August 2009 Archives

Adam & Joe BBC 6music, Saturday 9am
After a summer break, Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish return to the 6music airwaves for more Song Wars, shouts of Stephen! and Text the Nation.

Purely Peel
Radio 7, Saturday 10am, repeated 8pm
This Sunday would have been legendary DJ John Peel’s 70th birthday. To mark the occasion, Steve Lamacq celebrates his life in a programme first broadcast in 2008.

The Golden Age
Radio 7, Saturday 1pm
James Fleet stars in an adaptation of Wind in the Willows creator Kenneth Grahame’s 1895 collection of stories. Five orphaned children create a magical world for themselves in the countryside, but their lives change when their toys are sent to impoverished children in London.

The Saturday Play: Lockerbie on Trial
Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
A timely repeat for the dramatised reconstruction of the 2001 trial of Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi and Al Amin Khalifa Fhimah, both charged with blowing up Pan Am Flight 103. The trial would ultimate see Megrahi convicted and Fhimah acquitted, but on the way previously cast-iron witnesses were revealed as CIA double agents, convicted terrorists and arms dealers. Written by Peter Goodchild and produced by Margaret Renn and Jeremy Howe, who has written a piece on the Radio 4 blog about the trials (if you’ll excuse the pun) of bringing the transcripts to life as a piece of drama.

Elaine Paige on Sunday
Radio 2, Sunday 1pm
Today’s studio guest is Alan Cumming, whose new one-man show I Bought a Blue Car Today opens at the Vaudeville Theatre next week. A live performance comes from Sally Ann Triplett, currently playing Donna in Mamma Mia!.

Dashiell Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon
Radio 7, Sunday 1pm
Tom Wilkinson stars as Sam Spade in an adptation of the classic detective thriller. Jane Lapotaire and Peter Vaughan also star.

The Beatles at the Beeb
Radio 2, Monday 12pm
As part of Radio 2’s Beatles Bank Holiday Weekend, this programme looks at some of the session recordings and interviews that the Fab four conducted with the BBC. Presented by Bill Kenwright.

Twice Ken is Plenty: the Lost Script of Kenneth Williams
Radio 4, Tuesday 11.30am
Originally written for Kenneth Williams and Kenneth Horne, this 1966 script was never performed and laid forgotten until discovered by Williams collector Wes Butters along a pile of the comedian’s papers sold on eBay by his godson. Robin Sebastian and Jonathan Rigby play Williams and Horne in a frothy script that has the duo trying to infiltrate the inner recesses of Broadcasting House.

Afternoon Play: Fireflies
Radio 4, Thursday 2.15pm
Six people are stranded at an airport due to bad weather. Martin (James Fleet) is on his way to a suicide clinic in Switzerland after being diagnosed with a terminal illness. At the airport, he bumps into old flame Clara (Helena Breck). Jeanne and Nate are a neurotic couple embarking on their first holiday together since kicking alcohol addiction, while Olga and Oliver are both travelling to the US but for very different reasons.

Radio 2 Live in Blackpool
Radio 2, Friday from 5pm
A number of shows coming from the North-west’s entertainment capital, including a live, swing-themed edition of Friday Night is Music Night from the town’s Opera House, and an outdoor concert featuring JLS, Madness, Tony Christie and culminating with Alan Carr switching on the Blackpool Illuminations.

The Tudors (Friday 9pm, BBC2/BBCHD)

More delicious daftness from the court of King Henry VIII in one of the most enjoyable and exuberant shows on the box. As you might expect after last week’s episodes, the Yorkshire rebels walk right into Henry’s trap (well, it was hardly a trap, he just lied) and fall foul of the King’s temper. We’re definitely into Henry’s miserable git era here, and although he isn’t putting on the pounds (pies pies pies, it’s the only way) he’s shouting a lot. Elsewhere, her dullness Queen Anne is heavy with child…

True Blood (Friday 10pm FX)

True Blood just gets better and better, and after last week’s more sombre, sensitive outing, tonight’s slice of vampire craziness is packed with incident. Sookie is head over heels for Bill, Jason is after some more V and heads off to Fangtasia, Sam is running butt naked across the bayou, and some of Bill’s vampire friends arrive with the news that they’ve bought a house nearby. I’ve heard of problem neighbours, but that’s just ridiculous. Oh, and Tara’s booze hound mother claims she needs an exorcism… See? Packed!

The X Factor (Saturday 7pm, ITV1)

Well, with the audition rounds broken thanks to the live audience (what were they thinking) I think I can safely sit things out until the later bootcamp rounds. The ratings will still be mega, but it doesn’t mean that making the show a clone of Britain’s Got Talent was a good idea.

ER (Saturday 7.25pm, C4)

Two episodes from the final series of one of TV drama’s greats. The second episode is highly noteworthy as it marks the return of George Clooney (who he?), Julianna Marguiles and Eriq La Salle to pay tribute at the altar of the show that made their careers. It’s cleverly done and manages to avoid too much sentimentality, which is a feat in itself. Great stuff.

A Night at the Office (Sunday from 9pm, BBC2)

Whatever I might think of Ricky Gervaise in the here and now, even I can’t deny the simple genius that was The Office. It seemed to come from nowhere and hit the right note with anybody who watched it, literally making Hollywood movie stars out of most of the cast. This evening is devoted to all six episodes of the brilliant first series, peppered with observations throughout by Gervaise, Stephen Merchant and the rest of the cast.

Wuthering Heights (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Tom Hardy as Heathcliff? Really? Can I roll my eyes now? People are trying to convince me that this is a brilliant, magnetic piece of casting for Peter Bowker’s adaptation of Emily Bronte’s most famous novel. I suppose it would be brilliant casting if one didn’t think that Hardy has an unbelievably narrow range. But despite this piece of woefully lazy casting, there’s plenty to engross yourself in, not least of all Bowker’s script, which makes up for Desperate Romantics. Not everybody will like it - as a novel it has the ability to get people’s emotions worked up, so any new adaptation is going to be equally emotive. Do they have message boards and forums in Bronte fandom? Concludes tomorrow night.

I was greatly interested to see the appointment of Lucy Lumsden’s replacement as the BBC’s comedy controller to fill the space as Lumsden departs for pastures new at Sky. Cheryl Taylor was perhaps an easy shoe-in for the job, considering she was already acting as executive editor, out of London, for comedy commissioning, and had also covered Lumsden’s maternity leave.

