July 2008 Archives

Oh good grief, why is there all this fuss over a glorified game show host quitting Countdown? I must have missed the memo informing me that Carol Vorderman had been inaugurated in the national treasure hall of fame. What of particular merit has she done for 26 years apart from stick letters up on a board and add up some numbers for a massive salary that she only apparently had to work for 40 days a year to earn. Be still my bleeding heart…

Ahem… Sorry, rant over…

The news that Vorderman was to leave Countdown broke just days after Des O’Connor announced he would be leaving the show, after two years in the hot seat previously occupied by Richard Whiteley and, briefly, Des Lynam. The reasons for Vorderman’s wish to depart appear to stem from an earlier disagreement with producers over the notion of introducing a premium rate phone line element to the long-running show. Oh, and the small matter of an alleged 90 per cent pay cut from a salary rumoured be over £1 million

Video searching site Blinkx today launches a new site, Blinkx Remote, devoted solely to finding broadcast programmes which are legally available to view on the web.

With all of the UK’s terrestrial broadcasters now offering some degree of free catch-up offerings via the web, Blinkx Remote indexes all the programmes available, categorises them by original broadcaster and genre, and provides links to the broadcasters’ own on-demand sites.

If you have a Windows PC and can therefore view programmes from all the broadcasters, it’s sure to be a useful tool, especially as it seems to be head and shoulders above the navigation tools found on most of the commercial broadcasters’ websites. As a Mac-only user, I’m not sure it necessarily brings anything to a party where your only viewing option is iPlayer, whose own navigation, particularly after the recent revamp, is pretty good anyway.

Nevertheless, if you ever watch TV online, it’s a worthwhile addition to your bookmarks list.

So we discover this morning that Ofcom has fined the BBC £400,000 for misleading viewers and listeners in a number of competitions. The full text of each of the eight adjudications can be found on Ofcom’s website.

It’s the biggest fine that Ofcom has ever laid on the Corporation in one go, but for eight incursions the amount is on a par with the £50,000 penalty imposed after the various Blue Peter scandals.

While the cost of the fine is, ultimately, borne by us licence fee payers, given the huge level of income that the licence fee structure provides (£3.369 billion, according to the Corporation’s latest annual report) it’s barely more than a dent (and is also just less than the base salary, before bonuses, of BBC Directior of Vision Jana Bennett). It’s also far less than the £5.675 million fine imposed on ITV for its premium rate phone lines.

But just what does Ofcom do with all this money?

The news that Simon MacCorkindale is to join the cast of The Sound of Music has been greeted, in The Stage as much as anywhere, that he is “best known for his role as Harry Harper in Casualty”.

Those are words that could never be written by anyone who was witnessed the sheer lunatic majesty that was Manimal. Once that’s seared into your brain, it never leaves you.

So Peter Barron, editor of BBC2’s flagship news programme Newsnight, is leaving the Corporation to become head of communications and public affairs for the UK, Ireland and Benelux regions.

In many ways it’s a perfect job move for Barron, who has long been an advocate for experimenting with ways in which new media and interactivity can be integrated into a thriving newsroom environment. Not that his efforts always met with enthusiasm from his key anchorman:

Barron’s move takes him out of the running for the job of BBC2 Controller, after Roly Keating announced he was leaving to lead the Corporation’s digital archive project — himself no stranger to Paxman’s barbs…

Seriously, it’s thought that Barron was still ‘one job away’ from being able to go for a position as a channel controller. Previously, people in his position would go to the US or a satellite channel in the UK, but still stay in television. It’s a sign of the changing times that a corporate PR position, albeit for the largest media corporation in the world, is now seen as being just as valid a stepping stone.

Return to Castaway (Monday 7.30pm, BBC2)

Continuing the nostalgic series that looks back at fondly remembered reality shows, this week we get to Castaway, the BBC’s boldly worthy experiment from back in 2000 that didn’t quite make the mark that was hoped for. Still, it gave the world Ben Fogle…

Coronation Street (Monday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

Finally Corrie seems to get some bite back as Liz McDonald tries to get it on with Harry, which just succeeds in winding up his ex-missus, Clarissa. One thing that Coronation Street does well, even in those occasional fallow periods, is witty and barbed exchanges, and this is good stuff. Even better is the brawl between Liz and Clarissa in Wednesday night’s episode, a classic amongst the many, many fights we’ve seen in the Rovers over the years.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

Roger Lloyd-Pack guest-stars in tonight’s episode of the hugely enjoyable New Tricks as the bassist from a 70s band whose drummer has committed suicide. The band are closing ranks, making it difficult for Sandra and her team of old boys to get to the truth behind the death. Well-scripted and well-acted by an accomplished and engaging cast, New Tricks is always a pleasure and never, ever a chore.

Holby City (Tuesday 8pm, BBC1)

Obviously after that crazy trailer that’s been running for the last week, the ratings will be through the roof with people tuning in to a see show about a hospital that seemingly has everything from kinky sex and lifts that grow hands and molest its passengers. How disappointed they’ll be to find it only has Vyvian from The Young Ones having flashbacks to his time in the Congo. Surely there’s been some mistake…

Bonekickers (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

You know the name, you know the time - if Bonekickers hasn’t become appointment TV for you over the last few weeks, then get your diary out right now. You’ll listen slack-jawed at the over-egged dialogue, roll your eyes at the dreadful casting and laugh yourself sick at the wildy outrageous and silly plots. Tonight it’s some old toot about a brick from the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and a murder. And all this in Bath, which seems such a nice, quiet touristy kind of place. I’m hoping for an episode set in Sally Lunn’s tea shop, if only to give Hugh Bonneville the chance to say “Nice buns”. I know I said I was going to lay off being nasty to Bonekickers, but sometimes it’s just like shooting fish in a barrel.

House of Saddam (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

With a stunning central performance from Igal Naor, this four-part drama is a compelling account of the rise and fall of Saddam Hussein. It’s chilling yet uttery fascinating, and in tonight’s opening episode we’re in 1979 on the eve of Saddam’s rise to power and a violent culling of those who would stand in his way. Naor makes the would-be dictator a charismatic figure, and that sometimes makes this a difficult watch when you realise your sympathies lie with the baddies.

