June 2009 Archives

We know that Torchwood is not only a success on television. As we highlighted in our weekly radio preview, the brand is also spreading onto radio — but since the series’ inception, BBC Books has been publishing a series of original novels featuring the staff of Cardiff’s least secret top-secret organisation.

Three new novels have just been published to coincide with the broadcast of Children of Earth — and we have two sets to give away to lucky TV Today readers!

Previously on Torchwood Week: Russell T Davies, creator of Torchwood and head writer of the new series Children of Earth, talked about the way the storytelling changes as a result of the new five-episode, single-story format and the demands of hiring so many children.

As before, do beware: more so than yesterday’s interview, this interview does contain spoilers about the events in Children of Earth.

The relationship between Jack and Ianto is really brought to the fore in this story. Was that a conscious effort to get a gay relationship into primetime BBC1?

I didn’t think of it in those terms, really. Personally, it’s just because I’m interested in that story. I’m fascinated by how Ianto used to have a fiancee, so I just had stuff to say about it. So, it’s not me going, “I must put this on BBC1.” I wouldn’t blink about putting it on on BBC1, but nobody was stopping me put it on BBC1, either.

I think it’s much more about relationships. It’s more intimate, which then becomes more resonant, really. So it’s always important to me to write that, but so important I don’t ever think about it. I’m not sitting there thinking, I must do this.

However, I like to see someone coming out to his sister when he’s not even sure what he is, and even he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, or anything. I like that scene. I’ll always write that sort of thing.

There are elements of Bob and Rose in there, too.

Yes, same issues, I suppose. Both of them defy labels, which is always true.

The Torchwood SUV gets written out in episode 1, although we’ll refrain from talking about how that happens. Was that part of a decision to ground the Torchwood team in a reality where they can interact with the public in a more realistic way?

I’ve never had a problem with those interactions. It’s funnier, in a way. I love Doctor Rupesh finding Torchwood because, as he says, if anyone asks about Torchwood they just point towards the bay! I like that.

In honour of this being Torchwood Week here at TV Today, to get the ball rolling I thought I’d take a quick look at the nicely executed Torchwood website - the beginning of the Children of Earth experience for viewers ahead of next Monday’s launch.

What I like about the Torchwood website is its lack of fuss - it’s very much a what you see is what you get affair that has the latest BBC1 trailer front and centre for your viewing pleasure (a second trailer having gone live today). There are no fancy flash animations here, just a clearly designed site that doesn’t overload the senses

From here, you can then click through to separate sections covering Characters, Behind the Scenes, Gallery and a section on the previous series for new fans to catch up with the adventures of Capt Jack and co.

The Supersizers Eat… The Fifties BBC2, Monday 9pm
Giles Coren and Sue Perkins’ travels through the culinary and cultural tastes of yesteryear reach a time in which Britain was just emerging from post-war austerity. As new ingredients such as olive oil and tinned salmon emerge, a nation still affected by rationing was also dining on horsemeat. But it’s rarely about the food, more the banter between Coren and Perkins that makes this programme such a delight.

Ugly Betty E4, Tuesday 9pm, repeated Channel 4, Wednesday 10pm
One thing that’s noticeable about this new series of Ugly Betty is how the programme’s relocation to a New York production base has helped the show feel more rooted in Manhattan than in previous seasons, even if that takes a little of the shine off the cartoon quality that makes it look so distinct from any other programme. Anyway, the visual highlight this week is a glorious dream sequence as we see Betty turned into a Wilhemina clone. Scary and funny at the same time — and a good reminder of the skills of America Ferrara.

A Beautiful Tragedy Sky Arts 2, Tueday 9.45pm
The rigours of performing arts training — far more arduous and emotional than anybody would guess if Britannia High were your only source of reference — are highlighted here with this documentary about Russia’s child ballet stars.

The Bill: Conviction ITV1, Wednesday & Thursday 8pm
Running over three weeks, The Bill comes up with another mammoth six-episode storyline. Two seemingly unrelated crimes — a burglary that looks suspiciously staged and a fight outside a trendy wine bar — turn out to be connected to each other. As the team investigates further, the bar goes up in flames…

James May at the Edge of Space BBC2, Wednesday 10pm
Shown on BBC4 last week, Top Gear’s Captain Slow tries to get as close to space as possible, as he trains to fly in a U2 spy plane at an altitude of 70,000 feet. An engaging watch from start to finish, the shots from the plane are just breathtaking.

Can I Get High Legally? BBC3, Thursday 9pm
I sometimes think BBC3 doesn’t get enough credit for its occasional documentaries — but, when its ‘factual’ output ends up dominated by Snog, Marry, Avoid, maybe it only has itself to blame. Anyway, this week BBC 6Music’s most hated DJ and Big Brother’s Little Brother presenter George Lamb investigates the herbal and over-the-counter pharmaceuticals that claim legal highs equivalent to those offered by illegal drugs. As Lamb discovers, a substance being legal doesn’t make it safe — an important message that’s told well here.

As we announced on Friday, this week is Torchwood Week here on TV Today. In the run up to next week’s transmission of the five-part Children of Earth on BBC1, we’ll have a variety of features and interviews throughout the week.

We’ll start with the first of a two-part interview with series creator Russell T Davies, who returns to writing duties on the show for the first time since 2006’s premiere episode, Everything Changes.

Conducted after the press preview of the first episode of Children of Earth, be warned: the interview does contain some spoilers for the upcoming story, although we’ve tried to keep those to a minimum.

This series takes a very different structure, with its single story over five episodes playing over a single week. Why did you go for this format?

We just fancied it, to be honest, it was as simple as that. I loved it on Criminal Justice, and Five Days. And Anne Frank, actually, I thought that was brilliant — although that came after [the decision for Torchwood].

And you’d never have the money for thirteen episodes on BBC1 for something like this. And we’ve done all sorts of two-parters and one-offs on Doctor Who, Sarah Jane and Torchwood, but we’ve never done a long thriller.

And I’ve never done a multi-part story with more than one writer [John Fay writes episodes 2 and 4, while James Moran co-writes episode 3 with Davies] — I’ve written six parters myself, of course. So that was brand new, and I thought that’d keep me awake of a day.

What’s the appeal of that to you as a writer?

Oh, it’s marvellous. That’s what’s really exciting, because it’s brand new. You can be a lot cheekier with it, and simply have to assume that people are watching. For example, in the first episode we just have Kai [Owen, who plays Rhys] in one scene. If we just went out weekly on a Monday night, we’d give him a lot of big scenes in episode 1 to establish him.