Taylor will take up the post in the autumn, and will remain in Manchester where she is currently based. So this seems perfectly pitched to cause least upheaval of a key role during the BBC’s relocation of staff to Manchester.

Big Brother is dead, long live Big Brother! Or should I be jumping up and down, trilling: “Ding-Dong, the witch is dead!”? I can’t quite make my mind up about this…

Yes, as you will no doubt have already heard, Channel 4 has today announced that the legendary, genre-defining reality show Big Brother will end after the next series in 2010. This isn’t really a surprise. With Channel 4’s contract with producers Endemol up after that series, and in the face of diminishing returns, you can’t blame the broadcaster for not wanting to commit more money to an expensive deal for a couple more years.

I haven’t watched Big Brother for years, if truth be told. The first year of TV Today saw me actively avoiding the show - in fact, my very posting to this blog was on that very subject. It stopped being innovative television and had descended, possibly quite naturally, into an exercise in voyeurism and cruelty.

The third season of The Tudors began its UK premier last Friday on BBC2, with 2.3 million tuning in. It was as pretty, ludicrous, dramatic and deliciously arch as ever. 90 minutes of intrigue, sex, nice frocks, and a collection of accents that battle all the way from Nova Scotia, to Dublin, on to the Pennines and back again.

There’s a new title sequence taking into account the wholesale departure of the entire Boleyn family, with Jonathan Rhys Meyers preening a little too much at the top as Henry. Gone are the intense looks into camera, now he’s standing like the very welcoming doorman of a fetish club. Who is the chap with the eye patch, he looks fun? And blimey, we’ve gone from Peter O’Toole to Max von Sydow in the space of a season - impressive!

With Anne’s head saying a rapid farewell to her shoulders at the close of season two, Henry is on to wife number three in the form of Jane Seymour. Annabelle Wallis gives her Jane a nicely winsome air, more Sloane ranger where Anne was smouldering sexkitten.

This year’s line up has just been announced:

The male celebrities

• Joe Calzaghe, boxer (paired with Kristina Rihanoff)
• Phil Tufnell, cricketer and TV presenter (Katya Virshilas, a new dancer for 2009)
• Richard Dunwoody, jockey (Lilia Kopylova)
• Craig Kelly, actor (Queer as Folk, Coronation Street) (Flavia Cacace)
• Chris Hollins, journalist and TV presenter (Ola Jordan)
• Rav Wilding, TV presenter (Aliona Vilani, another new dancer)
• Ricky Groves, actor (EastEnders) (Erin Boag)
• Ricky Whittle, actor (Hollyoaks) (Natalie Lowe, also new)

 The female celebrities

• Lynda Bellingham, actor and Loose Women panel member (Darren Bennett)
• Natalie Cassidy, actor (EastEnders) and TV presenter (Vincent Simone)
• Martina Hingis, tennis player (Matthew Cutler)
• Zoe Lucker, actor (Footballers Wives) (James Jordan)
• Jo Wood, ex-wife of Rolling Stones member Ronnie Wood (Brendan Cole)
• Laila Rouass, actor (Footballers Wives, Primeval) (Anton Du Beke)
• Jade Johnson, heptathlete (Ian Waite)
• Ali Bastian, actor (Hollyoaks, The Bill) (Brian Fortuna)

More details, including the professional dancers they’ll be training and performing with, to follow. I’ll update the list above as more information comes in.

Update: All couples now confirmed.

Update 2: Some more details about changes to the first couple of weeks of the show. The couples will be split into two sets as per the last couple of years, but not along straight male/female lnes as previously.

Each couple will have to dance two dances in their first week, which will play out over two nights. On Fridays, they will perform either a waltz or tango from the standard Ballroom repertoire, while in the Saturday show the next day the same couples will perform a cha cha or a rumba from the more showy Latin repertoire.

Dancing in the first week will be:

• Ali Bastian and Brian Fortuna
• Lynda Bellingham and Darren Bennett
• Joe Calzaghe and Kristina Rihanoff
• Ricky Groves and Erin Boag
• Martina Hingis and Matthew Cutler
• Chris Hollins and Ola Jordan
• Jade Johnson and Ian Waite
• Rav Wilding and Aliona Vilani

As usual when couple have danced more than once in a week, the judges’ scores from each dance will be combined to provide a final leaderboard before the public phone lines open.

Ever since Aussie soap Neighbours jumped ship to Five, BBC1’s pre-Six O’Clock News slot has been occupied by quiz show The Weakest Link. As Matt reported back in April, Liam Keelan, the BBC’s controller of daytime, resisted the temptation to plough more money into soap opera, except for the short-lived Out of the Blue, commissioned by the BBC but produced and shot in Australia and, of course, the ongoing success of Doctors.

The reasoning was that the money saved could be put into shorter run, original dramas. This approach has already borne fruit in the likes of several runs under the Afternoon Play umbrella. More recently, too, we’ve seen Moving On, at whose launch Keelan had been speaking and which has since been recommissioned, with a doubling of the order from five episodes in the last run to ten in the second series.

This autumn, we’ll see Land Girls, an episodic drama stripped across five days starring Nahaniel Parker, Christine Bottomley and Summer Strallen, showing as part of a season of programmes commemorating the 70th anniversary of the start of World War II.

What’s interesting about this latest drama is the time slot it has been given. Previous daytime dramas, including Moving On, were given a time slot of 2.15pm or thereabouts, whereas Land Girls will air in the early evening at 5.15pm, the spot usually occupied by The Weakest Link.

Whether the subject matter will be enough to keep children watching once the CBBC on BBC1 strand as ended, or to divert soap fans used to their Neighours/Home and Away double bill on Five, remains to be seen. But in a world where ITV’s drama efforts in the time slot consist of murder mystery repeats, any attempts to engage the audience with original drama must be applauded. And at least it’s better than another repeat of The Weakest Link.

Pointless
BBC2, from Monday 4.30pm
How many tabloid TV reviewers will be scrabbling around the bottom of the pun barrel, thanks to the title of this new daytime quiz show? Alexander Armstrong hosts a reversal of the Family Fortunes formula, with contestants struggling to find the correct answer identified by the fewest people surveyed. The simplicity of the parlour game at the heart of this show could make it a winner.

Prince John: The Windsors’ Tragic Secret
Channel 4, Monday 8pm
A repeat showing for the documentary exploring the young Prince John, whose learning difficulties and epilepsy led him to be kept away from public life before dying at the tragically early age of just 15. The inspiration for Steven Poliakoff’s The Lost Prince, which remains one of the auteur’s most accessible television works. It’s available on DVD now.