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

It’s another EastEnders wedding, and if ever there was a doomed union, it’s Sean Slater and Roxy Mitchell. They’re hardly the most stable of individuals, but together they’ll be a disaster. And I guess that’s the fun here - as an audience, we know all this, and that gives a heightened sense of expectation for where things will go in the future. But we still don’t they if they go through with it, and Roxy’s sister, Ronnie, is determined to do everything in her power to stop the nuptials.

Harley Street (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

Oh joy, more insidiously addictive and ham-fisted drama to revel in. The real virtue of Harley Street *is that it almost makes *Bonekickers look like a competently made adventure thriller. Almost. I have no empathy for any character in this show, which is surely a killer for any popular drama (and I use popular very loosely here)? Even Shaun Parkes as the vaguely engaging Dr Ekkow Obbiang doesn’t quite manage to pull it off, even though he seems to be the only trying to work with some flimsy material. If I walked into this surgery I think I’d choke on the overwhelming sense of smug. Still, at least tonight’s episode has a nice turn from Sally Phillips who effortlessly shows the regulars how to do this acting lark properly.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

After last night’s somewhat foul-mouthed (and utterly brilliant) penultimate heat of this year’s contest, it’s all to play for in the toughest kitchen on the box. This really has been a fantastic series, certainly the best of the celebrity variant, and it just whets my appetite for more.

The Kevin Bishop Show (Friday 10.35pm, C4)

While I’m all for new comedy, I’m afraid that the attraction of Kevin Bishop eludes me. Star Stories is bizarrely overrated, and why anybody would think that giving star Bishop his own show (especially after the awful, awful, awful pilot) was a good idea is beyond me. But then, somebody keeps recommissioning Tittybangbang, so in the world of comedy, there’s no accounting for taste.

Comedy Connections (Friday 10.35pm, BBC1)

Comedy Connections has been running long enough for it to be a surprise that the show has never turned its attentions to arguably the finest sitcom of the 1980s. Yes, Minister, and subsequently Yes, Prime Minister, are, even now, sublimely, satirical wonderful, and this is a lovely exercise in nostalgia. Of course, the talking heads are tragically bereft of the much-missed Paul Eddington and Nigel Hawthorne, but those that are still with us speak with affection and awe at their talents. Lovely.

BBC Proms 2008 (Saturday 6.45pm, BBC2)

My word, but it’s a barren wasteland on the box on a Saturday night now. It’s enough to make you watch Big Brother. Or catch up with Bonekickers on the iPlayer. But let’s not be too hasty - there’s always The Proms, which, even if you’re not a fan of classical music, you can always kid yourself that you’re being cultured. The Proms is one of those undertakings that makes you glad we still have a BBC - it’s a fantastic celebration, and this year sees Nigel Kennedy return after an absence of two decades. Enjoy.

The Flipside of Dominic Hyde (Saturday 7pm, BBC4)

A seminal and fondly-remembered entry from the Play for Today strand, starring a fresh-faced Peter Firth as Dominic Hyde, who travels from the future to the 20th century to track down his ancestors. I’m almost embarrassed to be relying on a repeat from a couple of decades ago on a Saturday night, but this holds together really well, thanks to an engaging script and good performances from Firth and Caroline Langrishe.

Comics Brittania (Saturday 10pm, BBC2)

BBC2 really is a lifesaver this evening, with the second part of this charming trip down memory lane that examines some of the great heroes from British comics from the 50s to 70s. Dan Dare, Roy of the Rovers and The Four Marys - yes, they were from Bunty and don’t ask me how I know that - are all here. This is a documentary that transports me back to Saturday afternoons at my gran’s, when Granddad would turn up with the latest comics from the newsagent. Glorious stuff, and with Armando Iannucci’s narration, this has a nicely affectionate tone.

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

The current series of Top Gear *comes to an end this evening, and sees the boys meet their counterparts from the German equivalent of the show for the ultimate extreme race challenge - *The Bill’s German crossover seems to have started a trend! Fun stuff as always, and with Richard Hammond and James May having agreed new contract terms with Auntie, the boys will be back together for a new series in the Autumn.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

Oh yes, this is classic Midsomer Murders, one of those tales that takes an eccentric group of villagers and throws Barnaby and Jones into the middle of things. Tonight it’s the turn of the close-knit Midsomer Magic Circle, who our duo of dour detectives are called in to investigate following the death of a magician’s assistant on stage. It’s all typical fare, and the usual quality guest cast add a sheen of gravitas. This week it’s Ronald Pickup and Brigit Forsythe chewing up the scenery.

It’s been a funny old day, what with Des O’Connor quitting Countdown, Bradley Walsh rumoured to be starring in the UK spin on Law and Order and Emma Bunton becoming Judy Finnegan for a time. With that in mind, I leave you with this bonkers new trailer for Holby City that has been doing the rounds on the BBC over the last few days. Beware, it’s not for the faint hearted…

The mind boggles, it really does…

Oh those pesky audience ratings, they do seem to get journalists into a tizzy don’t they? There is endless analysis and commentary and a level of general hysteria that even Chicken Little would be embarrassed about. Yes all right, we get it. The ratings are falling in! The ratings are falling in!

Take last night’s EastEnders - the Guardian is practically hopping with sweaty-palmed excitement over the fact that, according to the overnights, EastEnders recorded its fourth worst rating since, like January 2003! Urk! I’m not too sure what the significance of the January 2003 date is, but these things appear to be important to ratings pundits. Granted, 4.9 million isn’t great for the BBC’s flagship drama, but let’s also consider that it’s summer, the weather has been quite nice this week and an hour long Emmerdale was doing its usual business on ITV. EastEnders, in the current climate, always does badly on a Tuesday night when the soap audience is split - that should have ceased to be news about 12 months ago…

Last night I did something I have never done before. I was nervous, my stomach churning as I contemplated what I was about to do - and believe me, it was not an enterprise I entered into lightly…

Afterwards I was plagued by a general feeling of ennui, an emptiness the like of which I have never experienced before. But I was also left with a strange sliver of optimism and hope for the future. Some of you at this point may have concluded that I had my very first Pot Noodle, and I’d forgive you for that - the effect is bizarrely the same…

But no… last night, for the very first time, I downloaded an entire season of a TV series from iTunes, all on the eve that Fox TV shows are to be available for the first time through the site’s TV download portal.