I don’t know, you wait months for episodes of quality sci fi to come out of BBC Cardiff, then eight come along all at once. Doctor Who’s adult spin-off Torchwood returns next week, kicking off (as previously noted in our radio previews) with three audio dramas in Radio 4’s Afternoon Play slot. They will be followed by the TV series proper, finally making the transition to BBC1 with the five-part story Children of Earth, which will air nightly from Monday July 6.

In the run up to Children of Earth, we’re declaring next week to be Torchwood Week here on TV Today. We’ll have interviews with the cast as well as series creator Russell T Davies, who returns to writing duties on Torchwood for the first time since the first episode of Series 1.

To whet your appetite, over the jump we’ve got the latest BBC1 trailer.

Glastonbury (from Friday, 7pm, various BBC channels)

The BBC’s usually excellent coverage of Glastonbury kicks off this evening, and no doubt Neil Young’s turn on stage this evening will be a crowd-puller at 11pm on BBC2. Coverage continues throughout the weekend.

Hotel Babylon (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

Oh Hotel Babylon, you try so hard, but never quite come up to five-star standard. In tonight’s sickly serving, new boss Sam (a shockingly terrible Nigel Harman, but that’s no surprise) gets to grips with his new hotel purchase. And as ever, things are never quiet at HB - there’s a celebrity couple’s tantrum-tastic birthday celebrations and a visit from a health inspector to deal with in tonight’s episode. The problem with this series now is that the cast look to be having much more fun than I am, and that’s always a bad thing in my book.

Law and Order: Criminal Intent (Friday 10pm. Five)

Liza Minnelli guest-stars in this US drama mainstay. And surely, that’s all the information you need…

Robin Hood (Saturday 6.45pm, BBC1)

Hold on to your bow and arrows, this one could get messy. Robin, Guy and the gang (sans the deceased Alan) are holed up in Nottingham Castle. Outside, a back-from-the-dead Sheriff of Nottingham is waiting with a tooled up army, ready to storm the castle. We know Robin is off - who else won’t make it to the end of this episode is anyone’s guess. This is likely to be an action-packed, emotional end to what has proved to be an excellent third series - but will there be a season four?

Top Gear (Sunday 8pm, BBC2)

Stephen Fry, ahead of his turn in Kingdom at 9pm, is this week’s star in a reasonably priced car. His Twitter feed earlier this week indicates it might one of the most entertaining yet.

On Thin Ice (Sunday 9pm, BBC2)

First of a five-part documentary that charts the exploits of Ben Fogle and James Cracknell as they embark on a gruelling race to the South Pole. This first episode focuses on the training regime the pair must endure before setting out, and their search for a third member of the team - and actor Jonny Lee Miller steps up to the sled. Will he stay the course? It’s great stuff, a bit like Long Way Round, but without Charlie Boorman. So another good reason to watch then.

Kingdom (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Assuming he survives his session in a reasonably priced car over on BBC2, Stephen Fry as avuncular Norfolk solicitor Peter Kingdom looks into a blackmail case that has a curmudgeonly local judge at its centre (played with relish by Jack Dee). Kingdom is nothing groundbreaking in drama terms, but it’s made with a solid heart and is a good way to sooth away that Sunday back-to-school feeling for an hour.

A Funny Sort of Sound Radio 4, Saturday 10.30am
An affectionate look at the musical comedy sub-genre of light entertainment acts. Julian Clary is an amiable host as he explores the world of entertainers who use instruments conventional or otherwise (playing the saw, anyone?) to amuse. With contributions from Ken Dodd and Jim Tavare.

The Saturday Play: Journey Into Space: The Host Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
Radio 7 often brushes off the original tales of Jet Morgan and his stalwart crew, but this is an all-new production with Toby Stephens taking on the role of Morgan. And in a hat tip to the original series, the original Jet Morgan, David Jacobs, gets a role too — although it is as the deadly Host, whose plan threatens all mankind.

Elaine Paige on Sunday Radio 2, Sunday 1pm
This week’s guests are Daniel Boys and Julie Atherton, the leads in Avenue Q which has settled in nicely at its new home of the Gielgud Theatre. They will be performing a couple of numbers from the show, although I suspect the daytime slot will prevent some of the musical’s ruder numbers from being included.

Drama on 3: Fall Radio 3, Sunday 8pm
When it was staged at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last year, Fall received two accolades from The Stage. The production as a whole was awarded Must See status, while lead actress Geraldine Alexander was nominated in the Best Actress category of the Stage Awards for Acting Excellence. Alexander reprises her role in Zinnie Harris’ play, which Stage reviewer Thom Dibdin described as exploring “the convulsions shaking a country which is trying to drag itself out of post-civil war decline and decide what to do with those who perpetrated the horrors it has had to live through.”. Expect strong language and graphic descriptions of brutality — all the more terrible when the imagery is in our own heads.

Woman’s Hour Drama: Sacred Hearts Radio 4, Monday-Friday 10.45am & 7.45pm
Sarah Dunant’s new novel, dramatised in ten parts over this week and next, chronicles the life of Serafina (Natalie Dormer), locked in a convent in 16th century Italy by her family against her will. Dame Eileen Atkins also stars as the Abbess, while Geraldine James plays Zuana, the convent’s healer.

Stonewall: The Riots That Triggered the Gay Revolution Radio 2, Tuesday 10.30pm
A new documentary marking the 40th anniversary of New York’s Stonewall Riots, which started the gay liberation movement. Raids on private members’ clubs were frequent, but when police stormed the Stonewall Inn just hours after gay icon Judy Garland’s funeral, the gay community started to fight back. Tom Robinson presents, with contributors including the policeman who led the raid, a journalist who was in the bar at the time, and British gay rights activist Peter Tatchell.

Afternoon Play: Torchwood Radio 4, Wednesday-Friday 2.15pm
Ahead of Torchwood’s new series on BBC1, which will run Monday to Friday from July 6, Radio 4 follows up its September 2008 story Lost Souls with a trilogy of plays featuring Cardiff’s least secret top-secret alien hunters. TV regulars John Barrowman, Eve Myles and Gareth David-Lloyd reprise their roles as Jack, Gwen and Ianto in each story, with Tom Price (PC Andy) and Kai Owen (Rhys) also making appearances.