A1: The Road Musical
More4, Tuesday 8.30pm
As The Daily Show with Jon Stewart goes on a three week break (but not before committing a great public service by skewering Betsy McCaughey over her claims about the US’ proposed healthcare reforms), the post-More4 News slot gets turned over to repeats of the First Cut strand of documentaries by up-and-coming directors. The run kicks off with the fun A1: The Road Musical, setting lives from up and down the trunk road to music.

Chuck
Virgin 1, Tuesday 9pm
With the increasing prevalence of 3D in the nation’s cinemas, this week we get an episode of the US comedy-drama about a geek secret agent (yes, yes, I know I’m underselling it) which also dabbles in the third dimension. The glasses you’ll need are amber/blue coloured, rather than the polarising lenses used in the cinema. The same technology is due to be used in Channel 4’s forthcoming week of 3D-themed shows.

Roy
CBBC, Wednesday 4.30pm
I mentioned this when the 12-part series started three weeks ago, and if you’re not watching it yet, then you can use iPlayer to catch up with the series. This family-friendly sitcom, about a young boy who is a cartoon in a live action world, is one of the best programmes on TV right now.

Shooting Stars
BBC2, Wednesday 10pm
On the Tube into work this morning, I saw a woman who must have been in her late eighties with bright, fuschia-pink hair (apart from a couple of inches at the roots), piled on the top of he head and held in place by matching fuschia-pink butterfly-shaped hair grips, a white dress with enormous red polka dots and what looked suspiciously like a ra-ra skirt, and shoes that wouldn’t have looked out in place in The Wizard of Oz. By trying so hard, she just looked tired and out-of-date — a fitting metaphor for this completely unnecessary (and, criminally, unfunny) revival of something that was once the funniest show on television. Reeves & Mortimer return with Ulrika Jonsson and Jack Dee as team captains and Matt Lucas’s George Dawes keeping scores.

The Funny Side of… Live TV
BBC2, Thursday 9.30pm
Look, it’s a slow week on the TV front, okay? If it weren’t, there’d be no need to focus on this torpid clip show which intersperses sporadically amusing clips with dull links from a studio-bound Clive Anderson, and occasional talking heads, all adding up to a really poor imitation of ITV’s old It Shouldn’t Happen To… Still, look on the bright side — a number of TV series end this week, and the new autumn schedules will start to kick in soon. Hurrah! Unfortunately, The Funny Side of… is not one of those shows…

While ITV may have the shiny floor to itself for the next couple of weekends with its launch of The X Factor, but Strictly Come Dancing will be snapping at its heels very shortly thereafter.

The official press launch is on Tuesday, at which point we’ll all know who this year’s contestants are. Security is much tighter this year, after the full list of celebrities appeared in the tabloids last year. My own contacts at the BBC are being very tight-lipped, as they should be, but I do understand that some of the names that have been touted in the press are way, way out — while one or two are much nearer the mark.

The web team at the BBC are ramping up the tension, with the release of a teaser video (below). No news about the celebs, but we do get to see some of the dancers, including the three new female professionals:

As in previous years, we’ll be reviewing each week’s show, and we’ll have downloadable scoresheets for you to play along at home with — and to pretend that, if they were going to replace Arlene with anyone, it should have been you…

Merlin (Friday 8.30pm, BBC3)

Another chance to see the first series of the adventure drama ahead of a second run this autumn. It’s summat about dragons.

The Tudors (Friday 9pm, BBC2/BBCHD)

Ah, that’s better. The Tudors returns for a new run of courtly intrigue, political chicanery, nice frocks and beautiful people. The entire series hinges on the performance of Jonathan Rhys Meyers, whose preening, strutting, arrogant take on Henry VIII is quite compelling to watch. In this double header of episodes to open the season, Henry weds Jane Seymour (no, not that one), takes a mistress (well duh!) and sends Charles Brandon to tackle some rebelling Yorkshiremen and ask them terribly nicely if they’d like to stop. Good, entertaining fare.

True Blood (Friday 10pm, FX)

Friday night’s other must-see has our heroine Sookie Stackhouse dealing with a devastating loss in her life, and there’s a sensitivity here that we haven’t seen previously from the vampire drama. It shows that True Blood can turn on a sixpence if need be and throw you a curveball - as you’d expect from the pen of Alan Ball.

The X Factor (Saturday 7pm, ITV1)

Here we go again! You’d better strap yourselves in for another roller-coaster ride that will take us up to Christmas. There’ll be tears, tantrums, trials and triumphs - and that’s only the judges. Of course we’re in the very early audition stages, but there’s a new format this year - all the auditions take place in front of a live audience, which could add an interesting dimension. Whatever, we’re in for the long haul!

ER (Saturday 7.10pm, C4/C4HD)

The terrestrial run for this final season of ER hits a high note this evening as the excellent Noah Wylie returns as John Carter. If you haven’t already seen the episode on its original transmission on cable, prepare for a shock at the end of the first of tonight’s visits to County General.

The Cube (Saturday 8.30pm, ITV1)

Phillip Schofield hosts this hysterically inconsequential game show of the type that only ITV can do.

Jam and Jerusalem (Sunday 8pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

The lovely, gentle comedy of Jam and Jerusalem comes to the end of its third series. Sal is getting quite flustered over the possibility of a new man in her life, and so decides to head down to the local gym to get in shape. Meanwhile, the ladies are equally flustered at the prospect of Charles Dance coming to speak to the Guild. It’s all rather fabulous, and one hopes that a fourth run won’t be far away.

Gunrush (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Following his emotionally wrenching turn in the final episode of The Street, Timothy Spall is back with an equally sensitive performance as a man whose life is torn apart by gun crime. When Doug’s daughter is gunned down in a senseless incident in a supermarket, he takes matters into his own hands to track down the killer, even at the cost of his own marriage and sanity. This is engrossing, compelling stuff, and Spall plays the everyman role for which he is famous with his usual skill.

Saturday Play: Slow Boat to Leningrad Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
A new play by David Pownall, offering a blackly comedic look at events of 1939, when an Anglo-French delegation embarked on a trip to Leningrad to negotiate with the USSR on a possible alliance against Germany, unaware that Stalin was signing a non-aggression pact with Hitler. Michael Maloney, Michael Jayston and Geoffrey Whitehead star.