Eating with the Enemy (Monday-Friday 4.30pm, BBC2)

Four food critics are presented with dishes cooked by amateur chefs, delivering, as they are wont to do, typically caustic appraisals. It’s a bit like Masterchef, but with everything that makes that show fun (ie John and Gregg) taken out of the equation. The critics panel is made up of Jay Rayner, Charles Campion, Kate Spicer and Toby Young. It’s a bit low rent, to be honest, and I do wish Kate Spicer would smile once in a while - it beats working, after all.

Dragons’ Den (Monday 9pm, BBC2)

Bliss! Some smart scheduling brain has wisely decided to put something decent on the TV over the summer months, and your TV Today correspondent is very grateful. I love Dragons’ Den - it has drama, it has comedy, it has the always-lovely and polite Evan Davis. It also has my favourite Dragon, the ebullient Duncan Bannatyne, who can cut down nervous and hopeful entrepreneurs with a single look of those laser beam eyes. The Dragon’s might be out, but I’m always in for this addictive show.

The Wire (Monday 10pm, FX)

The fifth series of what many high falutin commentators (or your TV savvy mate down the pub) will move mountains to tell you it’s the best television drama of all time. Clearly these deluded individuals have never seen Bonekickers. The Wire is undeniably brilliant, of course, and this fifth season shifts focus yet again to the press and media in Baltimore and how they fit into the landscape between the police and the drug dealers.

Bonekickers (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

“Get your coat, you’ve pulled,” growls Gillian Magwilde in fluent cliché as she drags colleague Ben into a newly-discovered burial chamber beneath the Roman Baths in, um… Bath. Ooh, I wonder if they’ll get trapped down there? It’s as silly as ever, and however fond I’m becoming of this crazy drama series, I can’t quite bring myself to forgive its inappropriate excess and bad dialogue. And isn’t it about time a student slapped Dolly with a charge of sexual harassment?

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

We’re a stone’s throw from Friday’s last hurrah of Celebrity Masterchef, but the three finalists have plenty of challenges to overcome yet. Tonight they cook for a hungry gang of army cadets before heading to some of London’s top restaurants to refine their skills. I adore this silly, addictive slice of culinary entertainment unconditionally, and it never fails to hit the mark.

Burn Up (Wednesday 9pm, BBC2)

A slick stylish eco-thriller with a top cast, Burn Up casts Rupert Penry Jones as Tom McConnell, who takes over the running of major oil company, Arrow Oil, on the sudden retirement of his father in law. And from this point, his life is turned upside down as the lines between friends and enemies blur, with attacks coming from all asides. With a cast that includes Bradley Whitford, for once playing a bad guy, and Marc Warren, this is well acted, well scripted fare, despite the heavy handed ecological message. But hey, we live in difficult times… Concludes on Friday.

The Making of Me (Thursday 9pm, BBC1)

John Barrowman, he gets everywhere, doesn’t he? In The Making of Me, he subjects himself to a battery of tests, ranging from psychological to physical in an attempt to determine whether his sexuality was detfined by his upbringing, or whether he was born gay. The results aren’t exactly conclusive, but nevertheless, this is an interesting approach to a pertinent question, and Barrowman is a genial subject.

Harley Street (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

I still can’t shake the feeling that with Harley Street somebody is having one big joke at the audience’s expense. I mean, with Bonekickers, I don’t think anybody set out to make it that bad - you’d have to be seriously masochistic for that. But with Harley Street, I think everybody involved knew exactly what they were doing, which is why I can’t just let myself go with it. The high camp was quite charming in the first episode as Paul Nicholls’ Dr Robert Fielding shags his way through an hour of paper thin storylines, but by episode two it’s just plain irritating. Hey ho, at least we’ve got Suranne Jones’s caked on posh accent to jolly things along.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

I wish Steve and Michelle would just get over it and move on, allowing Corrie get stuck in to some decent storylines again. Tonight, ‘Chelle is all on for chucking the ring away, which only gives Simon Gregson more chance to do some of that fine gurning he’s perfected over the years. What is it with the soaps? With Steve and Michelle, Corrie had one of its best couples in years, but as always, the writers can’t resist mucking around with a good thing. Just stop it!

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

It’s all getting very tense in the Celebrity Masterchef kitchen, and tonight, one of our hopefuls will be kicked out of the competition. Will Andi Peters recover from his raw partridge disaster? Can Mark Monaghan sort out his presentation? Will Louis Emerick’s soufflé see him through? And will Liz off of Atomic Kitten just carry on being scrummy and lovely? As always though, will any of it be enough to impress John and Gregg, let alone the three joyless restaurant critics who always manage to annoy me?

Comedy Connections (Friday 10.35pm, BBC1)

A welcome return for this light but always-enjoyable documentary series that looks at some of our greatest TV comedies and the names that made them. Tonight’s labyrinthine journey goes behind the scenes on Till Death Us Do Part, and includes interviews with Una Stubbs, Tony Booth and Alf Garnett himself, Warren Mitchell. Till Death is high on the list of most socially important sit-coms of all time, and this is good stuff from all concerned.

Hadrian (Saturday 8pm, BBC2)

Dan Snow, with typical ebullience, sets off on a journey to find out more about Roman emperor Hadrian and discover if there’s more to him than just a wall near the Scottish border. Thankfully there is, or this would be a very short documentary. Snow’s enthusiasm for his subject is always infectious, making this an enjoyable hour. The film ties in to the British Museum’s forthcoming exhibition, Hadrian: Empire and Conflict.

