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Turn off the TV: What’s on radio, February 7-13

The Saturday Play: On the Ceiling Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
A story about the painting of the Sistine Chapel that doesn’t feature Michelangelo? That’s the whole point of Nigel Planer’s 2005 play, his first as a writer, which started at the Birmingham Rep before transferring to the Garrick. Phil Daniels and Bryan Dick take the roles of workmen Lapo and Loti, plasterers who doo al the hard graft for a master who rarely turns up for work. Gary Waldhorn and Roger Lloyd Pack also star.

The Wire: Sold on eBay Radio 3, Saturday 10pm
Inspired by the real-life tale of the man who auctioned his clothes, menial job and emotional baggage online, Australian playwright Van Badham creates an edgy comedy starring Claire Rushbrook and Bruce Mackinnon. Richard drunkenly puts his life up for sale on eBay, and then receives an offer he can’t refuse. Cut off from his old life, he discovers the extent to which people’s possessions define who they are.

Desert Island Discs Radio 4, Sunday 11.15am (repeated Friday 9am) NB: Not on iPlayer
The castaway this week is LAMDA graduate and RSC actor David Suchet. Included in his song choices are the theme to Agatha Christie’s Poirot, the ITV drama series in which he has starred for twenty years, and You’ll Never Walk Alone from Carousel.

Elaine Paige on Sunday Radio 2, Sunday 1pm
In a special Bafta-themed show, EP looks at the films up for music gongs at this weekend’s Orange Bafta Film Awards, including Mamma Mia! and Wall-E.

Woman’s Hour Drama: Reading Between the Lines Radio 4, Monday-Friday 10.45am (rpt 7.45pm)
When mystery writer RP Beckford dies, the police receive an anonymous note saying that his last novel contains clues to the death of Beckford’s ex-wife three years earlier. As DI Kate Duncan attempts to investigate further, she finds that no-one has actually met the mysterious RP Beckford — indeed, there seems to be doubt that he is even dead… Written by Mark Lawson (who also appears as himself) Lia Williams plays Kate Duncan, with support from Nickolas Grace and Hugh Ross.

The Yellowplush Papers Radio 4, Monday 11.30am
WM Thackeray’s comic novel, adapted in five parts by Stephen Wyatt, stars Adam Buxton as Charles James Harrington Fitzroy Yellowplush, a canny Regency footman.

Afternoon Play: The Need for Nonsense Radio 4, Monday 2.15pm
Andrew Sachs plays poet and painter Edward Lear in a play by Julia Blackburn based on Lear’s diaires and letters. Lear’s strong attachment to his servant and lifelong companion, Giorgio (Alexi Kaye-Campbell) is put to the test, as Giorgio has a secret — he has a wife and three sons back on his home island of Corfu.

Afternoon Play: Rumpole Returns Radio 4, Thursday & Friday 2.15pm
Welcome repeats, broadcast in tribute to the late John Mortimer, of two plays starring Timothy West and Prunella Scales as the redoubtle barrister and his wife, Hilda. Thursday’s episode, Rumpole and the Teenage Werewolf, features one Matt “shortly to be the new Doctor Who” Smith as a teenager accused of sending emails deemed to be sexually harassing, and of an actual physical attack on a girl.

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