsteps of Sir Richard Burton, the infamous 19th century explorer who embraced everything the Middle East to offer - and then some…

The Supersizers Go… Seventies (Tuesday BBC2, 9pm)

I’ve really grown to love this perky little series with Giles Coren and Sue Perkins as they embark on gastronimical time travel to consume the diets of a different era. This week may have more resonance for a majority of the audience as they’re living the 70s life this week, which means Angel Delight and fondue. Hurrah! Thinking about it, I can’t actually remember what I ate in the 1970s, but I’m looking forward to finding out!

Summer Heights High (Tuesday 10.30pm, BBC3)

A curious little sitcom from Australian comedian Chris Lilley, filmed documentary style a la The Office and set in a school. Lilley plays the majority of the parts, from drama teacher Mr G to an exchange student, with hit and miss effect. It’s all fine, but we have seen it all before really. Oh well.

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm BBC1)

And this is it, the final titanic battle between some of the most painfully tedious and vicious (and let’s not forget stupid) candidates a series of The Apprentice has ever put forward. Yes it’s been hugely entertaining and the ratings have been superb this year, but at what cost? Will Sir A’s bubble burst this year or will The Apprentice rise to new heights in the next, inevitable series? Whatever the future of this ratings buster, tonight the remaining candidates must create and present to industry experts an original fragrance for men. Of course this all secondary to Sir A’s deliberations, Nick’s raised eyebrows and Margaret’s pursed lips, and rest assured, there’ll be lots of that tonight…

Back To You (Wednesday 9.30pm, More 4)

Having been in the news recently following a heart attack, tonight sees More 4 bringing us the first episode of his new sitcom, where the on-time Frasier actor plays Chuck Darling, a faded news anchor who returns to his old job in Pittsburgh after being fired from his job in LA. His co-anchor just happens to be his ex-wife, played by Everybody Loves Raymond’s Patricia Heaton. And hilarity ensues… sort of. This is by no means terrible, but when you’ve played comedy royalty, audiences are always going to be comparing - and compared to Frasier, Back To You is found seriously wanting.

Heroes (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

Ah, so now we finally discover what happened to Nathan and Peter following the climax to season one, in a flashback episode that fills in some much needed blanks. I’m still not hugely fussed by this show, but occasionally it can be mildly diverting.

Margaret Thatcher - the Long Walk to Finchley (Thursday 9pm, BBC4)

Andrea Riseborough is utterly stunning in this frothy drama about Margaret Thatcher’s early drive to become a force to be reckoned with in British politics. A young Margaret Roberts is determined to make it to parliament, despite the resistance of the dusty old soaks on the selection committees - a woman? In parliament? Surely not! It’s perhaps a little to light in places, but who said politics is supposed to be heavy and worthy all the time? And this is worth it just for Riseborough’s turn as Margaret Alone - this is a talent to watch very closely in the coming years.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm)

Ooh, lots going on in he Street tonight as David Platt is released from the slammer, Steve and Dan’s rivalry boils over into something more sinister and Becky has Jason wrapped around her little finger. With Corrie at the moment, it’s all or nothing, and tonight’s pair of episodes is no exception. There’s a lot going on here, and it all feels too much - what happened to the balance that this show had? It will get it back, but right now, EastEnders is looking by far the stronger of the two - who would have thought?

The Weakest Link - The Apprentice Special (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

Anne Robinson giving it out to Katie Hopkins? Oh yes, I’ll buy tickets for that face off!

Alexei Sayle’s Liverpool (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

A fascinating three part series that sees Alexei Sayle revisiting the city that he left when he was 18 years old for the bright lights of London. Sayle is always passionate and this is good stuff as he attempts to reconnect with his roots in a city that still has a massive cultural resonance for not only Great Britain but for the world at large.

Peep Show (Friday 10.30pm, C4)

The final episode of this brilliant run for the best comedy on TV - but don’t worry, we are assured Jeremy and Mark will return for a new series next year. Hurrah! But what’s this? Jez waking up to his failings and realising what a loser he is? Joining a cult? MOVING OUT OF THE FLAT?! Jeremy and Mark’s dysfunctional flat share coupling is one of the great partnerships of modern television - Jeremy cannot possibly move out. But Mark has enough problems to deal with as he has one last go with Sophie - well, we didn’t see that one coming did we? Friday nights will be a lesser place from now on.

Doctor Who (Saturday 7pm, BBC1)

Second part of Steven Moffat’s brilliant and nightmarish tale set on a vast library in the far future. With the Doctor running for his life from the shadowy Vashta Nerada and Donna trapped in a strange domestic world that just doesn’t feel quite right, this is one of the most confusing yet satisfying Doctor Who tales for quite some time. There is so much layering here, repeated viewing might be needed to get the best out of The Forest of Death, but there are scares aplenty to keep the little ones interested and enough questions to keep the adults hooked.

The Minotaur Parts One and Two (Saturday 7.35pm/9.40pm)

If blokes kicking a pig’s bladder around a patch of grass for 90 minutes isn’t your thing, then dive into a bit of high culture - with a repeat of I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue sandwiched in between. This is Harrison Birtwistle’s latest opera, based around the legend of the Minotaur - you know, a prince comes, stalks a half man, half bull creature through a maze, kills it, goes home, all with the help of a beautiful princess. It’s a great story, and this opera goes beyond sumptuous, full of amazing imagery and powerful music. Avoid the footie and Big Brother and watch something worthwhile for a change.

*Big Brother (Saturday 9pm, C4) * Oh whatever.

Taggart (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

It’s amazing when faced with the onslaught of football and Big Brother that we can take solace in a tried and tested drama format. In tonight’s everyday story of Scottish policeman, Burke and his team investigate the link between a murder and an illegal betting syndicate. It’s actually good stuff and still manages the odd surprise - who would have thought it after all these years?

The Sunday Night Project (Sunday 10pm, C4)

Who on earth thought The Friday Night Project would work on a Sunday? The always enjoyable pairing of JLC and Alan Carr works on a Friday as it has a brilliant, naughty end of the week feel to it. We don’t have to get up on Saturday morning, we can kick back with a beer and enjoy the mayhem. On a Sunday, who’s going to enjoy some silly banter with Peter Andre and Katie Price when they have to be up and off to work on Monday morning. No - great show, horrendous scheduling.

TV Today is very happy at the news that sleuthing magician’s assistant Jonathan Creek is back for a one-off Christmas special as Alan Davies returns to his most successful role. There was some worry that the notion of a revival for Jonathan Creek was just based on an off the cuff comment from writer David Renwick that was picked up by the papers in a slow news week.

Thankfully not, and the BBC Press Office has confirmed the special episode, although it doesn’t indicate if the transmission is for Christmas, with a very non-committal “later this year” appearing in the press release.

While the final series of Jonathan Creek was, to be fair, not much cop, there’s still plenty of mileage left in the format, with Davies’s Creek still playing illusion designer to the irrepressible Adam Klaus, once again played by the brilliant Stuart Milligan. And it seems Jonathan, like James Bond, will have a new girl for a new adventure as Sheridan Smith arrives as the “fiercely sceptical” Joey Ross.

If there was a Doctor Who story that was going to garner a bit more attention than usual, it was Silence in the Library, the first of a two-part adventure from executive producer elect Steven Moffat. This spooky tale sees the Doctor and Donna land in a library in the very far future. The library is so vast it needs an entire planet to house it, containing as it does every book ever published, and at the core of the planet is the universe’s largest hard drive… but where is everybody?

The w