Casualty (Saturday 8.20pm, BBC1)

With a tedious singing competition on ITV and the revival of a 70s sports show on Five, there’s little choice but to find solace in that perennial Saturday night drama Casualty. It’s never top of my list these days, but that’s not to say the old warhorse doesn’t still have something going for it. But when, oh when, did everybody start sleeping with each other? It’s amazing the patients ever get any care while the staff at Holby A&E are carrying out examinations on each other. Tonight, some extra-marital chicanery has nasty consequences when Jessica and Sean’s son is in an accident while they are both in bed with their lovers. Ouch! Oh, and there might be some medical stuff happening too.

Comics Britannia (Saturday 9.30pm, BBC2)

A terrestrial run for this lovely little documentary series previously shown on BBC4, showcasing the tradition of comics in Great Britain. The first, and best, looks at the rise of the Beano and the Dandy, comics that kept children enthralled in their millions through the likes of Desperate Dan, Little Plum, Lord Snooty, Mini the Minx and, of course, Dennis the Menace. Talking heads contributions are from Steve Bell, Jacqueline Wilson and Michael Rosen, along with some of the creative minds who brought these characters to life.

The Great Escape (Sunday 5.15pm, BBC2)

Somebody is mucking around with the golden rule of television - who in their right mind would think of putting The Great Escape on when it isn’t a bank holiday? Madness! Still, I’m a sucker for this old classic, so bring it on.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

When a German businessman’s body is dragged out of the harbour, it brings Inspector George Gently and sidekick DS Bacchus running. Foul deeds have been committed and it’s up to our vintage coppers to sort out the mess. This a nice little show, and Martin Shaw has that reliable air about him - the same feeling of familiarity that we get from John Nettles in Midsomer Murders. It makes for comfortable viewing, and there are some twists and turns along the way to keep things ticking over.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

You know exactly what you’re going to get with Midsomer Murders, week in, week out, so talking about the actual plot mechanics of an individual episode is largely irrelevant. It’s what keeps us coming back in our millions, so why mess with a tried and tested and formula? In tonight’s sleepy investigation, Barnaby and Jones investigate a murder that could have links to Jones’s past. Gasp!

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

Business as usual for the mild-mannered serial killer. Tonight’s episode is notable for British audiences as they might just recognise new character Lila - it’s Jaime Murray, formerly of Hustle, who Dexter encounters at Narcotics Anonymous.

I like a good TV crossover, and frankly, we simply don’t have enough on British television. Yes we might get Charlie Fairhead walking through an episode of Holby Blue on his way to the loo or something, but that’s not a crossover, that’s just lazy. So as you can imagine, I’m cock-a-hoop at the news that perennial ITV drama, The Bill, is to celebrate its 25th anniversary with an audacious crossover project…

Sadly, however, we won’t be seeing DCI Jack Meadows and his team turning up in Bonekickers to arrest Gillian Magwilde and her brood of wannabe Indiana Joneses for trespassing. Shame. The long-running police procedural will actually be going further afield for this celebratory enterprise and team up with a show that few people on these shores will have seen.

A couple of random thoughts for this afternoon (is this otherwise known as a slow news day?)…

Many regular readers will aware TV Today’s affection for Doctor Who, old and new. Scott and myself have been keeping the faith for more years than we care to remember. We were there when the first episode of Sylvester McCoy’s final series crashed and burned to the nether regions of the top 100 with 3.1 million viewers, to much gnashing of teeth and tears from the hardcore fan base…

So it’s with something bordering on disbelief that I sometimes greet the audience response to the series in its modern form, not least of all the news that the much-talked about final episode of the latest series pulled in a final rating of 10.57 million according to BARB (as reported by the Doctor Who website Outpost Gallifrey).

Into the Labyrinth is a curiosity of a children’s adventure series, shown in three chunks of episodes by ITV from 1981. It feels like a series slightly out of time, a throwback to the 1970s and shows like Ace of Wands and The Tomorrow People, a last hurrah for the grand tradition of fantasy adventure on children’s TV. It’s rarely remembered in those conversations over a pint down the pub, but for those that do, it holds a place of fervent affection in their hearts - and rightly so.

This neat little DVD package from the folks at Network (who have done sterling work in the name of cult TV), collects together all three series of Into the Labyrinth, which I would hazard is the best way to package it. I remember having some scratchy VHS copies back in the day, so it’s nice to have everything under one roof. First off, there are no extras whatsoever, which is a shame. A couple of cast interviews would have been very welcome, but at least the weight of all the episodes together is enough to make the package viable.

Diving into the first episode for the first time in years, I was struck by just how clearly I remember that title sequence, with haunting theme music and sweeping views of the caves at Cheddar Gorge, where some brief location shooting took place. Simon Beale, Lisa Turner and Simon Henderson (all still jobbing actors) are children Phil, Helen and Terry, who are enlisted by the mysterious Rothgo (Ron Moody) to help him regain his magical powers. The evil witch Belor has imprisoned him, and to break free, the children must travel into the labyrinth and to different time zones to regain the Nidus, source of the magician’s magic. Within each time, the children will encounter different versions of Rothgo in a variety of guises that nicely play to Moody’s extensive skills as a character actor.

Return to… Airport (Monday 7.30pm, BBC2)

Like last week’s retrospective on Vets in Practice, this exercise in nostalgia continues apace throughout the week and revisits the ratings busting mammoth of the fly on the wall genre that was Airport. This fly on the wall series was a huge success at the time, and is arguably responsible for the phenomenon of the reality TV star. Everybody remembers Jeremy Spake, a supervisor working for Aeroflot who launched himself, thanks to Airport, into a reasonably successful TV career. This side effect aside, Airport was inexplicably compelling and this is an enjoyable look back at a slice of TV history.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

An interesting episode of this hugely enjoyable drama, penned as it is by actor Chris Coghill, best known for his roles in Shameless, amongst others. It guest-stars Dexter Fletcher in a tale that sees the death of an actor being looked into when the thesp’s daughter releases a biography of her father that suggests his death may not have been from natural causes… As always, it’s slightly off the wall with some lovely bits of comedy in amongst the drama.

