Square Eyes, March 9-12

Tellytales CBeebies, Monday-Friday 4.30pm
A new series presenting classic myths and fairytales from around the world. This being on the BBC’s channel for pre-school viewers, one suspects we’ll be seeing the cleaned-up versions of many of the tales available. Thus, no version of Little Red Riding Hood where Red is tricked into eating her own grandmother, for instance, as happened in some versions of the story before Charles Perrault…

Horne & Corden BBC3, Tuesday 10.30pm
Sketch shows are, we’ve often said, hit or miss affairs — and, judging by the material on show here, this one has rather too many of the latter. If laughing at people who are fat, gay or both is your thing, then you’ll probably find this much funnier than most people will.

The Bill ITV1, Wednesday 8pm
Tonight’s story features a crooked conjurer who uses his skills at sleight-of-hand to trick people out of their valuable possessions, which naturally brings him to the attentions of Sun Hill’s finest. Tim Treloar plays the magician with the light-fingered legerdemain in a Bill story that is lighter than usual, and all the more fun for that.

The Car Show BBC4, Wednesday 8pm
As part of BBC4’s continuing strang of programmes about motoring, Murray Walker narrates this look at how television has presented all things car-related over the years. Programmes about television are always well worth a watch when they pop up on BBC4, and even though this one mainly sticks to talking about Top Gear in its various formats over the years, it’s no exception.

Red Riding Channel 4, Thursday 9pm
This week’s instalment of Channel 4’s superb crime drama moves the action on to 1980, with the West Yorkshire police struggling to capture the Yorkshire Ripper, who has just claimed his thirteenth victim. A Lancashire detective (Paddy Considine) is brought in to review an inquiry into the investigation, which throws up all manner of hostilities. A superb cast makes this for a powerful and compelling two hours of fine drama.

Comic Relief Does The Apprentice BBC1, Thursday 9pm
Acting as a curtain-raiser for both Friday’s Red Nose Day telethon and the imminent new series of The Apprentice proper, we again see two teams of celebrities attempt a challenge under the steely gaze of Sir Alan and his cohorts, the redoubtable Nick and Margaret.

I’ve Never Seen Star Wars BBC4, Thursday 10.30pm
A rapid transition from Radio 4 for Marcus Brigstocke’s interview show where he encourages celebrities to try things they’ve never done before. The radio show produced some marvellous culture clashes and some genuinely funny moments — let’s hope the TV version can do the same.