Archive on 4: Meeting Myself Coming Back - Michael Grade Radio 4, Saturday 8pm
The Archive Hour’s new format continues with ITV’s outgoing executive chairman, Michael Grade, examining his life with the help of recordings form the BBC archives.

Elaine Paige on Sunday Radio 2, Sunday 1pm
Brian Conley, who has taken over from Michael Ball as Edna Turnblad in the Shaftesbury Theatre’s Hairspray, is this week’s studio guest.

Classic Serial: Two on a Tower Radio 4, Sunday 3pm
Maggie O’Neill stars as Lady Viviette Constantine in this new adpatation of one of Thomas Hardy’s lesser novels. Atop a tower on Lady Constantine’s estate, a handsome young astronomer, Swithin St Cleve (Blake Ritson) studies the stars. The pair fall passionately in love but, this being Hardy, with passion comes sacrifice.

Woman’s Hour Drama: The Quest Radio 4, Monday-Friday 10.45am & 7.45pm
A surreal retelling of the classic Arthurian myths by Jonathan Holloway, with Julia Rhind-Tutt as Arthur and Mark Gatiss as Merlin. With references to Steve Buscemi and Star Trek and Excalibur being stolen from Arthur’s hand by a track-suited teenager, the 15th Century world as Malory depicted it takes on a whole new look.

The Maltby Collection Radio 4, Monday 11.30am
David Nobbs’s museum-set sitcom returns, making it Julian Rhind-Tutt’s second new series of the day. Geoffrey Palmer and Rachel Atkins also star.

Comic Fringes Radio 4, Tuesday-Thursday 3.30pm
Janey Godley, Sarah Millican and Jon Richardson take up this week’s Afternoon Reading slots, each reading their own short stories recorded at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

That Mitchell and Webb Sound Radio 4, Tuesday 6.30pm
How nice to see that, despite an increasing television profile for their sketch show, David Mitchell and Robert Webb have not turned their back on Radio 4. This new six-part series also includes something that was dearly missing from the last series of BBC2’s That Mitchell and Webb Look — the effortless comic delights of Olivia Colman.

Afternoon Play: My Lovely Man Radio 4, Wednesday 2.15pm
Honeysuckle Weeks stars as Jemima, a debutante whose parents are pushing her to secure the hand in marriage of a local aristocrat in this 1950s-set comedy of social manners.

When Harry Met Sally at 20 Radio 4, Thursday 11.30am
Is it really two decades since Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan starred in Rob Reiner’s classic romcom that decided that men and women couldn’t be friends without sex getting in the way? That just makes me feel old. Film critic Sarah Churchwell celebrates the anniversary by looking at scenes from the film, and asks if gender politics have changed in the intervening years. What may not be discussed is why nethir actor has made anything better since.

Afternoon Play: A Pattern in Shrouds Radio 4, Thursday 2.15pm
In two linked attacks in August 1979, the IRA assassinated Lord Mountbatten and killed 18 British soldiers. This thought-provoking fiction concentrates on a Whitehall official’s conversations with an MI5 agent who has been identifying likely IRA targets and an adviser to then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Ian Ogilvy, Jared Harris and Alfred Molina play the three men, who fill the discussion about the possible long-term effects of terrorism with incredible power.

4 at the Fringe Radio 4, Thursday 6.30pm
In the first of two weekly visits to this year’s Edinburgh Fringe, Micky Flanagan presents a selection of comedy highlights. Expect Russell Kane, Fred MacAulay and Rich Hall to feature.

The Pickerskill Reports Radio 4, Friday 11.30am
Andrew McGibbon pens a second series of comic reminiscences of retired public schoolmaster, Dr Henry Pickersgill. Ian McDiarmid takes over the title role from the late Ian Richardson, who played him in 2005’s The Pickersgill Detentions. Thomas Sangster, Tony Gardner and Philip Madoc guest star in this first episode.

Afternoon Play: The Last Tsar Radio 4, Friday 2.15pm
20th century historical dramas are something of a theme this week — and here we have another, with Derek Jacobi playing King George V as, in 1917, he struggles with whether to offer his cousins the Romanov family sanctuary in England after Tsar Nicholas II had been forced to abdicate. Phyllida Law also stars as Queen Mary, with Owen Teale playing Lloyd George in this finely crafted tale by Ian Curteis.

As we’re fond of noting around here, there’s a lot of doom and gloom hanging around the TV industry of late.

But just to finish the day off with a quick post that might give cause for them upstairs to smile a little, the recession might actually prove to be good for the industry.

According to Television’s Got Talent, a report undertaken by Deloitte and YouGov to tie in with the Media Guardian Edinburgh International Television Festival, the current climate is seeing more people stopping in and watching television.

Are we allowed to sound a cautious note of hurrah here? The report focuses on the television industry during a recession, the relationship between television and advertising, and Internet television. The findings are taken from interviewing industry professionals, the Festival committee and 2000 members of the public.

I’m not going to delve deep into the figures here - the report is officially out tomorrow - but it seems that high percentages of respondents would prefer to cut back on socialising than their TV spend.

Obviously I’m not declaring that this solves all the problems of the television industry overnight, but surely, somewhere down the line, in some small way, this has to have a positive effect somewhere?

Doesn’t it?

After my somewhat down in the mouth posting yesterday on the non-turning on of the TV, I think I need to redress the balance a little. You’ll have seen how excited I was at the prospect of this Friday’s return of The Tudors to BBC2, but this is just the start of a brilliant night’s viewing pleasure, with a new episode of True Blood at 10pm on FX - obviously using the handy dandy Sky Plus to take care of the overlap.

It’s always nice when the TV schedules converge in such a nice way to make for an evening of pleasurable viewing - and Friday night seems such a perfect night of the week for these two shows. Bottle of wine, takeaway, sofa, hello weekend…

Of course, you know what I think of The Tudors. It’s a well-established show after two seasons - pretty, silly, a little bit outrageous but thoroughly engrossing and entertaining.

Last night something happened that rocked me to my very core, the blood in my veins chilling as my entire value system toppled around me.

Regular readers will know where I stand on the emotive, esoteric subject of this business we call television. I’ve spent over three gloriously happy years enjoying the privilege of writing about one of my life passions on a pretty much daily basis. Television has been a constant companion in my life as long as I can remember. I place the medium of television above cinema as an art form. I remember transmission dates of Doctor Who episodes more than I remember the birthdays of my newphews.