Liz Smith Night (Monday from 9pm, BBC4)

Oh how joyous, a strand of programming devoted to everybody’s favourite pensioner, indefatigable Liz Smith, better known as The Royle Family’s Nana. The evening kicks off with the last visit to The Royle Family, The Queen of Sheba, in which Smith delivers a heartbreaking final performance as Nana. There are also showings of other Smith turns, including Mike Leigh’s 1973 Play For Today, Hard Labour. The centrepiece of the evening is Mark Lawson Talks to Liz Smith, in which the always charming and self-effacing actress talks in detail about a life that started in near poverty and took her to being a national treasure.

Bonekickers (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

My new favourite thing continues in fine, over-cooked form as our team of dialogue-chewing archaeologists uncover human remains in the mud of the Bristol Channel. Could there be links back to Bristol’s place in the slave trade of the 18th century? What a shame they couldn’t uncover a better draft of the script in the mud. It’s all fun in a way it clearly wasn’t meant to be, and it’s almost heartbreaking to watch Julie Graham, a fine, fine actress, wrestle further with the character of Dr Gillian Magwilde, a role she should never have been cast in. Considering it’s from the minds behind Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes, you desperately hope Gene Hunt is going to arrive and arrest them all.

Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

I am getting a little bored of food shows that see a chef of choice setting off around the country to ooh and aah over great food - Rick Stein has been doing it well enough for so many years, do we really need more? Still, as Marco Pierre White galumphs around the country looking for the best of British food, Jimmy Doherty off of Jimmy’s Farm takes a different tack here and turns his attention to farming. And it works - as issues of food wastage and supply become our nation’s preoccupation, this is an eye opening foray into a world that few of us see when we look at the chicken on our plate. And Doherty is a genial guide, being as passionate about produce as supply and the farmers he encounters on his trip.

Private Practice (Tuesday 10pm, Living)

The Grey’s Anatomy spin-off receives its UK premiere on Living, and sees Kate Walsh take the character of Dr Addison Montgomery to a private surgery in Santa Monica. This doesn’t have the bite of Grey’s, but Walsh is a likeable enough actress to make the change in tone work, although the overt leaning towards light, dippy humour could become wearing as the series progresses.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

It’s semi-final time for the Celebrity Masterchef hopefuls, and now the pressure is on - as Gregg would have it, this competition JUST, GETS. TOUGHER!!!!!. And with having to cook for 600 beefy construction workers en masse, Gregg, for once, might not be letting hyperbole get the better of him.

The Thirties in Colour (Wednesday 9pm, BBC4)

Fascinating opener of a four part documentary series that examines the changes in photographic techniques that exploded in the 1930s to allow film to be shot in colour for the very first time. This first instalment focuses on the sequences shot by the socialite Rosie Newman, who caught the very young princesses Elizabeth and Margaret playing together in their back garden - Newman was the future King’s next door neighbour at the time!

Harley Street (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

ITV is still seeking a saviour in the drama stakes, following plucky entries from the likes of He Kills Coppers and The Fixer. Unfortunately for the share price, Harley Street is not going to be it, making The Palace look as if it was written by Marcel Proust. Paul Nicholls is Dr Robert Fielding, a good medic with a big heart, NHS lackey by night, swish Harley Street doc by day. Considering the hours he keeps, it’s amazing Fielding has the time to squeeze in as much sex as he does, let alone the energy - but he does. And that’s the thing with Harley Street, it’s all white coat and no knickers - and as we know from Hotel Babylon, that can work. Harley Street doesn’t because most of the characters are so unlikable that it is rendered bereft of charm. And like Julie Graham in Bonekickers, the usually likeable Suranne Jones is so miscast as Fielding’s plum-in-gob oppo in the Harley Street practice, it hurts. But with torturous dialogue like: “Can we make this quick, I have half an embassy to inoculate this morning.”, Harley Street might just find a place in my affections for some undemanding, slightly laughable fare for a Thursday night.

The Unseen Alistair Cook (Thursday 9pm, BBC4)

An enjoyable profile of the legendary broadcaster whose Letter From America kept us enthralled for decades.

Superstars (Friday 8pm, Five)

Aw, bless Five, they do try don’t they? And I’m glad they do as tonight a TV classic returns in the form of Superstars, resurrected by Auntie Beeb a couple of years back to a lacklustre response. To be honest, I stick around for the theme tune (which is a beauty), but the mechanics of the contest as famous sports personalities compete (this time in teams) is always a bit dull. Still, we’ve got Jim Rosenthal chewing up the scenery on hosting duties, which is always worthwhile.

EastEnders (Friday 7.30pm, BBC1)

It’s all very been tense in EastEnders this week as the Mitchells have all been off on a little jolly so the Enders’ production team can double-bank a couple of episodes. The best thing about this week has been the introduction of Archie Mitchell, as played by the brilliant Larry Lamb. He’s a nasty piece of work, and let’s hope his appearance in this sequence of away day episodes will be extended.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

The second quarterfinal and my money is on Wendi Peters. Go Cilla!

Would I Lie to You? (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

A reasonably entertaining panel game in which Angus Deayton chairs two teams, captained by David Mitchell and Lee Mack, who tell each other tall tales with the aim being to guess what’s true and what isn’t. Very similar to Radio 4’s The Unbelievable Truth (which Mitchell chairs), this could be pretty low rent fare, but Mitchell, Mack and Deayton are all pretty sharp in the laugh stakes, and with guests like Rob Brydon, it’s not going to be a dull affair.

Dad’s Army (Saturday 7pm, BBC2)

While every episode of Dad’s Army is always a winner (no, really they are), and always worth recommending, I’m flagging this repeat showing up to highlight Ian Lavender’s comments earlier this week on the state of British television. In Dad’s Army’s 40th anniversary year, he might actually have a point.