Wednesday’s production, Asylum by Anita Sullivan, features a mysterious teenage runaway who’s found carrying a mysterious weapon; on Thursday, James Goss’s Golden Age sees the team travelling to Delhi and discovering that Torchwood India, presumed shut down 80 years previously, is still gonig strong — and its members haven’t aged a day; while on Friday, The Dead Line by Phil Ford sees Cardiff residents falling into comas seemingly induced by phone calls from a number that hasn’t been active for over 30 years.

Update: As well as being made available via the standard iPlayer, all three Torchwood plays will be available as MP3 downloads to UK listeners.

Not to get all TV Burp on you, but it helps if you sing the title of this particular posting. In your head.

As you meander your way through a long hot day in the office, and the unveiling of BBC executives’ expenses threatens to go bang with a copper bottomed pop, sometimes only a visit to YouTube will lift your spirits.

And here, for your pleasure, is today’s pick from the random YouTube title sequence generator - Animal Kwackers, a 1970s YTV children’s show about an extra terrestrial beat combo populated by erm… zoo animals. I think…

Actually, there isn’t a random YouTube title sequence generator, but there should be!

Now Mr Thompson, about these expenses…

And so the results of the BBC Trust ordered report into acceptable standards on the telly are in, the latest chapter in the story that just keeps on giving, the Sachsgate affair. It sounds like the latest instalment in a movie franchise. What next? The Sachs Ultimatum? The Sachs Code?

The report, helmed by BBC creative director Alan Yentob and director of archive content Roly Keating, is being hailed as one of the most exhaustive exercises in audience research ever conducted by the Corporation - just so we all know that Auntie is taking this all jolly seriously.

A whopping 2206 people were polled on the subject of taste and decency on television. Is that all? Does asking 2206 people what they think of the F word being used on telly, and whether it’s right to phone old men up and be rude to their answer phone really constitute “exhaustive”? To be fair, I’d probably be pretty tired after talking to that many people, but considering the total audience that the BBC commands, it doesn’t seem all that many. You’d probably get more people through the door of Broadcasting House on any given day to say what they think if there’s the promise of a nice cappuccino and a garibaldi at the end of it.

This morning at 11.30am, Radio 4 broadcast a documentary that served as an ode to a great chunk of my formative years, and one of the reasons I do the job I do.

Hosted by Doctor Who TV series writer and actor Mark Gatiss, On the Outside it Looked Like an Old-Fashioned Police Box paid tribute to the Target Books Doctor Who imprint of the 1970s. These beautiful little tomes, published from 1973, were novelised adaptations of the TV stories. In the age before repeats, home video, DVD, the iPlayer and the content hungry beast of digital television, Target Books allowed the young fans of Doctor Who to relive their hero’s adventures over and over again. Even better, the books told us adventures of when Doctor Who looked different and didn’t travel with Sarah Jane Smith.

Ask any Doctor Who fan growing up in the 1970s and early 1980s, and they will go into doe-eyed nostalgic raptures over what the Target Books meant, and still mean to them. For me, a Doctor Who book was the treat I was allowed to choose on the Saturdays when my big brother was taken to see Liverpool play football. I’d go into town with my mum, pick a book from the shelves in Fred Wade’s bookshop, then get the bus to my grandma’s. And then the adventure would begin.

Wimbledon (from Monday, BBC2/BBC1/BBCHD)

It’s summat about tennis, but it can all get jolly exciting.

The Supersizers Eat… Medieval (Monday 9pm, BBC2)

Giles and Sue go ever further off the beaten track in their culinary Tardis, this week going all the way back to 1066 and environs, hopefully with many a hey nonnny nonny. Aside from the food aspect, The Supersizers is becoming very much a popular history documentary series, and I enjoy the cultural context as much as watching Giles and Sue gnawing on a pig’s trotter. And let’s face it, Sue Perkins dressed up as a medieval damsel in worth the ticket price alone.

The Wire (Monday 11.20pm, BBC2)

Season three begins its terrestrial run. A few thousand Guardian readers cheer.

Personal Affairs (Tuesday 9pm, BBC3/BBC HD)

Oddly we missed this new BBC3 comedy drama off the Square Eyes list last week, but we’re getting with the programme for episode 2. It’s all a bit odd, with a sometimes outrageous line in comedy in-between this glamourous group of PAs attempting to solve the disappearance of one of their number. The cast are pretty (and on the whole very good), but there’s a sense that this wants to be Green Wing when it grows up, but just isn’t in the same league. Worth a look, though.

Flight of the Conchords (Tuesday 10.30pm, BBC4)

The boys find themselves filling in at the last minute for Simon and Garfunkel tribute band Troubled Waters. Inspired, beautiful comedy.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Another Wednesday, another three days of Masterchef goodness ahead. This week it’s second chances for previous contestants who fell before the last hurdle. Paying a return visit this week are the likes of Wendi Peters, Linda Barker and comic Jeff Green.

Famous, Rich and Homeless (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

This reminds me off a documentary strand that the legendary Nationwide put out years ago under the title Down and Out (if memory serves). Here, five celebrities live for ten days on the streets of London, to all intents and purposes, penniless and homeless. It’s quite powerful in places seeing the likes of Hardeep Singh Kohli begging on the streets, and the to camera reactions from the participants show how humbled they are by the experience. It’s still filtered through the sheen of television, and everyone can go back to their lives of plenty at the end of ten days, but it’s still an emotive piece of viewing at times.

Psychoville (Thursday 10pm, BBC2/BBC HD)

It might have links to The League of Gentlemen, but Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton, two of that august number, have managed to craft something in Psychoville that feels distinctive in its own right, despite some of the trappings of the former. While the original League had a rotten core at the centre of the dark comedy, there’s a surprisingly tragic heart here, exemplified by Joy, Dawn French’s doll obsessed midwife. It’s hard not to feel sorry for this woman, but at the same time. She’s absolutely terrifying, charged with the potential energy to go off and do something abhorrent. Chilling, brilliant and funny.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

Molly and Kevin? Really? Please say this isn’t happening, and they’re only working up a sweat after their training run.

EastEnders (Friday 8pm, BBC1)

Tonight sees the first glimmerings of what could prove to be one of EastEnders’ most powerful storylines - and most controversial. Ever since his arrival, Syed Masood has been set up as a bit of a womaniser, with the pretty girlfriend and comedy overbearing mother. But all this time Syed has been dealing with bigger issues - a growing attraction to Christian Clarke which goes against all his beliefs as a committed Muslim. We don’t quite know where this storyline is going to go, but expect lots of press coverage, outrage and support in equal measure for a soap that still has the ability to tackle the big issues.