In short, I am obsessed.

So it was a bit of a shock when I came home last night and didn’t turn the television on. Once. It’s usually my default setting - make dinner, watch telly, go and do some work. But instead, I sat outside and read a book with the radio on. I ate dinner while reading a book, even though I had two first series episodes of the excellent Outnumbered to watch on DVD. I didn’t even notice when 9pm came and went and I missed the final episode of The Street (and please read Scott’s magnificent post on the finale here. Never a truer word said). Of course, I had it on set on the Sky box, but still. It’s not like me to miss stunning drama like that on first transmission if I’m in the house.

And so we say goodbye to The Street, Jimmy McGovern’s remarkable series of standalone, but inter-related dramas relating the extraordinary tales of neighbours on the most ordinary of streets. After three years, ITV Studios, which made the BBC-commissioned series, has made so many talented people redundant that McGovern doesn’t want to try and continue.

But while the series drew to a close last night with a moment of sad reflection, it also went out on a dramatic high — one that, in a way, reflects not only the end of The Street, but the end of an era.

Given that many people may have the episode stacked up on their Sky+ or on iPlayer, I’m going to continue this after the jump — so be warned, from hereon in there are spoilers…

• Preorder The Street, Series 3

• Buy The Street - Series 2

• Buy The Street - Series 1

The Street BBC1, Monday 9pm
Given Jimmy McGovern’s comments about redundancies at ITV Studios, which produces The Street for BBC One, it’s highly likely that this is the last ever episode of one of the best homegrown dramas in recent years. Fitting, then, that we return to cabbie Eddie (Timothy Spall), the only character to be featured in each of The Street’s three series. When his wife Margie (the brilliant Ger Ryan) temporarily moves in with her father after his stroke, Eddie’s relationship with work colleague Sandra (Gavin and Stacey’s Ruth Jones) starts to get complicated.

Brothers in Arms Sky 1/Sky1 HD, Monday 9pm
Following the 5 Rifles batallion during their six years of work in Basra, southern Iraq, this documentary does not flinch from showing the realities of the conflict, and the effects it has on families at home.

Ugly Betty E4, Tuesday 9pm, repeated Channel 4, Wednesday 10pm
Has anybody else noticed how, now that the show has taken on Sex and the City’s Patricia Field as cosutme designer, Betty’s outlandish outfits are some of the less garish on display?

Doctor Who’s Greatest Moments BBC3, Thursday 8pm
First of three clips shows looking at the successful fantasy show since its 2005 revival, although I do hope they include clips from the show’s entire history from 1963 onwards. Future editions will concentrate on the companions and the enemies, but this first programme concentrates on the Doctor. Cue lots of squeeing from the David Tennant fanbase…

Justin Lee Collins: West End Star Sky1/Sky1 HD, Thursday 9pm
Given three weeks to turn himself into a credible West End performer, the hairy Bristolian has to progress from being a comedian who has never taken any singing lessons to an actor capable of carrying off the role of Amos Hart in Chicago. Accusations of ‘stunt casting’ aside, JLC takes the task incredibly seriously.

The Wire BBC2, Thursday 11.20pm
The final, ten-episode season of David Simon’s hit show gets under way, with Mayor Carcetti struggling to balance the books and having to choose whether to fund the schools or the police. With strands from the previous four series all coming into play, an underlying theme is the decline of print journalism, the area in which Simon learnt his craft.

Coronation Street (Friday 7.30/8.30pm, ITV1)

Classic Corrie tonight as Steve and Becky have another go at getting hitched - as you might expect, things don’t quite go according to plan. First there are appearances from Mr McDonald senior, Jim, which doesn’t please Liz’s other half. But that’s the least of the happy couple’s worries… Becky, who has managed to keep off the booze this time, is about to be the victim of a plot cooked up by her ex, Slug, and bent copper DC Hooch. It’s vintage Corrie, and not to be missed.

Hotel Babylon (Friday 9pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

A final slice of sugary-sweet shenanigans from perhaps the worst five-star hotel in creation - you’d probably have a better time at Fawlty Towers to be honest. There’s something about this series that hasn’t quite gelled, with the ongoing plot of whether Sam and Juliet will get back together not setting the world alight. Not to insult his many fans, but Nigel Harman just ain’t Max Beesley, and if there’s going to be a fifth series, a rethink is needed. It’s still fun to an extent - but is that enough any more?

Torchwood: Children of Earth (Friday 9pm, BBC3)

Final episode in a repeat run of the stunning mini-series from the pen of Russell T Davies.

The Xtra Factor: Rewind (Saturday 6.50pm, ITV2)

We’re not quite at the start of the new series yet (that’s next week), but this retrospective show looks back at the all-conquering talent show’s most memorable moments. Whatever we think of The X Factor, it’s never less than entertaining. Even if it does go on for four months.

BBC Proms 2009 (Saturday 8.45pm, BBC2/BBC HD)

Tonight’s visit to the Proms serves to mark the 250th anniversary of Handel’s death, with performances of some of the composer’s most popular works. Martha Kearney presents.

Outnumbered (Saturday 9.10pm, BBC1)

Thank God for Outnumbered, sitting there like a shining beacon in a fog of tedium on a Saturday night. And the fact it’s a repeat makes it all the more amazing. Tonight sees Pete and Sue heading out for dinner, leaving the kids to run rings round the babysitter. It’s brilliant, well-observed stuff, and doesn’t get tired on repeat viewing.

Jam and Jerusalem (Sunday 8pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

The brilliant Jam and Jerusalem continues with an episode that has Caroline (Jennifer Saunders) throwing a dinner party at her enormous home - and finds the guests aren’t quite the ones she would have liked. As ever, there’s some beautifully observed comedy of social manners here, and always played with a big heart and sense of fun that’s hard to resist. As lovely as a hot buttered crumpet!

Single-Handed (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

What starts out as a simple case of drowning turns more sinister for Jack Driscoll in this final episode of the excellent crime drama when an old flame turns up. The fact that Maura Dooley happens to be a detective in Dublin should in no way make us suspicious that something bigger is going on here, oh no, not at all. This has been gripping, if grim viewing for a Sunday evening and might have been better suited to a Monday night slot (especially when you realise the tedious Monday Monday is doing terrible business in the 9pm hour on a erm… Monday). I hope we see more of the engaging Jack Driscoll for another series in the not too distant.