Carry on Night (Saturday, from 7.30pm, BBC2)

Looking around the schedules for tonight, this evening of programming to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Carry On films is a lifeline to avoid the Saturday night tedium. It’s a bit of a cheat though, as there’s nothing here that’s been produced specially, comprising a showing of Carry on Camping (always a pleasure, never a chore) and another outing for BBC4’s Kenneth Williams biopic, Fantabulosa! Best of all is a dusting down of Cor, Blimey!, previously shown on ITV a good few years ago. This is Terry Johnson’s comedy drama that focuses on the relationship between Sid James and Barbara Windsor, and is beautifully done. Geoffrey Hutchings makes a great Sid James, but Samantha Spiro as Babs is just magnificent. Highly recommended.

Foyle’s War (Saturday 9pm, ITV1)

Much as I like Foyle’s War, if a repeat from an earlier series is the best ITV can do on a Saturday night, summer or not, then things really are desperate, aren’t they?

Doctor Who (Sunday 5.35pm, BBC1)

Hang on a minute, weren’t we here last week? If you failed to catch the season finale of Doctor Who, then both The Stolen Earth and Journey’s End are shown here back to back.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

We previewed this episode in last week’s Square Eyes, but it failed to materialise due to the overrunning of the Wimbledon final on BBC1. It’s good, gentle Sunday night fare with Martin Shaw and Lee Ingleby making a likeable crime-solving partnership.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

Upstairs, Downstairs star Simon Williams guests in tonight’s Midsomer Murders as an outspoken magazine owner who might just have got up the noses of a few locals in the village of Midsomer Sonning (just how many of these villages are there?). Of course, it’s not long before bodies are turning up left, right and centre. But is Guy Sandys (Williams) murderer or potential victim? Barnaby and Jones are on the case!

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

Crime dramas come in all shapes and sizes, and Dexter provides a neat counterpoint to the gentle, sleepy crime outings on our terrestrial channels this evening. It never ceases to amaze me how, week in, week out, the scriptwriters manage to sell this show. And now that Dexter himself has become the hunted, rather than the hunter, things have become even tenser. Yet, despite the subject matter and edgy visuals, there remains something utterly lovable at the heart of the show, and that comes from Michael C Hall’s appealing and charismatic performance in the lead. More please!

Back in the deep dark days of the US writers’ strike, a number of America’s top telly scribes found themselves at a loose end. One in particular — Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy, Angel and Firefly — used the downtime to come up with a new project: a web-based musical.

In a news story printed earlier this week, I reported comments from Father Ted creator Graham Linehan about the state of British comedy, and in particular BBC3’s output, which he described as trying too hard “to be risky”.

The man himself has responded to the article in his own blog, and seems somewhat put out that these comments were lifted from the larger interview I did with him, and included in a news story.

Linehan seems to think I was only interested in a bit of “argy bargy”, but I would like to point out that The Stage is going to carry the full interview with Graham in a couple of weeks’ time, to coincide with his appearance at the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival, where he will deliver a masterclass in comedy.

In the full article, Linehan includes some very useful tips for writers looking to create a TV comedy, which we are sure will be very interesting to many of our readers.

Linehan’s comments about the state of TV comedy were reported now because, as a leading figure in the comedy business, we felt his comments would undoubtedly be valued and respected by many of our readers.

The notion of new contracts for Top Gear presenters Richard Hammond and James May is a thorny one for their BBC paymasters, especially in the current climate of transparency. On the one hand, Hammond and May are obviously important elements of what makes Top Gear so very popular - remove one part of the trinity, and would the whole circus tent come crashing down around them? On the other, the BBC is under so much scrutiny in terms of everything it does now, star salaries especially, can Auntie be seen to be held to ransom by any personality on its books?

To be fair to Hammond and May, it seems they simply want fair dealings in line with the new contract negotiated by Jeremy Clarkson, which is rumoured to include a cut of profits from the commercial activities of the Top Gear brand. One thing I do have to ask, however, is: without Top Gear front and centre on their annual CV, would either presenter’s extra-curricular projects be as noteworthy and successful?

Every so often, we like to remind TV Today readers that The Stage also covers television and radio news in our News channel (as well, of course, as in our weekly print edition).

Some of the big stories we’ve covered this week:

• Graham Linehan, creator of Father Ted and The IT Crowd says that TV comedy lacks imagination

• Britain’s Got Talent winner George Sampson is to join West End Musical Into the Hoods

• Playwright Roy Williams, whose play Fallout was recently adapted by Channel 4, is writing his first drama series for television in collaboration with Shameless producer Company Pictures

• The Society of London Theatres claims that the effect of TV talent shows such as I’d Do Anything is “not encouraging” and is unlikely to have a long-term positive effect on the industry

• Senior BBC personnel, including BBC Director of Vision Jana Bennett, received substantial pay increases last year despite the Corporation’s well-publicised belt tightening and trust scandals

• Also in the BBC’s annual report, its drama output rose by more than 25 hours

• Former RSC and well-known TV actress Elizabeth Spriggs has died

• A pre-watershed repeat of ITV drama Rock Rivals broke the Ofcom broadcasting code

• Former Yes, Minister writer Anthony Jay suggests that the BBC should be reduced to one TV channel and one radio station in a report for the Centre for Policy Studies thinktank

• Strictly Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwoord is to direct a new flamenco dance show in the West End

• The Street and Cracker creator Jimmy McGovern is to pen a series of inter-related dramas for BBC daytime

• Emmerdale actor Clive Hornby, who played Jack Sugden, has died…

• …as has veteran character actor Tony Melody

• Screenwriters have spoken out against proposals to allow product placement on British television programmes

Looking across the industry news headlines today (and my, what a miserable day it is out there), I’m overcome by a creeping sense of ennui. It’s happened. We’re in the middle of summer and I’ve reached that apogee of desperation when I’m even starting to look at Big Brother with half an interested eye and reaching for the remote…

I haven’t, thankfully, but the mood I’m in, I’m sorely tempted. That’s why I know things are getting bad. Perhaps its post Doctor Who blues, the fear that on Saturdays at 7pm I have to become a normal, functioning member of society again and maybe go out and… do something…

But it’s not as if there aren’t lovely things currently occupying the schedules that have a lot going for them… The firth series of New Tricks has stormed back to BBC1, with the first episode’s stonkingly good overnight rating of 8.7m proving there is plenty of life in this old favourite yet. And fair play to the Beeb for putting out one of its big hitters in the traditional ratings desert of the summer months. But then, they have to don’t they? Public service broadcasting and all that…

Reviewing any episode of Doctor Who is a tricky task at the best of times. I find it increasingly difficult to detach my fan brain and approach each episode without the baggage of forty-odd years of history and emotional attachment to the series’s overall canon.