Hotel Babylon (Friday 9pm, BBC1)

Oh saints be praised, Hotel Babylon returns for a new run to brighten up Friday evenings. Hotel Babylon has never been big, and it has definitely never been clever, but it’s always bags of fun. And for the new series, Nigel Harman joins the cast as Sam Franklin, the suave new owner of HB, clearly cast in an attempt to sex up the show in the void left by Max Beesley. And he’s a good choice - not the greatest actor in the world (remember this?), but who is in this sticky confection of a show that Gregg Wallace would probably want to give a big snog if it was a plate of food.

Robin Hood (Saturday 6.45pm, BBC1)

This is it - the two-part finale of Robin Hood that will set up the end of Jonas Armstrong’s Robin, and perhaps pave the way for season four (should it be commissioned). Tonight’s opening salvo is a cracking mix of big action and character confrontation, as the gang attempt to hold Nottingham Castle against a huge army until King Richard returns. In the midst of this, Archer - Robin and Guy’s half brother - tries to cut a deal with Isabella, but as she’s a few arrows short of a quiver these days, who knows what she’ll do.

The Royal (Sunday 7pm, ITV1)

With the future of this Heartbeat spin-off in doubt, fans should probably enjoy this batch of three episodes while they’re here. There may be more in the ITV stockpile, but after that, who knows?

Top Gear (Sunday 9pm, BBC2)

Top Gear is a curious show, managing to span gender and age boundaries to provide a show that is always thoroughly entertaining. Still with a questionable ethic on the environment in places (come on Jeremy, wake up to what’s going on in the world), the same mix of challenges, review and celebrity guests remains a reliable ratings puller. But it’s undeniably the banter between the three regulars that Top Gear rests on, and long may it continue.

James May on the Moon (Sunday 9pm, BBC2)

A fantastic documentary (and another dose of James May) to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the first lunar landing. May can sometimes be a boorish companion, a natural side effect of being a Top Gear presenter, and that same sense pervades here at times. But it’s also an informative look into the process a man goes through in training to be an astronaut, and May gets to meet three genuine space heroes. And there’s a trip 70, 000ft up in a U-2 spy rocket - now that’s breathtaking. A more detailed documentary on May’s training regime follows on BBC4 in James May at the Edge of Space.

For a more detailed look at the moon landings, check out this fantastic collection of programmes from the BBC Archive, launched this morning. Brilliant stuff!

To end the day, here’s a quick peek at a new trailer for the forthcoming Torchwood: Children of Earth, due on BBC1 in early July, from the series’s broadcaster in Australia, UKTV…

I think we can now safely assume that this is going to be great. And bearing in mind the cancellation of Primeval, quality science-fiction drama on our screens needs to be supported.

> Please note this is an unofficial copy of the trailer, and will be replaced with an official BBC sanctioned version as soon as one is available.

Shame on ITV for cancelling its most distinctive, mass-appeal drama of the last few decades. Yes, in a very narrow-minded decision, the commercial broadcaster has announced that sci-fi adventure drama Primeval (aka Dinosaur Chasey-Chase) will not be returning for a fourth series, that despite a cliffhanger ending that saw Danny Quinn (Jason Flemyng) stranded in the distant past (and Connor and Abby stranded up a tree).

An ITV spokesperson said of ITV’s current plans for drama on the channel:

“High quality drama remains a key part of the ITV schedule, although our current focus is on post-watershed production,”

So in one fell swoop, that statement tells teenagers and children to stay away from ITV1, because they have absolutely no intention of catering for you. Primeval was the only family friendly output from the broadcaster that, like Doctor Who, catered for a wide audience. Blimey, even my mum made a point of watching it. That’s what I call wide-ranging.

Devoted Radio 4 listeners could not have missed that last night saw the return to this august radio station of a British institution. But sadly, I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue is now tragically missing the institution within the institution - the late, great Humphrey Lyttelton, aka Chairman Humph.

There has been much discussion following the sad death of Lyttelton last year as to whether Clue could - or should - continue without the master of the unwitting innuendo in the chair. But continue they have, and one can’t help feel that the man himself would have approved. I’d like to think he’d be horrified to discover his friends stopped having fun because of him.

And so in last night’s opener of the new series, regulars Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Barry Cryer were joined on stage by Clue virgin Victoria Wood for another half hour of silly games and witty, yet still delightfully school yard banter.

Of course, all ears were going to be on the Chairman, and stepping gamely up for the first of two stints (Rob Brydon and Jack Dee will be on chair duties later in the series) was Stephen Fry. A good, solid, line and length choice for the first time out.

The Supersizers Eat… the Eighties (Monday 9pm, BBC2)

Giles Coren and Sue Perkins return for a new series of gastronomic adventures through the ages. This week it’s the recent history of the 1980s, that might seem like yesterday, but it was a decade singularly lacking in style and taste, as you can see from some of the food on offer. Pot Noodles and ready meals don’t impress the duo, but then, neither do the posh power lunches. A thoroughly likable show, the Supersizers are very welcome in the TV schedules.

Occupation (Tuesday 9pm, BBC1)

A powerful and gripping three-part drama from the pen of Peter Bowker (Blackpool). There are no comedy songs and dance routines here - this is a sometimes brutal examination of the lives of three soldiers serving in Iraq during the invasion, focusing on their experiences during and after their tour of duty. James Nesbitt, once again proving there’s more to this complex actor than the Irish scamp of Cold Feet, is stunning as Sergeant Mike Swift. But that shouldn’t take anything away from Stephen Graham and Warren Brown as Corporal Danny Petersen and Lance Corporal Lee Hibbs. They turn in equally compelling performances to match the bigger star. Occupation is highly recommended viewing, but gird your loins, it’s not an easy watch. Parts two and three can be seen on Wednesday and Thursday.

Flight of the Conchords (Tuesday 10.30pm, BBC4)

After the draining experience of Occupation, go and make yourself a cup of tea and then settle down for a soothing half hour in the company of Jermaine and Bret in their pursuit of musical supremacy. Only in Flight of the Conchords could there be a benefit concert for canine epilepsy. Sublime.

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Another week, another heat of Celebrity Masterchef. And breathe.