The Saturday Play: Trumbo Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
American screenwriter Dalton Trumbo, who had penned Spartacus and Roman Holiday, was one of the original Hollywood Ten, blacklisted after being accused of un-American activities, which ended his career. This play by his son Christopher has been constructed from Trumbo’s letters and transcripts of the notorious McCarthyite House Committee on un-American Activities hearings. Corin Redgrave plays Trumbo.

Archive on 4: Meeting Myself Coming Back Radio 4, Saturday 8pm
R4’s regular archive slot adopts a new format for three weeks, with John Wilson joining renowned public figures to reflect on their lives drawing from the BBC’s extensive archives. First on the guest list is American civil rights campaigner Jesse Jackson.

Russell Davies Radio 2, Sunday 9pm
I don’t think I’ve ever featured Davies’ programme dedicated to popular song before in Turn Off the TV, but there’a first time for everything. This week, to celebrate the 70th anniversary of MGM musical The Wizard of Oz, which premiered in Hollywood on August 15, 1939, Davies features different versions of the songs from the film.

Woman’s Hour Drama: Five Wedding Dresses Radio 4, Monday-Friday 10.45am & 7.45pm
An even more girly than usual subject for the WHD this week, as a series of discrete playlets centred around wedding dresses all draw together in Friday’s concluding episode.

Afternoon Play: Rep Radio 4, Monday 2.15pm
Jay Villiers plays actor George Friendly, who has just started a summer season in one of Britain’s last remaining seaside repertory theatres in Jonathan Holloway’s play. With that subject matter, how could The Stage not include it in our rundown?

Uncle Sam Goes Pop: The Story of V-Discs Radio 2, Monday 11.30pm
During World War II, the US military set up its own record label to press records to entertain the troops, on the strict understanding that they were not for sale in America and all copies were destroyed at the end of the war. Over 900 recordings were made by some of the era’s top artists — but now all that remains are archive copies in the US Library of Congress. This three-party story, presented by singer Patti Austin, tells the story.

BBC Proms: The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain Radio 3, Tuesday 10pm
Some people may object to the encroachment of light entertainment into each Proms season — not me. I’ll be glued to tonight’s show, with ukes galore providing unique renditions of Jerusalem, The Dambusters and Betthoven’s Ode to Joy, plus plenty of audience participation.

Ayres on the Air Radio 4, Wednesday 11.30am
A new series of sketches, stories and poems presented by Pam Ayres, with assistance from Geoffrey Whitehead and Felicity Montagu. This week’s subject is passion, and promises insights on speed dating, how to inject excitement into a relationships and how to pay your partner back when he interrupts your favourite Springsteen song.

Dave Podmore’s Ashes Radio 4, Wednesday 11pm
Christopher Douglas and Andre Nickolds write in star a new one-off comedy featuring their fictional cricketer Dave Podmore (Douglas). With just one Test match to go in the Ashes series, can Dave be persuaded to come out of retirement and save the day, or will he stay running his cornershop, selling cigarettes and porn to children?

Afternoon Play: Higher Radio 4, Thursday and Friday 2.15pm
Two comic plays by Joyce Bryant set amongst the chaos of the geography department of the fictional Hayborough University, starring Sophie Thompson and Robert Daws.

I Guess That’s Why They Call It The News Radio 4, Friday 6.30pm
While The Now Show and The News Quiz both take summer breathers, the comedy heads of Radio 4 try out a new Friday evening topical quiz, chaired by News Quiz regular Fred Macaulay, in which two teams play games based on the week’s headlines.

Friday Play: Flesh and Blood Radio 4, Friday 9pm
Film director Gillies Mackinnon’s first radio drama is an exploration of three generations of men and their , starring Gary Lewis and David Hayman. When Kenny’s teenage son runs away, Kenny does not tell his own father — but the older man’s background as an ex-policeman leads him to smell a rat…

In the midst of the general apathy that seems to be surrounding TV at the moment, along with the usual sniping about the BBC (bottled water? Rolls eyes), the state of ITV, the fact that Big Brother is still on and nobody noticed, it’s nice to write about something frivolous and fun.

The last few months I have been utterly charmed by the exploits of Aleksandr Orlov, creator of comparethemeerkat.com and his continued frustration over his website being confused for that of an insurance comparison website. It’s a brilliantly conceived ad campaign, and today, the voice behind the debonair meerkat was revealed as that of actor Simon Greenall, probably best known as Alan Partridge’s Geordie sidekick Michael in I’m Alan Partridge.

There’s nothing astounding about this, nothing to comment on, beyond “Aw, that’s nice.” I think Greenall is a great actor - his turn in Alan Partridge is one of the finest comedy performances of the last ten years. And I love Aleksandr Orlov, so putting the two together, well, it’s simples really.

I think I must be losing my edge. I happily greeted the news that the new series of cartoon Dennis the Menace, commissioned by CBBC, will see the character having his wings clipped. No bullying of softies, no catapults or water pistols - but there will, we are promised, still be plenty of mischief.

Of course, there are some that see this is the usual political correctness gone mad, that this series will not be true to the character, blah blah. The story quotes Jim Stewart, a long-standing fan of The Beano, who says:

“It’s ridiculous. Dennis is supposed to be a little bit edgy and a bit of a lovable rogue.”

Well yes, but with canny storytelling and some imagination, the main character of the legendary Beano comic can still be a naughty little boy on TV - only without kicking the stuffing out of the nerdy kids or using a catapult on them. Apart from anything else, do kids actually use catapults like that these days? No, they can get these lethal things that cause a lot of damage, not just leave a splat of ink on your backside.

I was laughing out loud at my desk this morning over some vaguely sensationalist reporting from the Telegraph ahead of the third series of The Tudors premiering on BBC2 a week on Friday.

It’s another case of making a negative story where one doesn’t actually exist, with the headline claiming:

“BBC period show, The Tudors, is ‘historically inaccurate’, leading historian says”

Okay, not exactly the most startling notion that’s ever been expressed about the Showtime series created and written by Michael Hirst. It is historically inaccurate, so in that regard, the headline is on the level.

Then we have the sell, in smaller type…

“The BBC period drama set during the reign of Henry VIII, The Tudors, is historically inaccurate despite it being in its third series, one of the country’s leading historians, Tracy Borman, says.”