And then comes Journey’s End, the pulsing finale to this fourth, more popular than ever, series of Doctor Who.

The fan side of my brain cheered, cried, laughed and stared with open-mouthed amazement. The more detached, professional side of my brain, the side that pretends it doesn’t know Cyril Shaps played the Archimandrite in the 1978 story The Androids of Tara, was staring open mouthed for entirely different reasons. There may even have been some eye-rolling in there too.

Return to… Vets in Practice (Monday 7.30pm, BBC2)

Do you remember the bizarrely popular Vets School *and the subsequent *Vets in Practice? It was a hugely popular fly on the wall series that introduced us to a group of young vets, including Trude Mostue, Steve Leonard and the smitten lovebirds Joe Inglis and Emma Milne. We were suckers in our millions for their adventures in the vet trade, and Trude even forged a fledgling TV career on the back of it. This five-part series revisits them in the here and now. I’m not sure we need it, but ViP was a huge show, so should be of passing interest to some.

New Tricks (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

A very welcome return for one of the Beeb’s most popular dramas. Amanda Redman, Denis Waterman, Alun Armstrong and James Bolan are back as the lovable veteran coppers in a tale that sees Jack (Bolam) face Ricky Hansen, who is standing trial for the old fella’s attempted murder. There are the usual side plots and sweet character moments propping things up in jolly fashion, and I for one am glad to see this hugely enjoyable show back in the schedules.

Roman Mysteries (Tuesday 4.35pm, BBC1)

Thank god the BBC is still investing in quality, well-made children’s drama (just about). Roman Mysteries is a good, solid adventure series, based on the successful novels by Caroline Lawrence about a gang of children erm… investigating mysteries in ancient Rome. Et voila! Roman Mysteries. The first series was really rather jolly and in the first adventure of this second run a group of gladiators arrive in Ostia…

Bonekickers (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

While Hugh Bonneville looks vaguely embarrassed by the whole enterprise, and Adrian Lester bravely rallies like a pro in the face of adversity, Julie Graham goes for the full on scenery chewing in this highly implausible load of old cack. Bonekickers is a po-faced adventure drama about a group of archaeologists, led by Graham’s feisty Gillian, that possesses no sense of irony AT ALL. Ridiculous dialogue and improbable situations are thrown around with gay abandon and it’s impossible to take any of this seriously. And the biggest surprise? Bonekickers is from the pen of Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah, the genius brains behind Life on Mars. Sorry guys, but we really do expect better from you than this half-baked nonsense.

The Culture Show (Tuesday 10pm, BBC2)

David Simon, creator of cult HBO drama The Wire, pops in for a chat about the success of the show.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Six more celebrities throw their chefs hat in the ring for a chance to be crowned Celebrity Masterchef 2008. Tonight, Denise Lewis, Linda Robson and Mark Monaghan, followed by Michael Buerk, Liz McClarnon and Julia Bradbury are all cooking up a storm. I just hope John and Gregg gird their loins to be a bit more unpleasant to the cooks when they serve up something dreadful. Just one disparaging comment would be okay!

Drama Trails (Wednesday 9pm, ITV3)

This week the labyrinthine connections that link The Jewel in the Crown and Band of Gold are examined in this enjoyable yet slight piece of fluff narrated by James (he’ll never be Doctor Who on my watch) Nesbitt.

A Very Peculiar Practice (Wednesday 9pm, Sky Arts)

A welcome chance to see one of Peter Davison’s finest roles, as he plays idealistic young GP Stephen Daker who pitches up to a new job at a university campus medical centre. This is the finest work to come from the pen of Andrew Davies, and it makes you weep for all those bonnets and corsets. Criminally overlooked.

EastEnders (Thursday 7.30pm, BBC1)

A significant episode of ‘Enders that introduces Gavin and Stacey/Triangle legend Larry Lamb as a major new character who is likely to have far-reaching consequences for at least two characters. Great casting too!

Mock the Week (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

The always enjoyable, occasionally laugh out loud funny satirical panel show returns under the watchful eye Dara O’Briain. The usual teams are joined by Lucy Porter and Michael McIntyre.

Lab Rats (Thursday 9.30pm, BBC2)

Lab Rats is a genially traditional sitcom from the pen of Chris Addison and Carl Cooper. It’s about the hapless staff of a research lab at a university and is largely inoffensive, but that’s about it. The comedy isn’t razor sharp, but Addison, a graduate of some great Radio 4 comedy and of course, The Thick of It, has a nice line in startled charm, and it could have been a lot worse. And fair play to somebody having a bash at a traditional studio-bound sit-com outside The IT Crowd.

Still Game (Thursday 10pm, BBC2)

Joy! A rerun of the last series of Square Eyes favourite Still Game. Still Game? Still funny!

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30pm, ITV1)

There’s a definite sense that Corrie is treading water at the moment. It’s probably down to the summer malaise that hits TV, but there’s no sense of momentum or building storylines. The most interesting to do down the cobbles at the moment is Tony’s sabre rattling in the direction of stretching his property empire across the Street, with Kevin Webster likely to be caught in the crossfire. On the whole, a bit meh, but as always with Corrie, brilliance is never far away.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

The biggest shock from this week’s return of the best show on television, like ever, was that Sean Wilson, formerly Coronation Street’s Martin Platt, is a renowned actor. I would imagine that’s down his local. The problem with Celebrity Masterchef is that John and Gregg just aren’t as rude to the celebs as they are to Joe Public, which is one of the delights of the format. Still, it’s as entertaining as ever and tonight is the first quarter final where it’s likely Andi Peters will cry, Claire off of Steps will smile a lot (I like her), Louis Emerick (he was in Brookie you know) will let us know how competitive he is and…. And forgive me, but I’ve lost interest in the fella who was apparently in The Bill. Great entertainment as always.