Martina Cole’s The Take (Wednesday 9pm, Sky One)

Tom Hardy heads the cast in this slick adaptation of best selling novelist Cole’s saga of East End villains in the mid 1980s. Hardy is terrifying as Freddie, making his reappearance into the London crime scene after a spell inside. He has the backing of crime boss Ozzy (Brian Cox, effortless as ever), and this adds to his swagger and the overall sense of menace that pervades the entire tone of the production. It all feels a bit earnest and eager to shock, but there’s no denying it’s an accomplished slice of crime drama with a great cast.

Psychoville (Thursday 10pm, BBC2)

As you might expect from two members of The League of Gentlemen, Psychoville is a grotesque confection of outrageous characters and dark, dark comedy. Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith write and star in this seven-part comedy that loosely links characters together with the MacGuffin of a letter being sent to apparently unconnected characters, scrawled with the words “I know what you did.” Whatever the characters did, it’s unlikely we’ll find out anytime soon, so just settle back and enjoy a wide range of characters, from the jaded Mr Jelly, a fallen children’s entertainer, a former porn-star dwarf, and Dawn French guest-starring as a midwife with an unhealthy attachment to her demonstration doll. Comparisons to The League of Gentlemen are unavoidable, but Psychoville has enough that is distinctive to make it worth a look.

Celebrity Masterchef (Friday 8.30pm, BBC1)

First quarter final of this series. Jayne Middlemiss for the win!

Outnumbered (Friday 9.30pm, BBC1)

A complaint often levelled at television is that there are far too many repeats slotted into the schedules, which can be a highly valid gripe. But when the repeat in question is another go for Outnumbered series two (which gained decent ratings on its previous Saturday showing), we’ll let it go. Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin’s heavily improvised comedy is a constant delight as Hugh Dennis and Claire Skinner play the average couple with three kids - and it’s the kids that steal the show every time. In this first episode, Pete and Sue shepherd their brood to a family wedding - with predictably chaotic results. Highly recommended.

Robin Hood (Saturday 6.45pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

Robin and Gisborne, teaming up to go off and find their shared half-brother at the bidding of Robin’s dad? Is nothing sacred? There’s a sense of stalls being set out for the series finale coming up in a couple of weeks. With it common knowledge that Jonas Armstrong is leaving Sherwood behind, could the half-brother in question, known as Archer, be set up as a replacement? It’s all very exciting, and this episode co-stars the divine Tracy-Ann Oberman as the sultry wife of the Sheriff of York.

ER (Saturday 8pm, C4)

You’ve probably already gone through the emotional highs and lows of the final series of ER, but there’s no reason why you can’t do it again as it kicks into the terrestrial showing for the greatest TV show on earth’s swansong. This second episode sees the team coming to terms with Greg’s death, but things are torn apart by the arrival of new chief, Dr Banfield (Angela Bassett on blistering form).

Casualty 1909 (Sunday 9pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

The excellent Casualty 1909 returns (although last time it was 1908), with Cheri Lunghi and David Troughton heading a solid cast. It’s beautifully realised stuff in its attention to period detail, with cases brought to life from original documents. In this opener of a slightly longer run, an explosion in the East End brings victims through the doors of the London Hospital and the staff struggle to cope - especially as fears of terrorist action fray the patients’ tempers.

Kingdom (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

A typically bonkers episode of the enjoyable drama starring Stephen Fry as Norfolk solicitor Peter Kingdom. There’s a spacey theme this week as crop circles bring sci-fans flocking to the area. Colin Baker, the Sixth Doctor Who, appropriately guest-stars.

First off, a big thanks to the guys who run the Radio 4 Twitter feed for being so complimentary about our weekly Turn off the TV radio previews. It’s really appreciated.

The Saturday Play: J’Accuse Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
Emile Zola’s open letter to the French government about the wrongful imprisonment of Jewish Army Officer Alfred Dreyfus provides the inspriation for this play by Hattie Naylor. Mark Heap play Louis Gregori, who gives his perspective of the events that led him to believe that Dreyfus’ murder was the correct and only action. Conrad Nelson also stars as Zola.

Archive on 4: The First A&R Man Radio 4, Saturday 8pm
A look at the early days of the recording industry, as Paul Gambaccini scours through the archives of EMI to uncover the story of Fred Gaisberg. One of the first record producers, Gaisberg was the first to record the voice of Enrico Caruso.

BBC Cardiff Singer of the World 2009 Final Radio 3, Sunday 5.30pm
Petroc Trelawney presents live coverage of the grand final from St David’s Hall, Cardiff.

Drama on 3: The Gambler Radio 3, Sunday 8pm
Glyn Maxwell creates a new adaptation of Dostoevsky’s novel about Alexei Ivanovich, a young tutor working for a Russian family who falls in love with the beautiful but unattainable Polina. Sam Crana stars as Alexei, with support from Nicholas Le Provost, Patricia Routledge and Siobhan Hewlett.

Woman’s Hour Drama: Diary of an On-Call Girl Radio 4, Monday-Friday 10.45am & 7.45pm
It started life as a blog, became a book and now is adapted into a radio series by Yvonne Antrobus. Nadine Marshall plays WPC EE Bloggs, aka ‘Bloggsy’, who chronicles the ups and downs of life in the modern police service.

PICK OF THE WEEK: I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue Radio 4, Monday 6.30pm
After the sad passing of our beloved Humph, ISIHAC could have quietly shuffled off into the sunset, but it returns with guest host (and former panel member) Stephen Fry. Regulars Graeme Garden, Barry Cryer and Tim Brooke-Taylor are joined by new girl Victoria Wood, who turned down the chance to appear on the show 19 years ago, but hopefully will make many more appearances in future.

Afternoon Play: The Granny Killers Radio 4, Tuesday 2.15pm
Twins Chris and Liddy want to kill their granny, who is the money-obsessed head of a property empire. What they don’t know is that granny herself has murderous plans: to kill her new husband on their wedding night. Lesley Joseph stars in a black comedy by David Hodgson.

Afternoon Play: Desperate Measures Radio 4, Thursday 2.15pm
Last year, Anne Marie di Mambro’s Blaze in the Afternoon Play slot featured husband-and-wife designers Paul and Mhairi Blaze, whose relationship nearly fell apart when the son Paul never knew he had appeared on the scene. In this sequel by David Ian Neville, Paul and Mhairi (Neil MckInven and Gabriel Quigley) are struggling to keep their design company afloat. When the Mary Portas-like Clara (This Life’s Daniela Nardini) turns up with an offer of investment, what dirty secrets about Paul does she know about?

Electric Ink Radio 4, Friday 11am
In this consistently entertaining comedy about how new media is changing journalism, young upstart Freddie inadvertently breaks a major political story on Twitter.

