It was a nice touch to hear Paul Jackson, ITV’s Director of Entertainment and Comedy, open the press launch for series 5 of The X Factor with a tribute to his mentor, the late Bill Cotton, although I suspect that the reference went over the heads of the assembled hordes of celebrity magazine journalists in attendance.
I wouldn’t like to guess how Sir Bill would have felt about The X Factor, a programme which, for the first few weeks of programmes, delights in finding as much entertainment value in humiliating members of the public as in uncovering new singing talent from the unlikeliest of people. Still, there’s no denying its unrelenting popularity, and this year it’s back and bigger than ever.
The on-screen captions tell us that 180,000 applied this year — although Jackson told us that ‘just under 100,000’ auditionees were seen at the initial production level, implying that nearly half of all applicants don’t even make it to that first, unseen, stage. To emphasise how much bigger it is, we’re shown sweeping crane shots of football stadia and concert arenas packed to the gunnels with wannabes.
And the bombast just keeps on coming.
Judges fly about the country in helicopters, while the backing track blasts out pseudo-classical choral music with such force that one must wonder whether the choir outnumbers the waiting hopefuls.
Beyond all that, there is no real change to the formula — except, of course, that temperamental judge Sharon Osbourne has quit, and is replaced by Girls Aloud popstrel Cheryl Cole, herself an alumna of the TV cattle call via Popstars: The Rivals. In the pre-credits sequence, it’s implied that we’re due for more judges’ fireworks, as she’s seen walking off set saying, “I can’t do this.” As we see later, this is more down to skilful editing: but more of that anon.
As is compulsory, it seems, the first act seen by the judges is unremittingly awful. Pop duo Dreamtime have sold 180 copies of their self-pressed CD, but their audition is flat, and finishes with a sustained note that seems to get worse the more singer Nathan holds on to it. And from here on in we’re on safe ground: a stream of awful acts who are presented as being deluded individuals, who have been encouraged to pursue a musical career that they do not have the talents to truly pursue. Only, one has to wonder that given the auditions we see are callbacks, and all the acts put in front of the judges have been selected for TV — how much of that selfsame misguided encouragement is The X Factor process contributing to?
There are, of course, some good performances to counterbalance the bad. And of course, there are the sob stories. 26 year old Rachel, a single mum of five with a history of drugs and prison and whose three eldest children are in care, turns out to have an incredibly soulful powerhouse of a voice. And 16-year-old Alexandra is not only both beautiful and in possession of a fine set of lungs, but she comes from Bridgend, which has had more than its fair share of negative press publicity in recent months. What’s most frustrating about the whole structure is that all the emotional manipulation is so brazenly obvious, and yet it works so well that it’s impossible not to be swept along by it.
The final addition to the episode from the Book of Talent Show Clichés is the Return of a Former Reality Show Contestant to Bravely Try Again. We’ve had Darius Danesh in Popstars and then Pop Idol, while 2004 saw One True Voice’s Matt Johnson audition for The X Factor. This time round, we get Matt’s fellow Popstars: The Rivals contestant Nikk Mager, who made it through to the live rounds of the show but did not get selected to jon One True Voice.
We’re shown Nikk performing in a poky Working Men’s Club, and this sceptic wonders whether the location was selected to make his fall from grace all the more dramatic. My suspicions aren’t exactly allayed when Simon asks Nikk what he’s been up to in the six years since his Popstars experience. What you won’t hear him say is, “Well, Simon, I and my fellow losing contestants formed boyband Phixx, which ended up being more successful than the group actually selected by public vote, and we went on to have four Top 20 singles.” Because that would, I suppose, point out that shows such as this are far from infallible.
Anyway, Cheryl (who, of course, went through the whole Popstars ordeal with Nikk) wisely recuses herself from the judging process — and it’s that decision that we realise was the clip shown in the pre-credits roll. Far from finding the judging process too much to bear, she’s actually making a responsible decision about what is and isn’t appropriate.
Indeed, while it’s early days, it seems as if Cheryl is going to be a valuable addition to the judging panel. Sharon who?
Chuck Cheryl! Chuck Cheryl! Chuck Cheryl! If you don’t get rid of the idiot child judge and bring on a professional from the music industry then the show will lose a lot of ratings. The ‘deer in the headlights’ brainless wonder adds nothing to the show other then a cheap piece of eye candy. I thought this show was better then that. I am so disappointed. Even if you don’t bring Sharon back, at least replace the current plastic barbie with someone who has serious music industry experience. Come on people.
JLS are so bloody sexy Iam their biggest fan i vote for them a million times every saturday i love them so much :L. JLS to win. They are well the best and i am not only saying that cause i love them they are truly the best group ever on the x factor. And Cheryl is the best judge out of her and danni by far danni is fake cheryl is beautiful and really really nice.
Nicole 20 UK xxx