Criminal Justice (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

This final episode of Peter Moffat’s gripping drama is likely to be as tense as a bowl of pasta put in front of John Torode. We’re approaching the end of the trial as Ben awaits his fate, but will his barrister be able to uncover some new and vital evidence that will change the direction of the trial? A brilliant piece of work, but as Scott pointed out earlier this week, why did it have to come and go like a summer cloud across one week of the schedules?

Doctor Who (Saturday 6.40pm, BBC1)

Oh thank God for that. This clapped out load of sci-fi nonsense finally limps to the end of the series. Frankly I couldn’t care less, I don’t know what people see in this rubbish, it never ceases to amaze me how… Ah, who am I kidding? I’ve been a gibbering wreck all week waiting to find out if we’re about to get a new Doctor, just what has happened to Rose’s teeth and just where on Earth is K9. This is going to be a nail biting 65 minutes, so take the phone off the hook, pour the pinot and crack open the crisps. It’s the TV event of the year.

Last Choir Standing (Saturday 7.45pm, BBC1)

A new spin on the talent show format of recent years as Myleene Klaas and Nick Knowles lead the search for Britain’s best choir. This has the potential to be very good indeed and the talent on display - there’s every kind of choir that you can think of here - is likely to be a cut above what we’ve been used to in the past. The judges are Russell Watson, Suzi Digby and Holby City’s Sharon D Clarke. Read our First Look preview.

The NHS: a Difficult Beginning (Saturday 8.30pm, BBC2)

On the 60th anniversary of the start of the NHS, this documentary is well worth looking at, chronicling the Herculean task of health minister Nye Bevan in revolutionising the way we receive medical treatment in the UK.

George Gently (Sunday 8pm, BBC1)

Martin Shaw provides an oasis of pleasure in the desert-like schedules as he returns as Northumberland detective George Gently following last year’s enjoyable pilot. It’s 1964, and Gently and sidekick DS Bacchus (Lee Ingleby, brilliant as ever) investigate a murder that draws them into a plot involving gunrunning and the IRA. It’s gentle (geddit) in that sleepy Foyle’s War kind of way (Shaw has the look of Michael Kitchen in this), but no less enjoyable for it.

Midsomer Murders (Sunday 8pm, ITV1)

As a relatively new kid on the crime block gets down to business on BBC1, a venerable old prizefighter is still going strong on ITV with the return of Inspector Barnaby for four new investigations in Midsomer Murders. Cully Barnaby is getting hitched, but as ever in the life a village policeman, dad Tom is soon called away when the maid of honour at another wedding is stabbed to death.

Dexter (Sunday 10pm, FX)

The Square Eyes Sunday crime theme continues with the second season of Dexter on FX. Serial-killer good guy Dexter is having difficulty offing bad guys at the beginning of this new series as he’s been tailed by his increasingly suspicious colleague Doakes. It’s brilliantly done, with Michael C Hall carrying off the trick of playing a murdering psychopath who is utterly likeable and charming. Great stuff.

I had to read this news report several times before the words ‘human’ and ‘Tetris’ penetrated my conscious thought, then it took a while for me to work out that the words were meant to go together. The n when you add in the words ‘BBC1’, ‘Saturday night’ and ‘Dale Winton’, we have what adds up to some Hieronymus Bosch hellish vision of a new gameshow.

And yet…

This may be the one piece of television news that Kevin Spacey doesn’t want to hear (save for any further announcements of theatre casting shows), but the BBC is putting its weight, and its reduced budgets, behind drama series and serials rather than single plays.

Speaking at the Royal Television Society, Jane Tranter, Controller of BBC Fiction, sounded somewhat exasperated at the prolonged harking back to a golden age of Play for Today by many people, of whom Spacey was just the latest:

I am beginning to lose the will to live over the continual conversation about how wonderful television drama used to be, with particular reference to Play For Today.

Yes, it was a fantastic strand of work and it gave voice to some wonderful writers, and we can all remember many examples of the stand-out plays from its run? Can’t we?

There’s a lot to digest in her speech — a full transcript of which is online at the BBC press Office website. The Stage’s resident media expert Maggie Brown has analysed the speech in far better detail than I ever could on The Guardian’s media blog.

One point that Tranter made is that drama series tap into TV’s unique ability to provide us with ongoing stories in ways that cinema and theatre cannot.

So why are so many commissions seemingly afraid to take advantage of that?

Do you ever get the feeling that when it is placed under the wider scrutiny of its peers and industry regulators such as Ofcom, that BSkyB (forever to be shorted to good old “Sky”), just stamps its feet like a spoiled child worrying about a bigger boy coming to nick its sweets?

The broadcaster’s recent submission as part of Ofcom’s current review of public service broadcasting (reported by The Guardian) is somewhat teary, particularly in relation to the BBC’s (and a lesser extent Channel 4) activity in purchasing shows from overseas.

“The BBC should step back entirely from other areas. In particular, there is no justification for the BBC using public money to outbid commercial broadcasters for Hollywood films and US series”

This does seem to be a harshly territorial stance from Sky, which clearly has a vested interest in being able to cherry pick the best shows from across the pond. Having first run rights to shows like Lost, Battlestar Galactica and The Simpsons is a hugely important element of Sky’s broadcasting model, one that has served the broadcaster well over the years. But to suggest the BBC should be barred from this market is churlish at best.

Well thank you very much Russell T Davies! How on earth do you review that, eh? Perhaps the most bonkers, delicious, audacious, brilliant, silly, exciting and scary piece of Doctor Who seen in the 45-year history of this crazy, unstoppable TV series. The Stolen Earth had a bombastic confidence about it that was thankfully a million miles away from the beginning of last year’s two-part run around finale with The Master.

From the off, it’s obvious Davies has approached this with the intention of going out with a copper bottom pop. You can imagine him cracking his knuckles as he sat down to work on the script for The Stolen Earth, thinking: “I’m never going to be able to do this again in my life, so let’s just go for it!” And go for it he has.