Colour My World: The Tony Hatch Story Radio 2, Friday 7pm
First of a three-part profile series on the career of Tony Hatch to celebrate his 70th birthday at the end of the month. Presented by Bill Kenwright, the series looks at his long partnership with Petula Clark that resulted in hits including Downtown, Don’t Sleep in the Subway and I Know a Place, as well as work with Benny Hill, Connie Francis and the Searchers — and, of course, as composer of the themes to TV soap operas Crossroads and Neighbours. Followed by a repeat of January’s Friday Night is Music Night dedicated to his work.

Regular readers of TV Today will know (probably with a roll of the eyes) of my all-consuming love for Masterchef (nee Masterchef Goes Large). I love the speed of it, the banter from John and Gregg, the delights, the disasters and the triumphs for all those enthusiastic home cooks.

But the “new” format (despite the fact we’ve had this version of Masterchef since 2005) hasn’t endeared everyone to it.

Masterchef’s original presenter Loyd Grossman has been quoted as saying at a recent event:

Old original Masterchef was polite and well-mannered, whereas the new Masterchef is a more aggressive programme which seems to be what people want.

So that would be a saucer of milk for table nine then.

Who would have wanted to be a fly on the wall at Monday night’s reported meeting of top level on-screen BBC talent where they were effectively told that their salaries could be slashed by up to 40% when contracts are renegotiated?

Well, this one has been coming for quite a while now and is only indicative of wider changes affecting the broadcasting landscape of British television, not just within the walls of Broadcasting House.

Reportedly in attendance were the likes of Bruce Forsyth, Dara O’Briain, Jeremy Clarkson and Lenny Henry. Erm… Lenny Henry? What was he doing there? Serving the coffee? One can only guess at the reaction from such heavyweights of the BBC celebrity payroll, but I would have paid good money to be there. I bet Brucie didn’t feel like dancing, that’s for sure.

According to the Guardian, one well-known attendee at the meeting said afterwards:

I think we can all agree that this year’s titanic struggle to win the approval of Siralan (and a £100,000 a year job) has provided one of the best series of The Apprentice to date. Record breaking ratings, a joyous parade of human stupidity and ego clashing, one-liners lobbed around like grenades, Nick’s facial expressions and some delightful grumping from Siralan (especially if you mention Sandhurst within earshot).

But however good The Apprentice 2009 was, Sunday evening’s post final edition of You’re Hired!, brought with it a bitter sweet body blow that would have been keenly felt by any devoted fan of ringmaster Siralan’s circus - THE SAINTED MARGARET MOUNTFORD IS LEAVING!!!!!!

Man the battle stations, sound the alarm, buy a second home and claim it on expenses and let slip the dogs of war! I can only assume that the politicians and heads of state across Europe have been too busy with all this election nonsense to ask serious questions and declare a state of emergency. This disastrous situation simply cannot be allowed to happen!

One of my favourite ads at the moment is the one by Thinkbox, in which a therapist’s patient regresses into reciting clips from some classic TV commercials. The message, unsurprisingly for a body which aims to promote the virtues of television advertising, is that a good TV commercial creates a strong brand impact for your products.

The only problem is that all the campaigns quoted in the advert are pretty dated, the newest being Budweiser’s “Wassup?” campaign from 2000. Elements of some campaigns remain - Sugar Puffs’ Honey Monster, Fairy Liquid’s “Mild Green” tagline. But generally, commercials these days just do not have the same impact.

This may seem like a bit of frippery, but as advertising revenues reduce across the board, unless TV advertising fails to bring in the cash programme budgets will get further tightened, with a resultant loss in quality that means fewer viewers, meaning reduced ad revenues, and so the vicious spiral continues.

Clearly Thinkbox has been set up to try and prevent that happening. But it may already be too late.

Whether it’s because modern campaigns need to work in multiple countries, or just that budgets are now so tight that creativity has gone for a burton, I don’t know. But can you honestly think of a campaign running today that would warrant inclusion if Thinkbox were to create a similar ad in five — or even two, or one — years’ time?

Ashes to Ashes (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

The second season finale of a much-improved series sees Gene and Alex’s relationship tested to the full. Gene no longer knows who to trust after corruption sweeps through the force, leaving him tackling an expected heist without his usual back up. Alex meanwhile, seems to be battling an infection all the way from 2008, which is causing her to behave erratically in the 1980s. The big question is: will she get back to reality, or are we heading for a third series?

Holby City (Tuesday 8pm, BBC1)

It’s Joseph and Faye’s wedding, and typically for Holby, it’s not going to be a smooth affair. Bride and groom both have their fair share of hang-ups and emotional baggage, but they seem intent on going ahead with things. But there’s a drunk best man, exes galore (a text from Jac you say?) and various parents to cause problems. And Jane Asher is in this episode, so that makes it doubly worth watching!

Mary, Queen of Charity Shops (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

I love Mary Portas. She’s utterly terrifying, naturally, but that’s the only way to get things changed in businesses that are too set in their ways. And charity shops are a challenge in themselves, especially at Save the Children in Orpington. This week, Mary surges ahead with plans for a major refurbishment of the shop, which is met with resistance from the faithful staff. Brilliant stuff!

Celebrity Masterchef (Wednesday 8pm, BBC1)

Everything’s fine, it’s all going to be okay. It’s the annual celebrity version of one of the greatest shows on television as Gregg Wallace and John Torode return to cogitate and consider. Over the next month, a parade of various lower-order celebrities will march their culinary creations through the Masterchef kitchen, do lunch services in professional kitchens and generally try to impress the foodie socks off John and Gregg. Remember, cooking Doesn’t. Get. Tougher. Than. This!

Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire (Thursday 9pm, BBC2)

I wondered last week if an hour running time is just a bit too long to sustain what is essentially a traditional sit-com, but there seems to be enough going on in this fantasy spoof to raise enough titters. It helps when you have Matt Lucas, unfettered by David Walliams, giving it his all as the evil Dongalar, the mortal enemy of Sean Maguire’s clean cut warrior Krod Mandoon. There are plenty of soft targets in the fantasy genre to have a dig at, but it’s the modern dialogue contrasting with the sword and sorcery elements that give this a nice edge. Might take an episode to bed in, but probably worth sticking with.