That’s hitting the point home on the subject, which I think we all get, that The Tudors is, in fact, historically inaccurate. Okay…

On Tour with the Queen Channel 4, Monday 9pm
After Rupert Everett’s louche attempts to follow in the even-loucher Lord Byron, there’s an altogether more refined air to this replacement travelogue, in which actor and playwright Kwame Kwei-Armah retraces the Queen’s Coronation Tour of the Commonwealth in 1953. Designed to persuade the colonies that it was in their interest to retain their links with Britain, its effect on our modern multicultural state has been profound. He can sometimes come across as a little too over-earnest for my liking, but Kwei-Armah’s Republican tendencies will hopefully help this documentary from being too fawning.

Would I Lie to You? BBC1, Monday 10.35pm
Team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack return for a third series of this engagingly funny panel game. Rob Brydon takes over the hosting duties from Angus Deayton, which should improve the laugh quotient even more. But can there be any more humorous skeletons in Mack and Mitchell’s respective closets? I’m sure there will be. A bigger mystery, though, is why this has been shunted into the post-news slot, when it should surely be better off in a 9pm or 9.30pm point in the schedule.

Holby City BBC1, Tuesday 8pm
Elliot’s losing his nerve in the operating theatre, new doc Oliver Valentine (James Anderson) is trying it on with the nurses, while Donna — poor Donna — is throwing herself into her work to avoid the reality of her father’s condition. That’s not going to end well, is it?

Dollhouse Sci-Fi, Tuesday 9pm
After a shaky start, Joss Whedon’s series reaches the end of its first season with a thrilling episode, Epitaph One, which did not air on the series’ original US run. According to TV Squad, production company Fox needed a 13th episode for international distribution but was unwilling to fork out the cash to make it. So we end up with an episode that’s low on budget but high on concept. It’s 2019, and the Dollhouse technology has led Earth into fullscale civil war. A small group of people break into the House, and with the use of flashbacks begin to figure out how events transpired the way they did.

True Stories: Afghan Star More4, Tuesday 10pm
I’m sure we’ve plugged this before, but this episode in More 4’s current “best of” run of its documentary strand can never be plugged enough. In a country where religious fundamentalism has held such sway for so long, a competition to find singers of secular music — including women who, gasp, dance too — has an element of danger that we just don’t get with The X Factor or American Idol.

Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, Wednesday 9pm
Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall’s family hail from Liverpool, although she left with her parents for Canada when she was a baby. She returns to the UK with her mother to explore the reason why her grandfather walked out on them without a word of explanation.

Being Human BBC1, Thursday 10.35pm
A welcome rerun on the big channel for BBC3’s biggest drama success. Russell Tovey, Aidan Turner and Lenora Crichlow are a werewolf, a vampire and a ghost who share a house in Bristol. By turns hilarious and spine-chilling — often in the same breath — if you missed it the first time round, don’t make the same mistake again. A second series is currently in production.

Hotel Babylon (Friday 9pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

If you can stand some sugary, syrupy silliness, then Hotel Babylon is probably for you on this muggy Friday evening. It’s hard to actually care about any of the storylines in this show anymore, they just seem so random and unconnected these days. Of note tonight is the arrival of ex-Emmerdale actress Amy Nutall as new receptionist Melanie. Everything else is the usual inconsequential nonsense.

Classic Goldie (Friday 9pm, BBC2)

The second part of this documentary sees Goldie’s ideas and preparation of an original classical composition for the Proms come to fruition. The enjoyable programme finishes with the drum ‘n’ base man attending the premiere of the final piece at last Sunday’s Family Prom at the Royal Albert Hall.

True Blood (Friday 10pm, FX)

This sexy and sassy HBO series is well into its stride now and is becoming a welcome addition to Friday nights. And love has blossomed between stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, with the couple recently announcing their engagement.

BBC Proms 2009 (Saturday 7pm, BBC2)

With the schedules at their zenith of tedium this evening (even Casualty isn’t on), you could do a lot worse than lose yourself in this evening’s visit to the Royal Albert Hall. Tonight the National Youth Orchestra of Great Britain will play Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No 1 in B flat minor. Meanwhile, over on Sky1…

Girls Aloud: Out of Control (Saturday 8pm, Sky1, SkyHD)

What? Don’t look like at me like that…

Jam and Jerusalem (Sunday 8pm, BBC1/BBC HD)

Saints be praised! Sunday night television is saved by the return of Jennifer Saunders’s fabulous comedy centring on the activities of the Clatterford Womens’ Guild. It’s brilliant, gentle stuff, but cut with a sense of anarchy that you’d expect from Saunders’s writing. Sue Johnston, Dawn French and Pauline McLynn are all back, with great support from Rosie Cavaliero, David Mitchell and Maggie Steed, amongst others. This first hour long episode of three has the villagers getting flustered over a planning application - then they find out it might be for Charles Dance…

Single-Handed (Sunday 9pm, ITV1)

Single-Handed is a bit grim, despite the pretty Irish countryside, but it’s still engrossing stuff. This week, Jack is searching for a missing child that may or not be a kidnapping case, while his dad is facing a malpractice tribunal over his own policing methods. As noted before, Heartbeat this ain’t.

Soho Stories: Mergers and Acquisitions and Megabucks Radio 4, Saturday 10.30am
Paul Jackson’s history of television’s independent production sector concludes by bringing us up to date, with the consolidation of the market and the rise of the super-indie.

Saturday Play: The Song Thief Radio 4, Saturday 2.30pm
Music has the power to redeem, and to corrupt. That’s the theme of this piece by Michael Chaplin (who created TV’s Monarch of the Glen). Young composer Stephen (Nicholas Boulton) seeks out on old man (Ron Cook) who is reputed to have written a hauntingly beautiful love song, which was performed only once. He embraks on a cold campaign to make the man’s daughter fall in love with him, and together they persuade him to sing it again before he dies.

I Am Legend Radio 7, starts Monday 6.30pm (repeated 12.30am)
Richard Matheson’s classic novel, featuring the last man on earth fighting plague-invested vampires, is adapted rather better here than it was on the silver screen with Will Smith.

MacAulay and Co Radio 7, starts Monday 11pm
With the Edinburgh Festival Fringe underway, Radio 7’s annual chat show hosted by Fred MacAulay returns. Always enjoyable, it provides a great complement to The Stage’s own daily podcast, produced in association with The Podcast Network: listen via iTunes or at http://edinburghfringe.thepodcastnetwork.com.