May Contain Nuts (Thursday 9pm, ITV1)

John O’Farrell’s novel, on which this is based, is a funny, endearing comedy about social pressures in the suburban middle classes. The television version is a highly irritating comedy drama about people that it’s hard to like. Middle class mother Alice (Shirley Henderson) goes to the ludicrous lengths of dressing up as her 11 year-old daughter to sit an entrance exam for a school to make sure she gets into it. It doesn’t help that Shirley Henderson has a habit of playing irritating characters in the first place, but really, this is one that should have been left as a novel where it was much more palatable.

Zoe Ball Radio 2, Saturday 6am
Emma Forbes Radio 2, Sunday 5am
And the weekend schedule for Radio 2 continues to evolve, with two new presenters for the early morning slots. On Saturday, former Radio 1 breakfast show presenter Zoe Ball takes to the microphone, while her fellow Live & Kicking alumna Emma Forbes has the early Sunday shift. It’s enough to make you think that new channel controller Bob Shennan has a thing for former Saturday morning TV presenters. If Sarah Greene and Maggie Philbin turn up any time soon, that’ll confirm it…

Punt, PI Radio 4, Saturday 10.30am
Comedian Steve Punt returns with his whimsical investigation series. This week, did Hitler realy intend to set up his post-invasion base in Balham, south London? With the help of Balham residents, including Stage columnist Arthur Smith, he attempts to find out.

Desert Island Discs Radio 4, Sunday 11.15am
This week’s castaway is Britain’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan. You know, just for once I wish this programme involved a real desert island to despatch Morgan to. He’d have to survive without public attention, but at least he’d have his biggest fan — himself — for company.

Elaine Paige on Sunday Radio 2, Sunday 1pm
In advance of the Tony Awards, EP looks at the contenders for best musical, including Shrek and Billy Elliot. Plus Maria Friedman, shortly to be seen in The King and I at the Royal Albert Hall, sings a number from the show.

Classic Serial: Armadale Radio 4, Sunday 3pm
Robin Brooks dramatises the Wilkie Collins novel. When young Allan Armadale (Alex Robertson) unexpectedly inherits a country seat in Norfolk, he attracts the attentions of the vampish Lydia (Lucy Robinson) who determines to seduce and marry him. But there are other mysteries afoot, not least in the shape of the mysterious Midwinter (Ray Fearon).

Afternoon Play: How You Feeling, Alf? Radio 4, Monday 2.15pm
The Labour government is in disarray, and needs all the support it can muster. Things are so bad that Alf (David Ryall) is summoned to London from his Leeds deathbed. Set in 1979 as Jim Callaghan’s administration was imploding, this production may well have unintended ultra-topical resonance…

Hot Gossip Radio 2, Thursday 10pm
Claudia Winkleman hosts a second series of the comedy panel show revolving around the world of celebrity gossip. Something of a News Quiz for the Heat generation. This week’s studio guests are Robin Ince and Dom Joly.

Friday Night is Music Night Radio 2, Friday 7.30pm
A live performance with the BBC Concert Orchestra and singers Emma Williams and Patrick Clancy, showcasing music from films and musicals. The show comes from the endangered Mermaid Theatre.

Have I Got News For You (Friday 9.30pm, BBC1)

Definitely one to watch tonight as the guest host is the delectable and wonderfully funny Ruth Jones, who is about to start filming for the third and final series of Gavin and Stacey.

Keep on Running: 50 Years of Island Records (Friday 9pm, BBC4)

Cracking documentary that features an interview with the founder of Island Records, Chris Blackwell, who founded the company in 1959. Island has had at various points artists such as U2, Bob Marley, Roxy Music and Sugababes on its books, and Blackwell seemed to have a Midas touch for picking varied and interesting acts. Fascinating stuff.

Robin Hood (Saturday 6.45pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

The episode where everything changes and Robin and Guy learn some painful truths about their family histories. The pair are drugged and forced to a listen to a story related round a campfire by a hooded stranger. It’s good stuff and sends what has been a brilliant series in a new direction and hurtling towards the climax in a few weeks.

Primeval (Saturday 7.30pm, ITV1)

The excellent and thrilling Primeval brings its third series to a close with an episode that takes in different time zones and the usual mix of monsters and mayhem. The deliciously evil Helen Cutter is trying to change the course of history (or is she changing it back to how it should be?), which leads Danny and the team into a battle against the thug of the dinosaur world - the raptor. Here’s to season four - go on ITV, you know it makes sense!

Totally Saturday (Saturday 7.30pm, BBC1)

New variety show for a Saturday night, hosted by Graham Norton. Will it strike the same note as Saturday Night Takeaway?

Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow (Saturday 9.30pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

Bewilderingly popular stand up McIntyre brings his tediously smug brand of comedy to various regions. Sorry, I know he’s popular, but I just don’t get it… This should do well in the ratings though, so I’m willing to give it a chance as he’s clearly doing something that people like.

Hope Springs (Sunday 8pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

Alex Kingston heads up the cast in this light drama about a group of female ex-cons who perform one last job that goes horribly wrong. And when that happens, what do youdo ? That’s right, you head to a small village in the Scottish Highlands and hide from the law. Erm… sounds great. Actually, this should be rather enjoyable in a jolly, Monarch of the Glen type way, so it seems churlish to complain.

The Apprentice (Sunday 9pm, BBC1)

Flipping to Sunday to avoid clashing with England’s World Cup qualifier on Wednesday, this is the one we’ve been waiting for. The grand final sees Kate and Yasmina picking a team of previously fired candidates to help launch a new brand of chocolates. Expect a joyous and brilliant end to what has been a superb series all round. In the end, there can be only one. Kate for the win!

Kingdom (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Stephen Fry returns as lovable Norfolk solicitor Peter Kingdom for more gentle comedy drama. Everybody is here - his assistant Lyle, receptionist Gloria and bonkers sister Beatrice. The scenery is lovely, and it’s hard not to be utterly won over by Fry’s engaging performance in the title role. Nice.

The first night of Big Brother is always a depressing time. For starters, it’s the opening night of Big Brother, the tediousness of which speaks for itself (ooh look, there’s no housemates this year, aren’t we clever?!). But the live launch also marks the beginning of summer for television - and we know what that means…

THERE’S NOTHING ON!

It might not be quite as bad as all that, but these are the traditional months of television apathy, when all those dramas and comedies that the broadcasters aren’t quite enamoured with are hastily shuffled into the schedules. Here, when they inevitably crash and burn in the ratings, there’s the excuse that it was summer, nobody was watching anyway.