BBC Proms: Gilbert and Sullivan’s Patience Radio 3, Tuesday 7.30pm (part 2, 8.50pm)
A semi-staged version of the operetta that opened the famous Savoy Theatre in 1881. Rebecca Bottone stars as Patience, with the BBC Concert Orchestra conducted by G&S aficionado Charles Makerras. In the interval, Ian McMillan and Ian Bradley discuss the power of the Gilbert and Sullivan partnership.

The Art of Laughter Radio 2, Tuesday 10.30pm
The psychology, physiology and importance of laughter in our lives is explored in an hour-long special timed to coincide wit the start of this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival. John Cleese, Jo Brand, Stephen Fry, Richard Curtis, Hugh Grant, Richard E Grant, David Walliams, Matt Lucas, Lenny Henry, Shazia Mirza, Reginald D Hunter and a couple of academics all dissect why different styles of humour affect different people in different ways. All of which is presented by Jerry Hall. Jerry Hall?! Don’t make me laugh!

The Odd Half-Hour Radio 4, Wednesday 6.30pm
Talking of comedy, this sketch show examining the pains of modern life is good fun. It started last week, and I have slapped myself on the wrist for not including it then — last week’s episode is, of course, still available on the iPlayer for the next couple of days.

Afternoon Play: Aftershock Radio 4, Friday 2.15pm
Tina Pepler’s drama documentary follows Eleanor (Eleanor Zimmerman) as she revisits Istanbul ten years after being caught up in the 1999 Turkish earthquake. She finds a shanged city no better prepared for future diasasters, but the bigger changes have come in the deliberalisation of Muslim culture.

When it comes to television, you all know I’m a bit of a daftie. I watch far too much of it, have far too many DVD boxsets to plough through, and the Sky Plus is always packed to bursting - well, it would be if there was much decent on to watch to right now (thank the Lord for True Blood).

But this young man from Brixton goes above and beyond the call of duty in his devotion to the idiot’s lantern by claiming a new world record for the continuous watching of television. 31-year-old Steve Misiura endured The Rembrandts singing I’ll Be There For You 238 times as he sat through every episode of legendary US sitcom Friends. This Herculean feat took the record breaker 83 hours and 40 minutes, taking a break every 16 hours.

Isn’t Andy Hamilton great? He’s funny, witty, avuncular, and talented - and, on the basis of his chat with The Stage ahead of the Edinburgh International Television Festival, sage and wise.

His opinions on the state of British television comedy are refreshing and swim somewhat against the tide of sneery negativity that comes from within the industry far too frequently:

“As years go by, people forget the dross and remember the good stuff - convincing themselves there was a golden age. But when Steptoe and Son was on, I am sure if we got out the schedules we would find lots of poor comedy shows.”

It’s such a simple notion, but one that makes a lot of sense. It’s the same theory as assuming that American TV is better than British TV - it’s not, we just get the really good stuff - and Comedy Central gets Everybody Loves Raymond.

I was rather tickled by this story this morning from the ever-fascinating world of home shopping television, something that wouldn’t normally be our beat here at TV Today. It seems that the shopping channels bid tv and price-drop tv have mastered the tricky science of time travel by having the same presenter fronting two shows on both channels at the same time, both being tagged up as ‘live’ by an on-screen ident.

Oh really? That’s quite an achievement. Now I will put my hand up and admit to being fascinated by home shopping. It is a genre of broadcasting that has its own quirks and language as much as drama and comedy and light entertainment do. I’ll even admit to having bought items - in fact from both of the channels in question here - bargains all! You see, I’m not proud (I watched Bonekickers, so that isn’t exactly new information). I’ve even watched, mesmerised, on a rainy Sunday afternoon when there’s nothing else on - just to watch it. Either I need to get out more (no sniggering at the back), or there’s something subliminal in the TV signals.

Over on US TV blog Televisionary, Jace has been interviewing Torchwood and Doctor Who writer/producer Russell T. Davies and director Euros Lyn. After all the Comic-Con madness and the ‘Save Ianto’ hubbub, it’s nice to hear them talk about more general matters regarding both series — and for Euros to get some attention: both Russell and John Barrowman have such large personalities that he was on the verge of being ignored at some recent press events.

The sound level’s a little low, but it’s well worth watching — although it contains some spoilers for future Doctor Who episodes.

• Song’s End: Televisionary Talks to “Doctor Who” and “Torchwood” Duo Russell T. Davies and Euros Lyn

The Street BBC1, Monday 9pm
Star of this week’s slice of the best drama currently on television is Joseph Mawle, who plays a chef who makes no secret of his distate for the influx of foreign workers into the UK. When he and his mate Duffy come across a burning building in which a Polish girl is crying for help, events start to spiral…

Cowards BBC4, Tuesday 9.30pm
Deserved repeat for a 3-pepisode comedy sketch show series that didn’t get too much attention the first time round. Tim Key, Stefan Golaszewski, Llloyd Woolf and Tom Baden star.

Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, Wednesday 9pm
David Mitchell is omnipresent on our TV screens these days, it seems — but his reserved nature makes for a refreshing take on the genealogy series that often revels in getting its participant to the brink of tears.

Roy CBBC, Wednesday 4.30pm
Shot as a documentary, this is a sitcom about Roy O’Brien, an 11-year-old growing up in the Dublin suburb of Ballyfermot. What marks this series out as different? Roy is a drawn character living in a world of flesh-and-blood people. Spun off from the short film Badly Drawn Roy, which was pitched at an older age range, this is the most inventive programme you’ll see all week.

Spanish Flu: The Forgotten Fallen BBC4, Wednesday 9pm
The scheduling of this drama documentary is either brilliant or highly coincidental, as the nation continues to wonder how swine flu will affect the nation. Bill Paterson plays Dr James Niven, the physician who struggled to defeat the 1918 outbreak of Spanish flu that killed 228,000 in the United Kingdom and millions worldwide.

New Tricks BBC1, Thursday 9pm
A film producer has been murdered at Pinewood Studios. Cue much piss-taking at the world of actors and their egos. Sandra Dickinson has a small guest role, as does Imogen Stubbs. As you may be able to tell I’m finding it hard to summon up much enthusiasm — the fact that it’s a Square Eyes pick is more because of the paucity of good telly on this week.

The Funny Side Of… TV Talent BBC2, Thursday 9.30pm
A humourous look at the history of talent competitions on television. Which would be that much funnier it was half an hour long rather than a full hour.