And with the Met Office trying to convince us that this summer could be something of a scorcher, might we be seeing ratings crash to some record lows? It’s certainly the trend (even in winter months) for ratings to be on the slide, and blips like last weekend’s Britain’s Got Talent final are now few and far between. It’s not unusual in this day and age for even the terrestrial channels to log figures that are sub the one million mark - something that even ten years ago would have been unthinkable (unless you were Channel Five.)

Just catching up on several stories and observations from the last few day as we recover from the Britain’s Got Talent onslaught at the weekend…

And speaking of Britain’s Got Talent, the big story of the week in the world of telly is BGT’s runner up Susan Boyle being admitted to The Priory following last weekend’s final. The singer is reportedly exhausted in the aftermath of weeks of media attention and the BGT’s schedule. After police were called to the hotel in which she was staying, Boyle voluntarily agreed to her admission to the clinic.

Questions are now being asked as to whether Britain’s Got Talent has exploited Boyle, who has learning difficulties, and that perhaps insufficient safeguards and procedures were not in place to protect the performer.

EastEnders (Monday 8pm, BBC1)

Nick Cotton’s latest plan to off his mother (this one’s been running longer than Penelope Pitstop and the Hooded Claw) by crushing pills in her food hits something of a snag in tonight’s visit to Albert Square when little Dotty has second thoughts about a bit of Grannycide. Molly Conlin as the not so demonic Dotty is absolutely brilliant and her turn has made this storyline highly memorable. But something big is in the horizon - will Nick manage to carry his plot off?

Ashes to Ashes (Monday 9pm, BBC1)

With next week’s finale looming, this episode is nicely brooding, with Alex utterly convinced that she’s about to get herself a first class ticket straight back to 2008. There’s lots of stuff going on, including a new appearance from the always excellent Adrian Dunbar, who knows more about Alex’s predicament than she does. And then there’s Gene, who makes some shocking discoveries that will test his character to the core.

Holby City (Tuesday 8pm, BBC1)

A highly emotional episode of Holby following last week’s excellent and dramatic piece that saw Maddy tragically murdered. And the funeral is a difficult time for the staff as Maria tries to come up with a speech for the young doctor’s memorial service. Holby can still pull out the stops when it needs to, and this is no exception.

Mary, Queen of Charity Shops (Tuesday 9pm, BBC2)

This could almost be a Victoria Wood penned sit-com, with Julie Walters as a glamorous fashonista who turns up to whip a high street charity shop into shape, with Anne Reid, Duncan Preston and Thelma Barlow playing the shop’s staff. Glorious then that this is the very real and goddess like Mary Portas who has pitched up at Save the Children in Orpington to get things running smoothly again. Hugely enjoyable.

The Apprentice (Wednesday 9pm, BBC1)

The best show on the box reaches the penultimate round, and one of my personal favourites. There’s no opportunity to land your fellow candidates in the brown stuff here as it’s every man and woman for themselves when they literally attend a job interview. The interviews are conducted by four of Sir Alan’s most trusted acolytes, and boy do they go for the jugular, ripping the veracity of some flimsy CVs to pieces. And bless James for giving us one of the best lines from the entire run of the series. Joyous!

Life (Wednesday 10pm, ITV3)

Sadly cancelled in the States, Life returns exclusively to ITV3 for a second and final run. Damian Lewis once again plays quirky cop Charlie Crews who served 12 years in prison for murder before his conviction was overturned. It’s an engaging show, thanks to Lewis’s performance as Crews, who remains as Zen and fruit obsessed as ever. 21 episodes - enjoy them while you can.

Big Brother 10 (Thursday 9pm, C4)

For better or worse, Big Brother returns for what is an expected penultimate series of incarceration and hi-jinx with a group of mis-matched housemates who will make us laugh, cry and throw shoes at the screen (what, you’ve never done that?). I honestly fell out with Big Brother the year we began TV Today - it had become desperate and stale, seeking and failing to find new ways of torturing the housemates for our vicarious pleasure. But it is the show that still defines Channel 4 in the here and now, and that’s got to be worth a couple of pages in somebody’s book.

As we’ve documented throughout our Eurovision coverage this year, each country’s telephone votes were supplemented by votes of a jury panel from each country, consisting of five music industry professionals.

There has been some speculation about the effect that this had on the United Kingdom’s final score, which saw the Andrew Lloyd Webber/Diane Warren song It’s My Time performed by Jade Ewen end up in fifth place, our best placement since Jessica Garlick’s Come Back in 2002.

But speculation was all it was — until now. The BBC Eurovision website has compiled a table of how each country would have placed if only the jury votes had been counted.

Going by jury votes alone, the five highest scoring countries would have been:

1. Norway (312 points) - Actual combined jury and phone votes: 387 points (1st)

2. Iceland (260 points) - Combined: 218 points (2nd)

3. United Kingdom (223 points) - Combined: 173 points (5th)

4. France (164 points) - Combined: 107 points (8th)

5. Estonia (124 points) - Combined: 129 points (6th)

The BBC has the full list.

As you can see, the UK did better from jury voting than it did from the real combined vote - proving that, in our case, the jury system did help bolster support for It’s My Time at least a little. But Norway’s Alexander Rybak would still have won by a clear margin.

Incidentally, my attention has also been drawn to an entry on the BBC Comedy website, with comedian Adam Buxton delving into the Eurovision archives to uncover what 1991’s French entrant, Amina, was hearing in her earpiece as she was performing:

We have featured the genius of Adam Buxton here on TV Today before, highlighting his take on Songs of Praise. What a shame BBC3 chose not to pick his MeeBox pilot for a full series.

Yesterday, I was pondering whether to write something about Friday’s Britain’s Got Talent semi-final, which saw ten-year-old Hollie Steel break down when she struggled half way through her rendition of Edelweiss.

Every series of BGT has had several child performers, but this is the first time that we have seen a child falter and be reduced to tears mid-song. It prompted a number of queries as to whether the show should, in future series, introduce a minimum age requirement — opinions with which Hollie’s mother Nina disagrees:

If any child performer wants to make it then they have to get used to tough times as well as good times. There will always be auditions that don’t go well and disappointments but that doesn’t mean that children should not be allowed on the show.

This has been a fantastic experience for her which she has really enjoyed.

[…]

Children tend to get nervous about these things. But it is ridiculous to suggest this should be the basis for removing all children from the show.

This morning’s news that Susan Boyle (who came second to street dance troupe Diversity in Sunday’s live final) was assessed under the Mental Health Act and admitted to a private clinic has led to further speculation about the quality of care provided to contestants.